Liberating Love

The Divine conspires with us to nurture, heal, and expand our heart. ~ Crowing Crone Joss, She Who Walks in Beauty 

How does it come to be that we measure the ways in which we love? By this I mean, we carefully keep in check how much we let it show that we love someone, something, ourselves. There seem to be social boundaries around how and when to let your love show. 

I remember being a teenager and writing love letters. Sitting in the corner of my bedroom where the heat register was, curled up and in my pj’s, I would sit for easily an hour and write the whispers of my heart. There was something so liberating in being able to say to someone what I was feeling – about anything, about everything. 

Georgia O'Keefe, Red Canna

As I think back to that time and then continue on through the years, I can see that I’ve always had someone in my life with whom I can be completely open and honest. Sometimes a narrative issued directly from the heart can later feel to be so ‘silly’ or ‘out there.’ And yet, it reveals the purest of who we are.

How is it that we have fear wrapped around this exercise, this opening and willingness to let ourselves be felt and heard? I’m asking myself this question, as I can see that there are places where I have such love, but keep it so carefully guarded. Subconsciously, there are ways in which I protect the depth of how much I can and do love. There are filters on when, how and with whom it flows. 

I recognize that some of this is part of our social structure. We aren’t ‘supposed’ to put it all out there on display for everyone to see. The best reason I can find for this isn’t the one that we might expect – the vulnerability of others taking advantage. Instead it’s one that we create ourselves – the fear of humiliation. How does it look to let such depth of love be seen, felt, heard? 

Humiliation. Takes me again to my teacher, Caroline Myss. In the same series on mysticism in which we connected to the fire of grace, we talked of humiliation vs. humility. It takes humility to let our love shine so brilliantly. And I don’t mean the kind of shining that means we have to tell everyone about it. Sometimes it’s just letting our truth be present, however it will. Because we are Divine beings, we are also beings filled with Divine love, and meant to let that love touch and seep into the world around us.  

I loved watching Oprah interview Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler on her new program, ‘Oprah’s Next Chapter.‘ He let his ability to love so deeply, so openly, so erotically be heard and seen for what it is. He didn’t apologize, filter or make it sound acceptable. As they shared in the serenity of his home on Lake Sunapee, NH, Steven confidently and comfortably held true to his beliefs and who he is. 

And I’m holding true to mine. I’m choosing to love as I feel it in my heart. I’m honoring the liberation of letting her whispers be my guide. And I know in doing so, I’m opening myself to seeing and moving through every boundary that keeps my deep and boundless love in check. I’m grateful to have had–and continue to have–experiences and people in my life that allow me to love without limits. And I’m feeling overwhelmed with the sudden awareness: THIS is my purpose. xo

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10 thoughts on “Liberating Love

  1. Pingback: Unconditional Love Exposed ~ NoCZ Challenge 2012 | A Heart's Whispers

  2. Thank you Jackie for this beautiful post.
    I Love. I am Love. I do not give it, I be it. Loving ourselves provides us the freedom to love others openly. Perhaps that is one of the blessings of growing older – I am no longer embarrassed – as Janece put it – Fear and Love cannot occupy the same space. This is one of the primary teachings of a Course in Miracles. I am not afraid to be love, freely openly, honestly. I love this group and all of the insight-filled comments. Today, instead of being on the computer, I have been doing something I love, for people I love – working with stone, being creative, watching it snow, being creative, stopping in for a minute to catch up and say hello, Having 3 days at home to work with stone is something else I love. Tonight I get to spend the evening with a man I love. What will people think? What other people think is none of my business. 🙂
    Funny, Miro – wrote about Jealousy today – and today I watched/listened to a beautiful dismanteling of Jealousy and Resentment with Byron Katie… you can find it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzEa9jJ8d7Y&feature=related
    XO

  3. I love your style of writing, Jackie. It’s always so open, honest and fearless. And thought provoking! I agree that many feel we’re not *supposed* to be fearless in dealing with others. They feel uneasy with someone like that if they themselves are guarded. Sometimes they feel as though the fearless person has an ulterior motive or agenda, like trying to intimidate or control others, or perhaps they’ve just lost their mind and gone crazy. But as Socrates in Way of the Peaceful Warrior said, “Sometimes you have to lose your mind (conventional way of thinking) to come to your senses (the truth of how things really are).”

