Becoming Love’s Void

She ebbs and flows ~ deeply, gently, fluently in and out of our heartspace. Her presence draws us further still into the blackened and intense depths of what it is to love, to be loved, to become her very essence. We are meant to give ourselves completely to her, and yet every barrier we have constructed through time and space gives us pause.

Love is a word too easily used in our language. We forget, sometimes, to feel her stirring us into remembering, into becoming spread wide open to receive her, penetrated to the core by her unraveling essence. But when we do, in those glimpses of time where She is ruler of all we think and feel and speak, in the moments we find ourselves lost to the impulses we can no longer hold back – in those beautiful, ecstatic, glorious moments we find ourselves catapulted into another reality, a very different way of being.

It seems all too often the human response is to pull back. Certainly because beneath our layers there breathes a programmed fear of Love’s pure and potent Life Force. Also, I believe, because we fear the void of her absence. In her continual ebb and flow there are spaces in which we feel she has left us–naked, alone, bewildered at the chasm she leaves in her wake. We sink into a state of wondering how we could have soared so high only to seemingly fall so quickly and with such great force.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi 

love

What we are still remembering is She is not only the burning, stirring, blissful state of passion and expression. Love remains present in the void. In fact – She IS the void. She pulls us close as we enter into that seeming state of emptiness, of lack, of loneliness that leaves us longing for her return yet again. She is there, ever so gently rocking us, caressing and kissing our most tender places and remembering us into opening to her once again.

What is true, my friends, is Love is the very power of unbecoming. She breaks us wide open, pouring the dripping honey of her warmth into every barren crack and dry crevice. And even in the quiet, the stillness and illusory absence of her – she is there, stroking, breathing, loving us into yielding to her embrace.

So many of us have this rhythmic relationship with Love, unaware still of just how present and masterful she truly is. We’re unaccustomed to her subtle tones, the ones that beckon us to come into her, to surrender fully to her, even in those places we keep most protected for fear they become broken open and bleeding yet again.

Become her void. In the space where there is the sensation of love’s absence, call to her, giving all you are, all you have to the offering of your shared intercourse. She waits for you too, longing to feel you, to be given all the room she needs to inhabit your heart and movement in total. This is her deepest desire – to become one with you, to sensually move together through each ebb and flow. Let her come and devour you, satiating her hunger and yours in whatever way she will.

Sexuality is a Sacred Language

I was talking recently with a love of mine about my writing, specifically this next book I’m working on and its relationship to sexuality. With a gentle spirit, she suggested that perhaps I try writing from a place that isn’t about sexuality, so as not to ‘scare people’ away with that discussion. Although my initial response was to refute her words, to sink deep into the sensual and sexual nature I have labored so long and hard to fully liberate and claim as my own – I instead took pause and pondered her thoughts.

It leaves me with this: Does your sexuality scare you? Does mine? Are we still in a state of fearing ourselves, our expression, our gift to sense and connect on such intimate levels?

I feel there is so much more to ‘sexuality’ than what we know in our modern language or dictionaries. Look into any source of our time and it has to do with intercourse, with the physical body only. I wonder though – is that it?

sensual woman

My entire being responds with so much more. Contemplating the ancient wisdom and truths long before shame and guilt tainted our vocabulary, our bodies, our minds – it feels our sexuality is deeply connected with the very core and essence of who we are.

‘Sexuality’ has an entirely different sensation when felt through the heart. Our hunger to be sexually intimate comes from the heart, although it may be continually felt in the body – the call is of the heart. Our heart is our greatest power center. What rings true in that space is what moves us through life.

Feel the presence of your own sexuality – on every level. It comes as an awakening through the body. An increase in heartbeat, indicating increase in heart presence – if we allow it. The ancient temple priestess (also known in our time as the sacred prostitute) was the sexual, erotic, physical channel and manifestation of the Goddess. What did sexuality feel like in her body and being?

