It feels as though this post (and about three others) has been circling around in my thoughts for most of the last two days. All of a sudden I can’t write enough…and then hear that nagging little voice that says if I try it will be too much and the whole effort will be tainted. Well….I’m not listening and I’m letting the voice of my HEART be the one that takes the lead. So here goes.
So much energy building around this time of year for me…and it feels different than last year. Last year I had just begun this site, started writing again and was really seeking to find an outlet to my voice. My, oh my, did I do that! 2011 proved to be a cavernous opening of my heart in ways I couldn’t possibly have foreseen or understood. The little girl inside of me who held such fear of being seen, disliked, judged, outcast – and perhaps the remnants of a being who faced the same in lifetimes past – found her voice, poured out her heart and felt connection like never before. The world opened up to reveal something filled with grace, love, acceptance. Many communities grew out of one person’s willingness to speak their truth, and as they did, the message resonated and the number grew with rapid pace. People are hungry for soul connection…and the more we let our lights shine, the greater the invitation we send out to the world to do the same. WE matter. I matter.
Even that one little sentence–two words: I matter–pierces my heart in this moment. Just yesterday I wrote a note about the heartbreak I feel over cruelty to animals. It was really a plea to those in my community to share their thoughts, to offer what they have found that works, that makes a difference. I truly was feeling hopeless, hurt, desperate for something that indicated there IS possibility of healing and change. I’m not one to get lost in that space very often, but it overwhelmed me yesterday. And now through my willingness to let the voice of spirit flow through me, I find that She is speaking directly TO me. ‘YOU MATTER.’ Be who you are and trust that whether you see it or not, you are making a difference. Somehow, somewhere. You are impacting the healing, the light, the love that shines through our planet. Thank you, Universe, my heart needed that bit of loving reassurance.
Two words that have risen to the surface as 2011 comes to a close for me: the first is the prominent one, while the second is the subliminal truth that drives it. MAGICAL. Behind that comes ‘miracle’ and now enters perhaps the most pure and true description of this energy I’m feeling: MYSTERY. I’ve studied the ‘mystery’ of mysticism for years. It now feels as though something has transformed and I’m walking in it. I don’t just ‘know’ it – it’s becoming an intimate companion–a part of my being and surrounding my entire energy field. I’m both humbled and grateful to step forward into 2012, shrouded in the mystery of All That Is, open to her magic, willing to receive her miracles.
It really resonated with me, Marge, your posting about allowing the anticipation of something to build. The anticipation of taking part in this challenge during 2012 is doing just that! I’m taking the option of writing about what I feel led to do for the first week, because I value my word. So if I’m putting it out there, I’ll be more committed to honoring it…and also the process of writing it through brings it to a deeper space within my consciousness. So here it is:
I’m committing to walking at least 5 days next week.
I hear you chuckling – so simple, right? But it’s not, my friends, it’s not. I have always loved to walk…with our dog, with family, with friends. But alone? No thank you. It’s not that I won’t enjoy it once I just do it, it’s more that the old fears creep in. When I was younger, I wouldn’t even go into a convenience store alone. There’s something about the feeling that you are the only one who stands out and people are looking at you, critiquing you. Ironic isn’t it? We so want to be noticed, and yet we so fear it. Since there is no more dog, family isn’t always here and I don’t wish to feel myself grow 10 sizes bigger through the fear of my own inner perspective, I’ve stopped walking. And that, my friends, is a detriment to my entire being. The nudges have been coming…and I’ve quite effectively kept them to a quiet mumbling. But with the advent of this challenge: the message is ROARING and I’m listening.
Caroline Myss: guidance comes in any form, about any part of your life. If you don’t listen to the seemingly simple guidance of ‘I need to walk’, then how will you be able to hear and follow the guidance that is ‘big?’ So I’m listening. And I’ll be walking. Alone. Five days. And here’s what’s true: I just know that once I acknowledge the fears and just get GOING, I’m going to love it! I’m going to feel positive about myself, energized, actively taking part in my overall well-being.
If you’re interested in joining the ‘No-Comfort-Zone 2012 Challenge’ – here are Marge’s notes on it:
So much is open to us as we step into a ‘fresh start.’ Whether we make New Year’s resolutions, set goals, take on challenges or just simply go with the flow….there is a magic awaiting each one of us. We can choose to welcome it, honor its presence, see its miraculous movement in our lives. It’s already surrounding you, dear ones. Open your heart, close your eyes and breathe it in. Wishing you all the happiest moments as you embrace the energy of 2012. xoxo
No Comfort Zone Participants Thus Far: (let me know if I’ve missed you)
Crowing Crone Joss – ‘Accepting the Challenge’
Starbear – ‘Winter No Comfort Zone’
Humble Thoughtz – ‘2012 Challenge No Comfort Zone’
Cecelia Futch – ‘New Year Challenges 2012 Here We Come’