Percolating Love

Growing up I was certain that once I fell in love and got married my life would change drastically and things would become clear, easy, happy. Imagine my pain in falling off that pedestal of false perception! For years I wondered how I could have been so wrong, how the Universe could orchestrate such depths of love and connection between two souls, only to leave us empty, yearning for what felt so out of reach. 

It’s been twenty years my husband and I have been together now. The dream I carried in my heart as a child has taken a long and winding journey of its own, alongside the path of my life. But what is true is this, my friends: that dream of love being the answer to everything I desired–it’s truth. Love is the answer. It does carry a powerfully healing and empowering energy. Only not in the way we all anticipate. It doesn’t look like Snow White and her Prince Charming. Nor is it the racy, passionate love we expect to be duplicated from what we see on the screen, onto the pages of our every day existence. 

Connecting to love’s presence takes time. We have so many boundaries and barriers to her entrance into the very tender and vulnerable core of our heart. As humans in Earth school, we are adept at holding her prisoner, placing expectations on how she is meant to look and enter our lives. Sometimes so much so that we can’t recognize her even when she arrives in all her beauty and glory. We push back, keep her warmth at bay–believing somehow WE are the ones being wronged in this scenario. 

We aren’t yet trained to see love as she is. Quiet, open, inviting–ever beckoning us to let go. She waits for us as we wrestle with the art of surrender. With patience and grace she holds space while we flounder in the depths of our own wounds and fears. And when we emerge through healing and a desire to be whole, she is there. Arms open, fully ready and willing to hold us in her embrace. 

One of the most beautiful things about Divine love is she does not force herself upon us. Always we have the choice–stay or go. Open or hold on tightly to what feels ‘safe.’ Walk away with our pride intact, or stay in the place where transforming fire burns away the rough edges of our ego. For beyond those walls of protection lives the most exquisite gem of who we are–the capacity to let go, to love completely, to trust that we are always held in the arms of her grace. 

Twenty years. Love has been percolating in my marriage all this time, and I’ve only just realized it over the last few years. Even in the darkest moments–she never left us–she never left me. The true essence of her has been right here all along, waiting to be unleashed, burning through the barriers we’ve so meticulously engineered around our soft spots. And today, my friends, she could even be Prince Charming! Only Prince Charming isn’t the man I thought he was. He’s REAL. He’s authentic, with dreams, hopes, fears and a truth of his own. We are both human–AND spirit. We are meant to be side by side, loving, supporting, honoring one another. And together, through all of life’s curves and turns, we have and are continuing to learn just how to follow her lead. She is our ever present Guide. 

The choice continues to be ours. Follow, open, allow, surrender….or hold tight. For me personally, I find the more I let go and surrender to the Divine, to the power of the Love I so desire, the more it is reflected back to me. What greater gift could I want from the man I love than to speak directly to the very tender and vulnerable core of my heart? I can’t think of anything. It’s been worth the wait, the struggles, the challenges, the heartbreak to come full circle to this place. No doubt, we have more turns to navigate, but we’ll do it together and in the warm rays of Divine Love. 

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Inspiring fiery passion through soul connection. Lover, Seducer, Awakener, Firestarter, Visionary. #kissingthesacred

16 thoughts on “Percolating Love”

  1. Beautiful post on love – true and honest. It’s great to know that love has been inspiring you for so many years and is still doing. And completely agree with Miro. 🙂 Really, many people don’t just understand love, because all they think of it is as if it is a fairy-tale kind of feeling. But it is not. They are foolish only because they don’t understand it. I always hope that more and more people understand the divinity of love, because eventually that will only survive and grow. Thanks for sharing this love of yours.

    Cheers for those who can love!

    1. You’re so right Nandini – it’s NOT a fairy tale feeling – or at least not once you get past the beginning stages. It has so many pathways and truly is our greatest teacher of trust, letting go and just allowing. xo

  2. What a beautiful view on love. Congratulations on 20 years together, it’s inspiring, especially in a day and age where the divorce rate is what it is. Love is all about selflessness. When two people care more about the other than themselves, that’s real love. The imbalance is always when one is selfless, but the other has not full let go and still cares about their own comfort and desires as much or more than the other. No matter how selfless a person is, eventually they can’t be with a person they know in their heart to be selfish, not for their own gain, but because the selfish person simply doesn’t deserve it and hasn’t learned to appreciate it yet, if ever. Plenty of other selfless fish in the sea. 🙂
    Peace & grace,

    1. There has to be a willingness in both people to CHANGE – to let the movement of who we are and how we transform through life echo its sentiments into our relationship too. If we allow it, our partner relationship can be our greatest healer AND teacher. I’m very thankful that we have both been able to hold course, even when we were unsure we could do so any longer. Thanks for your thoughts, Miro. xoxo

  3. LOVE THIS J …….

  4. It has taken literally YEARS to be able to understand it – at least in a physical way. Somehow we’ve always known this is meant to be worked out. And we’ve each found the strength and commitment within to keep coming back to the center of who we are as partners. Thanks for your warm wishes….and ever present gentle, loving support Marge. xoxo

  5. I love your blog, Jackie. That’s why I’ve awarded you The Kreativ Blogger Award. If you’ve already received one, just know I think you deserve another! You can claim it here

  6. The beauty of your story is you understand what you have…. right here and now. Nobody had to leave you for you to get a clear perspective of what you have. I love the description of the sharing that you do – to me that’s how a relationship grows stronger. Follow, allow, grow, connect, share and surrender! Happy anniversary!

  7. What an amazing post – love is so much bigger than what the movies and songs teach us. Realizations like this are the reward we get for walking through the uncomfortability.

    I so admire the depth of your writing and how you document the sign posts for the rest of us to follow.

  8. wow, so much thought comes to mind…
    first off I love the way you paint the images of your life, your love and love in the higher power. Divine Love

    “One of the most beautiful things about Divine love is she does not force herself upon us.”

    I may over use this word but ‘perspective’ plays so much a role in our everyday lives… like the prisoners looking out a window and one see’s the stars and one see’s the mud. We look at our union daily in different ways With different circumstances. The door is made to swing both ways. The ups and downs are mountains and valleys. The one you chose to travel through life with is more than a freind and so many find a foe in their bed after a few short years. Love is a feeling that grows or withers.

    twenty years… awesome (~_~)

    1. You’re so right, Art – how we live our lives is very much based in the lenses we choose to see through. The old cliche’ – glass half full or half empty? And sometimes it doesn’t even matter which we choose to see – only what we DO with what is our reality…even a half empty glass holds potential. ; )

      Love is always whispering to us….we just have to take the time to hear her voice. We’ve found that often the greatest adversities in our relationship bring us even closer together–ONCE we’ve chosen to be open, to let go, to move through the difficult places with honesty. It’s not always easy, but one thing we’ve both always been able to say: I still love you. And that has made all the difference, and been the thread that holds us together.

      Yes. Twenty years is pretty awesome. I can hardly believe it myself. ; ) Love to you. xoxo

I always love to hear your thoughts....xx

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