Holding Space With the Sacred

It’s a funny thing, this world of ‘blogging.’ Doesn’t even sound right: blogging. So often when I’m walking or driving I find myself dictating posts in my mind, sharing with you so many things that amaze and inspire me. There are AHA! moments and wonders of this beautiful planet we inhabit; thoughts about what is and perhaps what might be. And yet, I sit to write and all those thoughts drift away leaving me to turn inward and seek the words waiting to be whispered. 

Today let me begin with THANK YOU. Thank you for taking the time to read my writing, to share your thoughts, to engage on the conscious level required to live authentically. Thank you for walking by my side as I explore the ‘good, the bad and the ugly.’ Thank you for your willingness to take this journey through the waves of emotion and uncertainty that accompany living our truth. Thank you. Whether you move silently with me or stop to post a comment and let your own voice be heard–we have a community of connection here in this space, for which I am deeply grateful. 

‘Inner Self’ by Elena Ray

It’s like prayer, I realize. We don’t have to get down on our knees and fold our hands, we don’t have to sit in yoga poses. We simply have to be, to allow, to ask, to receive. It’s quiet, subtle. The movement at times is like the crescendo of a symphony, and others sleek as the moon shining into the darkness. It’s always happening, though. Whether we are aware of it or not. The energy, the power, pulsating beneath what we see with our human eyes or ‘know’ in the recesses of our human mind. There is, however  a much deeper intelligence that senses it, craving its Presence, waiting for the very radiance of its Light to break through even our darkest moments. 

Finally (!) it feels as though the darkness has eased and broken for me. I can’t say I know when such a state has come upon me in the last several years. Surely we all go into this space? Unknowing, clear in our thoughts yet so muddled in our emotions. Unable to grasp anything that bonds us to the Divine even while we desperately ache to make the connection. And in truth, my friends, the stark reality is there’s not really a damn thing we can do to change it. Our tools are prayer, awareness and perhaps most of all a spirit of allowing. We cannot make sense of it through accessing the mind and all the training and knowledge we’ve accumulated thus far. The option that lies before us is to ask for help, to surrender into the gentle Flow and allow IT to move US. In some way, we are powerless. 

But that’s not true on the level of our souls, either. While we are powerless to control the emotional disconnect of it all, we are always able to choose how we will respond to whatever it is we may encounter. Seems we’ve been raised to believe that if something doesn’t feel right–well, you just do this or that and it will be better. Oh, no loved ones–this is not the dialogue of our souls. Our power there lies in trust, faith, openness. Always, always there is purpose. Always, always we are held in the arms of the Divine. Even when we cannot feel it, we are given the choice to trust. Trust we are loved. Trust the Divine is there, even when we feel separate. 

Words struggle to convey this truth. It seems so simple, and yet while in the midst of it, there is great angst soothed only by the comfort of prayer and faith. How strange for ME to lean on these two, for after the tumultuous experience with religion in my teens, I cast off all connotations to my childhood faith. They hold a different energy for me today than they did then, and yet I can see the delight my soul took in being One with the sacred even then. Ah, but that’s a story for another day. 

For today, remember this sacred truth: there is purpose in every moment. Every word is our prayer. And we are always held in the arms of Grace. It feels like a trinity of truths…holding space with the sacred…..if we choose. 


Mystic Without a Monastery

Yesterday’s post left me wanting….to say more, to share more, to open those spaces that live so deep inside ourselves we live in too much fear of what might happen when we open them up. Time was short, I felt I had much to say, and while in the middle of writing I realized I was touching upon bits and pieces that truly were an entire sharing of their own. It’s one of those times when it felt as though many threads were lined up waiting for their turn to be woven into the written story, only to find themselves all jumbled up into one great ball of ‘stuff.’

I’m not sure just where to go from there, how to unwind it all, approaching each piece as its own even while maintaining some semblance of Flow. So that’s it, isn’t it? Flow. Let go of trying to make sense of it all and allow IT to move ME. Become as the reed that moves with the wind or downstream with the river’s currents, and allow myself to become One with the Flow.

It was an odd thing to share some of the intimacy of my own sacred connection. And yet, what you cannot realize is how much the discomfort has loosened since it began to really push its way into my expression earlier this year. I believe we fear it somehow–the intensity of communing with the Divine. To me it feels like it would be okay if I were a nun in a convent somewhere, safe–normal, part of everyone else who felt the way I did. It would be natural there, then wouldn’t it? Acceptable, expected. But out here in this world, to love so deeply, to desire so profoundly to be merged with a Presence that calms every cell in our being–well, that just feels a little bit strange to be sharing ‘out loud.’ But what I’m sensing is that more and more of us are experiencing this aching sensation. We are answering the call to listen to the longing that comes from within.

From the very first time I heard of St. Teresa of Avila I was drawn to her. Something about her deep love of her Beloved, her ecstatic experiences of becoming one in ways we don’t speak of in our world resonated. It happened years before when watching Agnes of God. Agnes wasn’t afraid or embarrassed to say how much she loved God, even as she was inexplicably pregnant with His child. Her energy, the vulnerability with which she expressed her deep desire to be one with the Divine spoke to me even though I would have been just 14 years old. What does one do with such devotion?

I find myself again feeling many posts on this topic and perhaps a little jumbled as the words rush forward all at once, and to me it feels as though I’ve opened a dialogue that has been anxiously waiting to begin. What happens to us when we carry such deep, deep longing for intimate connection with the Beloved? How do we come to reconcile that in our lives, and what are the substitutes that fill the void? This very question has framed so much of my own journey, without my even being aware of it even while it happened.

I believe many of us carry the ache in our souls, but not everyone feels it in the same way. Different energies accompany us on our way, determining just how we play out our purpose on this planet. There’s much I’d like to explore on this topic, and I hope you’ll take the journey with me and share your own experience. For those of us who feel the profound longing, we are in today’s world ‘mystics without monasteries’ in the words of Caroline Myss. We are living in a time when the energy of the mystic is needed in the everyday places of our world, in our families, with our friends, our workplaces, around the globe and in our own homes. It’s time to let the voices be heard, to live it out loud. THIS is our time. Time to allow the Beloved to be seen, felt and heard through us, as us, ONE with us. The merging has begun. And I pray for clarity and eloquence as we continue the dialogue together.