While walking through our neighborhood a few evenings ago, my love paused for a moment to wrap his arms around me, even sensually cupping my behind. I felt my whole self light up with his touch, with the energy of his wanting, and his ‘small’ gesture stirred a sense of truth within: I highly value being a wanted woman.
Perhaps I’ve known that’s true for a very long time, only I’m not sure I’ve always had an acceptance or carried the beauty of understanding it within myself. There are innuendos attached to such a statement. Judgments around our (lack of) self esteem, our wounds, our need to be recognized, seen, loved. Residues of those notions still plague me a bit, but the ferocity and deep power of the feeling in that statement stayed with me, leaving me to ponder more intimately just what it meant.
A wanted woman. As I feel into that phrase, connect to the essence of who she is, I can sense this goes beyond simply being desired. The energy of what I feel is of being a woman who is cherished, honored, loved for who she is. She is worthy of being so loved and esteemed simply because she breathes. We’ve lost touch with allowing ourselves to feel this so fully, suppressing our desire to be honored in this way, especially when it relates to physical presence.
There was a time in our history when women were so honored for our beauty, our love, our wisdom and holiness. For many women, that love was felt through the worship of our bodies. I believe that time is present once again and part of its power is for us to claim it in ourselves. For me, allowing this statement to remain in my awareness is part of how I do that. One of my initial responses when the moment had passed was to feel old stories creeping in, to hear the voices of others who may not understand or honor this sensation of what it is to be woman–to be me as a woman. Giving the notion of valuing myself as a wanted woman room to remain in my contemplation as well as sharing it with you here are both part of my own internal release of what is no longer true – for myself and for all woman who relate.
I don’t believe this hunger is exclusive to just women. Our men, lovers, children bask in the glow of our honored loving. We crave the sensation of being held in the highest regard on every level. There is a vulnerability required to let ourselves feel the aching, to give ourselves space to express our need to be loved and seen fully. Perhaps it’s the vulnerability that keeps us from feeling it to its depths – both the desire to be so cherished as well as our ability to love another in this way.
I’m curious if you feel its truth within your being. As you read the statement ‘I highly value being a wanted woman’ what is the response it evokes in your being? Can you connect to the beauty of who you are, to the desire you have within to be loved and held sacred by those you hold close in your heart?
This is part of the suffering we impart upon ourselves – denial of our inner truth. Such seemingly small statements can turn our world inside out, drawing us deeper into the raw and intimate places of what we have kept safely hidden. The tide has turned and we are no longer in the shadows of our truth, our expression, our hunger and desire. The fear to let it breathe remains, and we alone hold the power to bare its naked presence and feel from within the dissolution of what is old. As we do this more and more, the old breaks away and we find ourselves in a new and powerful relation to ourselves.
I am a wanted woman. Loved, cherished, held sacred. The more I understand and allow this to be present in myself, the more I can receive and experience it with others. It’s been easy to give the love and honoring to others. A raw allowing is required to feel it within and for ourselves. I choose that. xx