Quiet Contemplation

Several times I’ve come to this place and begun writing. And each time, the Flow is absent and the words feel forced and pieced together. Can’t say I know yet if this time will be different, only that I will honor whatever comes through.

To take care of a bit of ‘business,’ I’m very happy to share that the kitchen/breakfast area is now PAINTED and BEAUTIFUL! A transformation has taken place in this area of our home, one that has been much needed for some time now. During my time away from blogging and social media, there has been a very acute connection to energy from a variety of perspectives, as well as a deeper realization of just how sensitive we are, and the way in which we honor who we are in the ordering our lives. 

My dear friend Cat recently shared a video of Caroline Myss speaking on being fearless, the power of Grace, our souls, Divine service–one out of a series of 11. As I sat and listened to each one, there was such deep and profound truth that rang clear in my soul. It was a reconnection, a realization and awakening still in process–one that I can feel such longing for. The ache for Divine connection is one that begs to be satisfied, and yet the irony is that there is nothing on this Earth that can rise to the occasion and do so. I don’t have the answers–and I won’t pretend I do. But I do feel a nearly desperate call for something ‘else,’ without any awareness yet of what that is. 

I also heard Suze Orman talking about how we relate to our money. ‘When we don’t want to look at or deal with something in our finances, it’s only representative of what we don’t want to look at or deal with in ourselves.’ I remember learning this to some extent several years ago when reading ‘The Energy of Money.‘ But as I listened to Suze, something inside my being began to shift, to get it, to awaken to this truth in a whole new way. I feel it, I am reminded of it from within myself on a near daily basis. And once again, I don’t have the answers, nor even a clear guidance on what to do with what I feel–and I won’t pretend I do. But I AM listening, alert and at attention. I am observing the hunger as it impacts even how I manage my money….or delay doing so. 

Back to the painting for a moment. As I began with just a few brush strokes–something immediately felt ‘right.’ Remember in that last post–when I DIDN’T paint? Turns out there was something much more universal at work–even more than I was aware of THAT day. I was going to use a lighter shade, so as not to darken the room. I wasn’t in love with the color–and so my love for painting would have been diminished by having to brush on a color that felt empty, boring, without life. Instead, I chose the shade I first loved, but ruled out due to its richness and the concern of it being ‘too much.’ See where I’m going with this, my friends? A mirror–that is actually being realized as I’m typing. This–a new angle I didn’t see before. It’s the same thing I’ve been trying to do to MYSELF–quiet her/me down…work very hard not to be ‘too much.’ Maintain status quo and don’t by any means stand out from the crowd. 

To be honest, I’m exhausted. It’s a bit unnerving, as I’ve done nothing to BE exhausted from–aside from continually exert enough energy to keep Jackie in that damn box. Ugh. I had no idea, truly, this post was going to end up HERE. Perhaps that’s what has kept me from writing…..the internal digestion of my being is hard at work just trying to stay alive in the midst of such treatment. 

As for the No Comfort Zone Challenge–it’s a daily experience for me. And sometimes trying to see and point out just how I’ve done it each week–already exhausting, too. My life is a practice in getting outside my comfort zone, letting truth weave herself into the fibers of who I am. In that series by Caroline Myss, she said something else that sunk deep into my core: You won’t ever heal as long as you are dishonest with yourself. Honesty–especially the kind that we stir about inside ourselves–is sometimes the greatest discomfort there is. And yet, it brings with it such peace, healing, liberation. 

Thank you all for holding space with and for me. I’m a bit behind in reading your posts…..but I do love connecting with the beautiful energies you are, the perspectives and wisdom you share through your own experiences and the honoring of your own and each other’s journey. We all have a story to share. Realizing the sacredness of it begins within ourselves. 

**To those who have honored me with Blogging Awards….I’ve not forgotten and although I have yet to pay forward the loving grace of being so honored in this way, I’m connecting with new sites that are very deserving of such accolades. More to come. xo

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Jacqueline

Inspiring fiery passion through soul connection. Lover, Seducer, Awakener, Firestarter, Visionary. #kissingthesacred

9 thoughts on “Quiet Contemplation”

  1. Marge…your comments always seem to go right to my heart with such loving compassion. Thank you for that. You’ve described exactly what my intention was in beginning this blog a year ago – the ease of just being together – and ESPECIALLY over a cup of tea! You’re an inspiration….I thank you. xoxo

  2. Jackie, again and again your words amaze me. It’s as if I am in the room sitting across from you with a cup of tea and talking, sharing, unloading, questioning, and loving in an unhurried conversation. Thanks so much for putting your thoughts together in words and then out here for all of us to read.

    With love — Marge

  3. Here is the phrase that hit me between my eyes: the way in which we honor who we are in the ordering our lives.

    As someone who is stressed in chaos and always getting ribbed about being OCD – this phrase identifies why order is so important to me…

    Thank you. Hurray on doing the painting…are you like me and always a little surprised when we actually do change ? 🙂

    1. What I’ve actually found for myself, is that of late the ‘ordering’ seems to have infringed on the allowing. We need a measure of it in our lives, and I’m certain some more than others and perhaps more in one period of time than another. Feels like it’s time to let go of some things…..and relax into more quiet and ease.

      I love when reading something and feeling an AHA ‘click.’ Feels like that’s what you felt when you read this. You’re a delight to have along this journey. Thank you for opening yourself to let us see and experience more and more of who you are. xoxo

  4. Oh, how I related to the exhaustion that comes from trying so hard to be something you’re not, or to keep yourself from being something you are 🙂 I imagine that every time you walk into your newly painted rooms, a certain joy wells up from your core…that precious second chakra where we give birth to all that is within us. It may sound odd, but I find myself massaging this area regularly these days.

    Caroline Myss is so wonderful. I haven’t spent much time with her work in the last couple of years, so I definitely want to check out those videos. Anatomy of the Spirit and Sacred Contracts literally changed my life. Did you do your birth chart, with the 12 archetypes? I did mine about 8-9 years ago and experienced such a shift in my thinking..about my life, the people in it, my experiences…that I truly believe that I was never the same again.

    1. ‘To keep yourself from being something you are.’ Who would have thought it? All this time the voice inside of me was all about ‘trying to be something you’re not’ — doing the job of keeping me from being who I AM. How easily we deceive our selves.

      It doesn’t sound strange to me at all that you would massage this area. Oh how I understand. For years, I felt the ache to be pregnant – not because I wanted another child – but because of the fullness felt, the gentle massaging we naturally do when there is life inside us, the prospect of birth that is on her way. I understand this all too well. In some ways, we are such reflections of one another…and I know I’m blessed to have connected with you.

      My birth chart with the 12 archetypes – I’m sorry to say I haven’t done mine. It feels like it becomes so complicated sorting some of them out and then I somehow end up doubting. If you have any insight on what you might intuit, I would love to hear. There are some that I feel very strongly and am certain of. Others seem to overlap one another and it’s difficult to sort out ‘is it this one or that one?’

      Spending time with Caroline in her Mysticism course 7 years ago was a transformation in my life the very likes of what you share. It’s said we experience life in 7 year cycles, and it’s very interesting that this is year 7 since that time. I feel the energies moving and shifting in what feels to be something so significant….that I can then feel myself hesitant to look and try to understand it for fear I’ll make it bigger than it is.

      Oh my, I do find myself getting lost at times when I’m sharing with you. Thank you for ‘going there’ and allowing me to do the same. Thank you for ‘seeing’ me. Much love to you, my soul friend. xoxo

I always love to hear your thoughts....xx

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