I was talking recently with a love of mine about my writing, specifically this next book I’m working on and its relationship to sexuality. With a gentle spirit, she suggested that perhaps I try writing from a place that isn’t about sexuality, so as not to ‘scare people’ away with that discussion. Although my initial response was to refute her words, to sink deep into the sensual and sexual nature I have labored so long and hard to fully liberate and claim as my own – I instead took pause and pondered her thoughts.
It leaves me with this: Does your sexuality scare you? Does mine? Are we still in a state of fearing ourselves, our expression, our gift to sense and connect on such intimate levels?
I feel there is so much more to ‘sexuality’ than what we know in our modern language or dictionaries. Look into any source of our time and it has to do with intercourse, with the physical body only. I wonder though – is that it?
My entire being responds with so much more. Contemplating the ancient wisdom and truths long before shame and guilt tainted our vocabulary, our bodies, our minds – it feels our sexuality is deeply connected with the very core and essence of who we are.
‘Sexuality’ has an entirely different sensation when felt through the heart. Our hunger to be sexually intimate comes from the heart, although it may be continually felt in the body – the call is of the heart. Our heart is our greatest power center. What rings true in that space is what moves us through life.
Feel the presence of your own sexuality – on every level. It comes as an awakening through the body. An increase in heartbeat, indicating increase in heart presence – if we allow it. The ancient temple priestess (also known in our time as the sacred prostitute) was the sexual, erotic, physical channel and manifestation of the Goddess. What did sexuality feel like in her body and being?
An expression of her holiness, of how she feels her self, her lover, her heart and this world. An expression of her heart’s love affair with the Beloved – the Divine.
Sexuality is a sacred language of love in its purest form. It feels like a continual wave of warmth, of renewal and awakening in her body, her cells, her core, her soul. She became filled with the juice that is the ‘blood’ of our knowing, our sensing. This is the blood – the Life Force and flow of our journey, our existence and expression. It contains life, death, rebirth. It holds the powers of healing, creating, awakening, unifying. All of this is our sexuality, only we haven’t known this expression, this vocabulary of the ancient Goddess.
Our sexuality is so much a part of our expression as human beings. How does one untangle it from all we are? To separate ourselves from our sexuality, to be frightened of its conversation, Life Force and presence is to fear who we truly are.
I sense this is only the start of a very lengthy conversation. There is so much more we have yet to explore and discover in our nature, in our sexuality as an expression of who we are.