And Then What Happened?

It feels as though this is the lingering question inside myself. ‘Now what?’ 

We all feel it, don’t we–that thrill and warmth of deep, intimate connection with the Divine. And then what? What happens when we desperately long for it–but seem unable to ‘find’ it? 

It’s true that the Divine is ALWAYS there. I do *know this. And yet I’m wondering ‘why can’t I feel you?’ The question begs contemplation. If the wind is blowing and I can’t feel it–why not? What stands in the way?

These are the thoughts running through myself of late. Then there are moments I have a crisp clarity, realizing focusing too much on the ‘why not’ removes the possibility of it. 

Just now–those words, ‘crisp clarity’ brought insight. What is my vision? It’s like being a seer who can gaze into a crystal ball and always ‘see’ something. Only….suddenly you can’t….and you’re not sure why. 

What’s the vision? ‘Now what?’ 

These are the places I find myself these days. And perhaps focusing on the void keeps us IN it. 

Writing, opening, sharing–feels wonderful–ALIVE! Yet every time I’ve thought of writing, there’s nothing there…and so I don’t. Thank you Janece for your post touching upon the art of writing–and allowing ourselves to do so: The Write Stuff. Allowing. Surrendering. Here they are, my companions of truth once again. 

So, my friends….what happened next is that she picked herself up, stopped focusing on the emptiness and instead welcomed her vision. The magic begins once again…as I look up to see the Red Headed Woodpecker out back again. He’s been around a lot lately and serves as a reminder to ‘march to the beat of our own drum.’ His red head signifies passion, life force. Time to look inward once again…allow the vision to breathe and begin her rhythmic dance. 

Red Headed Woodpecker in the backyard

And as it all unfolds, the 2012 journey to which I DID commit–‘No Comfort Zone‘–continues to shine her light and move us all forward. xo

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22 thoughts on “And Then What Happened?

  1. Pingback: ‘One Day My Soul Just Opened Up’ | A Heart's Whispers

  2. I long to feel the Divine at all times, not just during meditation or moments of inspiration. As I read your words, I felt the beauty of your soul. Continue writing, you inspire.

    1. Oh how deeply I feel the truth of your words…at all times. Yes. As I’ve read Teresa of Avila’s work it’s what she tried to describe to us, as did all the mystics in their own way. We cannot always be full in the brilliant light of the Divine…and it feels as though the more intimately we experience that energy, the greater the space left in the absence of being able to do so. Yet, the more I’m reading comments, allowing the space within myself and digesting all of what is true, the more I’m realizing how much lives within the void. It only bears the illusion of emptiness. Thank you for your comment…much love my friend. xo

  3. Did you ever play pass the parcel at kids parties? Where you unwrap a layer at a time of paper/newspaper when the music stops and you’re holding the parcel. Some layers there were sweets/candy or small toys… others there was nothing. That expectation you had when you opened it up and there was nothing, that moment where you realise there is nothing to ‘find’, even then you might doubt and keep looking, shaking the paper, looking under your legs to see if you missed it. Sometimes, between the layers there just are spaces. The now what? question- when the next layer comes off, there might be something there. Perhaps it’s teaching patience or just holding space authentically as you are. Everything is a blessing, eventually, as you *know. I love you ❤ http://youtu.be/vROU_N-FYdY

    1. Yes! Although I never did play that game, beautiful Anna, you’ve captured the energy perfectly! There might be something there – and even when it’s nothing – there IS something there. Only not the something we EXPECTED. Thank you for this…I love you…and look forward to seeing you here in Atlanta soon. xoxoxo

    1. Thank you for this message…I feel your warmth and I too have missed the blogging community and friends here. It seems that although we may not see one another, our hearts use that as food to fuel the fire of connection. Much love to you. xo

      1. SMILE MY SWEET XO
        YOU ARE SOOOOO LOVED ..
        HOW COULD ANYONE
        NOT BE …………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        GRACE GRACE GRACE …………………

        I READ THIS BEAUTIFUL QUOTE THIS MORNING ———
        MADE ME SMILE AND NOD YES 🙂

        Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
        – Og Mandino

        YOU KNOW THAT SITE “WISDOM COMMONS ”
        I GET THE DAILY QUOTE FROM THERE EACH MORNING ………
        SOMETIMES I JUST SHAKE MY HEAD AND GO HUH ?
        BUT SOMETIMES THEY DO MAKE SENSE ……..
        LOVE YOU MUCHLY XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

        1. SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR NOTES ALWAYS JUST MAKE MY ENTIRE BEING LIGHT UP.
          JUST THIS STATEMENT: ‘YOU ARE SOOOOO LOVED.’ ENOUGH TO STIR THE DEPTHS OF ONE’S BEING.

          LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THE QUOTE YOU SHARED! I FEEL IT. SO VERY TRUE.
          SENDING YOU ALL MY LOVE…GRATITUDE. MAY YOU FEEL SO LOVED TODAY. XOXOXOXOXOXO

          1. YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO LOVED !!!! WILL SAY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN …..
            WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RIPENING FOUR MONTHS OF 2012 SO FAR ……..
            ISN’T IT INCREDIBLE ……
            I BELIEVE MORE AND MORE
            I HOPE MORE AND MORE
            I LOVE MORE AND MORE
            AND ULTIMATELY
            MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT WILL IMPLODE IF I DON’T CREATE …….
            SO GLAD TO SEE YOU SMILING .
            I GOT MY GIANT SCREEN COMPUTER FROM CNIB – AM USING IT RIGHT NOW ….
            WHAT A BLESSING ….. I CAN NOW MAGNIFY MAGNIFY MAGNIFY JUST A TAD MORE ……
            AND YOU KNOW WHAT ……
            WOW /////
            AND NOW – I FEEL ALL LIMITATIONS ARE GONE .- NOT BECAUSE OF A GIANT SCREEN . BUT BECAUSE I HAVE CAUGHT A SIMPLE GLIMPSE ….. OF WHAT I HAD BEEN MISSING ——– BUT REALLY TRULY ….. ALL THE EYE STUFF FALLS – IS DROPPED ……. ANOTHER LET GO …..
            I KNOW NOW WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO …..
            MORE THAN EVER ……
            THAT’S JUST TO BE ME – TO THE FULLEST OF MY ABILITIES …..
            I AM VERY GRATEFUL AND HUMBLED OF WHAT I DO SEE …….
            AND OH MY GOD …..
            WHAT I CAN DO – !!!!
            GRACE LIVES INSIDE THE HEART AND WILL NEVER EVER GO AWAY ……
            I KNOW IT …….
            THE BEST IS YET TO COME ……….

            I LOVE YOU JACKIE ……
            SENDING YOU GINOURMOUS HUGS ……
            FOR ALL YOU DO
            HOW YOU LIFT
            HOW YOU LOVE
            AND HOW OPEN YOU ALLOW ME TO BE XO
            GODBLESS
            XX
            AND GODSPEED ….
            CAT

          2. OH CAT –

            I’M SO HAPPY YOU HAVE YOUR NEW SCREEN…AND THE JOY OF WHAT YOU CAN SEE
            MAKES ME FEEL SUCH JOY FOR YOU!
            I KNOW YOU ALREADY SAW TRUTH, BEAUTY, LOVE, GRACE….
            IMAGINE ALL THAT WILL FLOW FROM YOUR BEAUTIFUL HEART NOW!

            I UNDERSTAND THE FEELING – IMPLOSION FROM LACK OF CREATING.
            WE ARE MADE TO BE CREATIVE, TO EXPRESS, TO ALLOW, TO OPEN, RECEIVE, GIVE.

            THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE…
            WE BRING PERMISSION TO ONE ANOTHER
            TO BE AUTHENTIC.

            LOVE YOU. XO
            J

          3. WE DO ……
            TRUTH BE TOLD …..
            THIS MAC IS A MAGNIFYING GLASS
            IT’S UNBELIEVABLE …..
            PS====
            YOU ARE SO LOVED …..
            AND ONE DAY – WHEN YOU AND GEORGE VISIT CANADA ——
            🙂 MAYBE ? 🙂 HEY ! THAT WOULD BE FUN ….
            I HAVEN’T BEEN TO THE STATES SINCE ARIZONA …..

