Something happens when we allow ourselves to be in a space of healing, surrender and honesty with the truth that lives beneath the surface. There can be a great darkness…and yet, the light is always present. As we practice the art of allowing without becoming attached to feelings and perceptions, streams of radiance begin to shine through. At first, there are only glimpses, as the emotions that arise can be overwhelming. But as we continue to be honest, to be true to the space we’re in, it’s almost as though there is a sudden moment when the light pervades over even the darkest and most subtle shadows.
It was a contemplative process determining just how to write this post and what to focus on: good karma, angelic presence or the showering of Grace? All three have played a role in the shift I’m feeling, and so all three will have a place in this sharing.
Angelic presence….when my 19 year old daughter was hit head on Monday evening and walked away unharmed aside from bumps and bruises. It feels to me that people toss around connection to the ‘angels’ all too easily, not really in tune with what that can mean. So I’ve held back my own effort to bring angels into my life on a regular basis. Yes, of course I believe in them…but to say things like ‘the angels protected me’ or ‘angels are all around us’ – hasn’t felt real enough to own as my truth.
These last few months, however, it seems they WANT me to sense them, to call on them, to feel them. So when Lauren was indeed protected from what could have been a devastating accident–well, the skeptic has to take a back seat. Not only was she not seriously hurt, she was also flanked by people who took care of her during the 45 minutes it took us to get to where she was. I prayed the whole ride. And guess what? I asked the angels to surround her. They not only heard me, they responded without delay.
This bit requires a short back story: we purchased two vehicles just three weeks ago – one for Lauren and one for our other daughter. The search to find a car for each wasn’t easy, as teenage budgets can only support so much. Just as it was getting frustrating and discouraging–we came across not one but TWO perfect cars–both through our mechanic. Trusted, reliable, affordable. Perfect. Bought them both after a test drive and we were good to go. During this process, I got to know Mary the receptionist at the mechanic’s shop a little bit. She knew what we’d been through to find a car, and understood what a blessing it was when these two appeared seemingly ‘out of nowhere.’ She shared our devastation when I called to let them know Lauren’s car had been totaled in the crash.
What happened next just continues the miracle. The accident was Monday night. Tuesday morning Lauren made a post on her Facebook page about being in search of a new car. Only ONE person replied. Someone who knows Lauren very well and just thinks the world of her. A Volvo isn’t the ‘ideal’ college student vehicle, and yet once again – a trusted, reliable and affordable car was available with perfect timing. We went yesterday to drive it – and ended up buying the car.
In a conversation with Mary I shared our story. She was in awe and said something about my aura (we’ve never talked on a spiritual level) and then ‘you have some really good karma.’ The weight and truth of her statement hit me. I do! I’m a firm believer that every situation is filled with purpose and every challenge offers something positive to us. We can always ‘recover’ and often we are gifted in some way with more than what we had initially. Lauren’s car accident was a horrible experience in the moment, but aside from some panic, pain and rushing around, the outcome has been incredibly positive. Hearing Mary say these words seemed to shake me out of the melancholy I’ve been feeling. It was like a bit of light shining through….a sweet reminder from the Universe that All is Well. One that I could actually FEEL!!
Grace…all of this is the sweet flow of grace. I know it and I feel it to be so. Last week I ordered two books connected with St. Teresa of Avila. It’s her teachings that led me to Caroline Myss and a class on Mysticism. In that space I learned of the power, presence, compassion and sacredness of Grace. She has been with us all this time. I know she held me as I struggled to find my grounding. Even when I can’t feel her, I know the vision of her essence wrapped around me is real.
I’m grateful for all we’ve been through this week. For the bond between parents and their children. For the ability to take care of Lauren as she gets back on her feet. For the abundance in our life that allows us to provide. For the Grace that awakens us from the deepest slumber of our spirits. For the gift it is to be me.