Letting go. Releasing. Transformation. Shifting. Rebirth. Such familiar words, aren’t they? And yet, we can’t quite grasp the reality of each one unless we are personally in the midst of our own life change. That is exactly where I find myself.
Emotions run deep as I am realizing just what it’s like to be a mom who is ‘letting go’ of her growing children. In truth, they aren’t even ‘children’ anymore, but young adults moving quickly into the space of becoming fully independent. Only recently have I become aware of the process required to ‘let go’ of these magnificent beings for whom I have taken total responsibility on so many levels for the entirety of their life. And it’s not even that it’s simply about them not ‘needing’ their mom, in fact it’s likely very little about that. I’m not certain I can yet say all of what it’s about, only that there is a very healing process in coming to this space and sharing these inner movements of my being.
It’s an old cliche’ isn’t it–that we will love our children only to grow them up and watch them leave. It’s not the physical leaving so much as the emotional disconnect that occurs along side that. We’ve raised our children to have significant freedoms in choosing how they wish to think, act, believe and interact with their daily lives. As they enter the world of young adulthood, they are now ready to wholly take on that freedom in a much different way. And we are left with sideline seats as they step into the wholeness of who they are–at least who they are in this place of life.
And so what I find grieving within is that loss of being their MOM who can cuddle up on the couch, who can squeeze them tight at any moment, who can share her concerns and still be able to protect them. This is not something my spirit–my heart–knows how to navigate. In this place all there is for me to do is love, even when loving mom back isn’t ‘cool’ anymore. How does a mom move away from these sweet ‘children’ being her babies still? I don’t know the answer to that. What I do know, is that it is indeed time to let go; time to allow these three of my greatest loves to step forward into their own journeys as young adults; time to trust that while Earth mom is fading into the background for a bit, their Divine Mother will always be with them.
The wound is the place where the light enters you. ~ Rumi
The beauty of this space is that while my heart breaks, my mind understands there is something magical blossoming simultaneously. This is a new chapter of my life too. One in which I focus once again on the wife I am, on the individual I am, on the purpose and joys that my heart will follow next. Thank you for sharing, my friends. Love to each…xo