    Humiliation and embarrassment are one of the biggest culprits of unfulfilled lives. “What will people think?” One of the greatest days of my life was when I finally said “Who cares what they think, what will *I* think?” In the end, that’s all that really matters, because as the old saying goes, “No matter where you go, there you are.” Not anyone else, just you. 🙂

    A piece I did on embarrassment a while ago: http://warriorpoetwisdom.com/2011/08/08/embarrassed/

    Have a fun & productive weekend Jackie!
    Peace & grace,
    ~Miro

  4. Strong Jackie – This is My Favourite thus Far – Because it is a social commentary as well – and i like to do that – well in the past a lot more – Activate things = shake them up .
    But To be Figuratively Naked – is the most Humble feeling – Because Our Mind doesn’t get in – It’s free flow . and That is what Love is —a Flow of Energy that Cannot be destroyed ….Love is never wrong – How could it be ?
    Now Humiliation – is what others do because they cannot understand or “Tolerate ” the Individuals Capacity to Give and Show This Love . Nakedly .
    The Ones that do Not understand- prey on Vulnerability and and Open- ness ….. That’s Their Karma …..
    I am convinced that to let Love rule – during every moment of our lives – is an incredible strength ….
    So – Strength In Vulnerability – Vulnerability in Strength …..
    LOVE – PEACE – it’s the only place to Live .
    And the ones that Humiliate and degrade or deface . i call them vultures ….But It’s in their Fear of Love and Not understanding something about someone – Fear of The unknown …..
    Sorry for the lengthy response my sweet – but you have gracefully tapped a nerve – and that’s a Good thing —— !!!!! FEAR of being Naked – Or Loving Too Much – I would Rather Love too much – reminds me a bit of my post – http://catforsley.me/2011/09/07/fear-or-love-cat-forsley/
    Your post has made me see – reminded me that You can’t be too Free In Love . Through Love …….
    I love You …..It’s pretty obvious —— but i will say it again ….:) I LOVE YOU ……..XXCAT

  5. I have struggled between humility and humiliation for years – my reaction to humiliation is to be arrogant – the opposite of humility. The vortex of self-image – you described it so beautifully. The risk of being who we are and the consequences if we hide.

  6. I love the way you look at things…
    I recall… love is like a candles flame and if the flame starts to wither and grow dim, there are waysto make it bright again like draining off the pool of wax or one can simply allow it to die out. of course love is not a candle it is a feeling usually shared by two…

    “the fear of humiliation.” I mentally wrestle with this phrase but it may be because I rarely feel humiliated or shy with my emotions and feelings. but I can see where it comes into play… a thought provoking post (~_~)xo

    1. p.s. I spent the morning, reading eight pages of the link you left on your comment for Sesshu and the rat… very insightful and I love Yoga… the key to vitality and the story of the swami was heart felt… the story of the two buckets was a story I used earlier in the zendictive blog but I found so many spiritual messages in the site…thank you (~_~) bows humble xo

  7. Janece

    Steven Tyler is quite the character, isn’t he?? It’s hard to believe he’s 66 (his birthday, while in a different year, is just a few days before mine, so I feel like I “get” him) And I very well remember 1973 when Aerosmith put out their first album. “Dream On” was – IS – an amazing song. They’re music was part of the overall musical backdrop of my youth (I was 16 at the time). Such a great band! I’ll have to look for reruns of that show…I don’t watch much TV except sometimes at night…I’ll have to check it out 🙂

    You’ve been talking a lot about the state of grace (something, as you know, is near and dear to my heart. I still find it odd using my real name while blogging, after using “Grace” since 2005. LOL) And I wonder about it’s part in our loving. For example, if we’re feeling afraid to *show* our love, whether it’s because of potential humiliation or whatever, isn’t that the opposite of the love itself? Fear and Love cannot occupy the same place at the same time. So I would have to ask myself how true the love if I can’t show it? Is it possible that it’s actually something else I feel? And if I am convinced it’s love – unconditional love – which always (in my opinion) has the other person in mind, wouldn’t that necessitate the love pushing any and all fear out so that it could express itself? Maybe it is GRACE that we need, to energize the love to do just that. We couldn’t possibly feel humiliated if the love we’re giving is truly unconditional and (by definition of grace itself) unmerited.

    Hum…good food for thought for me this morning, Jackie, as I’ve been preparing to “love” someone outloud that I don’t even particularly like. (OK, I don’t like her at all. But what does Like have to do with it, anyway? LOL) Brilliant message. Thank you.

I always love to hear your thoughts....xx

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