Sexy. Evokes an array of images doesn’t it? We each have our own perception of what is sexy. It can be anything from a ripe, juicy peach to a wild, erotic experience to a mother who glows while breastfeeding her baby. The general misconception is that sexy is only about a hot body, a sexual position or experience, a scantily clad male or female or something similar.
I’m speaking as a woman who knows she has sex appeal, and I’m going to share what I’ve learned thus far about ‘sexy.’ It isn’t about what you wear or say or do. It isn’t about who your lover is or how good you are in bed. It isn’t about the size of your breasts, the sway or your hips, whether or not you have a six pack that glistens with your shirt off. It isn’t about enticing or seducing others with your ‘ways.’ All of these things can certainly be sexy, but they are not what sexy is. I’ve played with them all and been left disappointed when ‘sexy’ didn’t shine through.
We can’t make ourselves over into sexy. Sexy comes from the inside out, true essence of what it is to be sexy, which is very different from what our culture has come to hold as true. What’s sexy is a woman who loves her own body and isn’t afraid to walk, love and breathe through its senses. What’s sexy is a man who knows how to adore a woman, how to see and hold her sacred as the goddess she is. What’s sexy is a man who can feel his own heart beat, tune in to what he finds there and in his own unique strength and masculinity, let love seduce him. What’s sexy is a woman who understands the nature of her man, becoming his respite from all that he takes on his own world, letting him fall into her whether he knows he needs it or not. And all of this is true between men as lovers together, and women loving women. There are no exclusions to what is love, to what is sacred, to what is sexy.
We’ve limited sex appeal to something that is about flaunting our bodies, our sexuality. In truth it comes through letting our true selves be seen. For some, for me, that is very much present in my body, through my body. For others, it’s in the strength of their hearts, their passion for what they believe in with all of who they are. Sexy doesn’t come when we force it through. It comes when we surrender into what is calling to us, being with what is real, true, pulsing in this very moment. Sexy is a language all its own, a language of heart and soul; and when you feel it being spoken to or through you, there is a beautiful, hot, potent sensation that overcomes your being. A seduction of the senses takes over and guides you into your own wild truth.
As with each of us, sexy comes in all forms, in its own distinct fragrance and presence. Allowing it to consume you as it builds from within – that is sexy. It’s time to sink beyond the outer representations and deeper into the fiery heart space. That’s where our juice lives, where our unraveling begins and continues, revealing more and more of who we truly are. That, my friends, is how we are bringing sexy back – through the sacred, burning heart.