            WHAT DREAMS MAY COME BEAUTIFUL ROSE ….
            XX
            TULIP !!!!XX

  4. It’s funny, our natural inclination to resist emptiness….to resist “no-thing”. It’s that pause between breathes, the space between heartbeats. Will there be another? Was this the last one? 🙂

    I feel very blessed that you found some encouragement in my post. Just goes to prove how full those empty spaces might actually be, I guess. You have a wellspring inside of you that’s springing up.

    LOVE your birdie. Just LOVE him! They’re sacred to Ares’, God of War. So wonderful to have that reminder to flow with the natural rhythm of our own souls….

    1. He’s quite gorgeous isn’t he? The day I took this photo recently, there were two frolicking up and down a tree in the yard. Seems as though he’s been around ever since. And I believe there is some form of crossover between a Mourning Dove & Red Headed Woodpecker that was here last year and appeared again this spring. Keeping my eye out…as I’m quite intrigued with this sweet little bird. In any case, the one in the photo always makes me smile with his brilliant beauty and red head.

      Yes, you’re so right – those empty spaces are full. Haven’t really thought of it like that. It was your comment that day on my post that really began to consciously unravel things, I’m sure you realize this by now. I’m so grateful, for otherwise I would be continuing to live in the container of my own undoing without ever realizing it. You are a true friend who will speak her truth. A gift we too often forget to appreciate. So glad you’re back ‘sowing your seeds’ with the Wild Pomegranate.

      Much love to you, my dear friend. xoxo

      1. Yeah, I do remember that day. I remember making a conscious decision to go ahead and write my comment knowing it was – on some level – It might hurt you or offend you or leave you thinking, WTF was that? But on a deeper level, I knew what God was up to. I wanted to “obey” the message, even though the chances of the messenger being shot – or misunderstood – were pretty good. But what gave me the courage was being reminded that Spirit is not only the Healer, but the Great Physician. Sometimes the pathway to healing *hurts*, as anyone who’s had to have a bone reset or a surgery of some kind knows. Even childbirth hurts – one of the greatest joys in our lives. But it’s not a permanent hurt.

        One of the greatest gifts I’ve been given have been teachers that didn’t stroke my ego but gave it to me straight. They spoke to my soul. My spirit. I didn’t always like was she said (and later he said), but there were life altering “Aha!” moments as a result, and my life changed for the better. And I’m very happy about that 🙂

        Thank you for seeing me. Much love to you, too. xox

        1. Dearest Janece – I am SO grateful you followed the guidance. I was thinking of the same truth you share just this morning as we removed some very overgrown evergreen shrubs from the front of the house. As my husband cut them at the base, they were pink in the very center of the ‘trunk.’ It made my heart hurt for a moment, thinking that we had just stopped the Life from flowing through these bits of Nature. I even felt a tinge of guilt. But I also knew it was really what was best. We did put in the effort to trim and streamline, and really this change was much needed energetically as well. It took me to the reality of change and growth sometimes coming with pain–as you said. I keep seeing people in my circles sharing about the energetic currents that are happening in synchronicity…and I can’t help but feel it’s strong with you and I just now.

          YOU are a great gift in my life – your willingness to speak truth, to say it like it is, to be the blessing and courage of soul truth. I’m open to it. I want it. The sting always heals…and it wouldn’t sting so much unless there was great potential for growth contained within. xoxo

  5. I think of these times as a time to just be and allow the Divine to enter into that space of nothingness in which I find myself. Sometimes I strive too hard. The other day I had a vision of opening my heart up for the Divine to enter. Of course, my heart is not big enough to hold all that She is and so I became absorbed into her own heart and so it is that God and I are one!

    1. Joss – that feels just right. I could feel within myself as I was typing and reflecting that sense of trying too hard. Only it’s more of trying too hard to understand it, to figure out how such intensity of connection can be followed with a chasm of emptiness. There is no understanding. It just is. And it all has purpose. Focusing on the ‘why’ or ‘how’ doesn’t change the truth of it. That’s what I was really feeling as I began to write…although some other pieces popped in once I got going.

      I so understand your last sentence…and experienced something almost identical not so long ago. There is such light, warmth, connection in that space. I believe we seek to recreate it from human efforts–which is impossible. Surrender. Again. Surrender. Thank you, dear friend for the beauty you shine and ARE. xoxo

I always love to hear your thoughts....xx

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