An expression of her holiness, of how she feels her self, her lover, her heart and this world. An expression of her heart’s love affair with the Beloved – the Divine. 

Sexuality is a sacred language of love in its purest form. It feels like a continual wave of warmth, of renewal and awakening in her body, her cells, her core, her soul. She became filled with the juice that is the ‘blood’ of our knowing, our sensing. This is the blood – the Life Force and flow of our journey, our existence and expression. It contains life, death, rebirth. It holds the powers of healing, creating, awakening, unifying. All of this is our sexuality, only we haven’t known this expression, this vocabulary of the ancient Goddess.

Our sexuality is so much a part of our expression as human beings. How does one untangle it from all we are? To separate ourselves from our sexuality, to be frightened of its conversation, Life Force and presence is to fear who we truly are.

I sense this is only the start of a very lengthy conversation. There is so much more we have yet to explore and discover in our nature, in our sexuality as an expression of who we are.

 

My Body is a Prayer

My body is a prayer
Uttered, whispered
In deep moans of pleasure
With sighs of ecstasy

She is Holiest of Holies
Sacred temple space
Innermost chalice
Bearing crimson wine

My body is a prayer
Heart beating
In rhythm to All That Is
Pulse ripened
In her own unbecoming

Promised in the kiss of her lips
Cradled in the arms of her embrace
Nestled in the crevice of her legs
Infused in the ambrosia of her nectar

Voice of the Divine
Goddess in the flesh
Aphrodite glistening
Through lush feminine folds

My body is a prayer
Ever present lovemaking
To all breath of Life
Broken open, fully bared
By thrusts of holy Love

body prayer silverwitch

With equal measure
She inhales
And exhales
Beauty of her Presence

My body is a prayer
Consumed in continual reverence
Caressed by the taste of Eros
Penetrated fully
By the heated flow of Grace

My body is a prayer
Offering herself
Again and again
To her Beloved

 

 

Chaotic Holy Love

Ecstasy. Rich, full-bodied. I’m in it.

I sat on our bed talking with my husband about this book – THIS BOOK in which I am a contributing author. Omnipresent: The Sacred Feminine Balance. I’ve dreamed of this for many years, and it’s quite a sensation to realize there is a portal here. A portal of such deep and holy self awareness and appreciation. The majesty of which is an expanded view of all life in such a way and a powerful connection to its reverent pulse.

We talked about the book – about him wanting to read my words in it – and then he left the room for a few moments. I flipped through its pages and it very naturally rested on page 58, where I found these words:

Book - Sacred Heart crop

Emotion stirred in me – because I am this. Within my lovely feminine chest lies the Sacred Heart. These words reflect my truth. These words – are my words. The book itself had brought me to them, here – in print. My breath paused a moment, I’m certain of it – because I could have been reading another woman’s dialogue considering the impact it left on me. There’s a humbling alongside an internal celebration of oneself when we see our reflection so beautifully clear. Magic enfolded and cradled me yet again.

Every day is meant to leave us in awe in some way. It’s there for us, always. If we just say yes, we’ll have some glimpse of it. There are days that mystery will lift us in its arms and fly us high into the heavens of bliss. And there are days we’ll recognize its chaotic work and remember we still are intertwined. These are my days. And this, my loves, this is my book, shared with these incredible female authors. These are our truths, our loves, our stories and grace shared in our own words.

omnipresent_400

If you’d like to order a copy of Omnipresent in either Kindle or print version, I’ve provided this link for you to do so here.

 

 

Captivating Beauty

It seems for women especially the mere mention of ‘beauty’ carries so many triggers. We move through times of believing it doesn’t or shouldn’t matter at all. In other moments it feels to be what matters the most. Upon seeing our reflection in the mirror we sometimes believe the physical beauty of ourselves is the total sum of our value. And there are occasions when we catch a glimpse of our reflection and sink deep into the essence of our true beauty, understanding and seeing at once how it glimmers through our skin to reveal the most intimate and sacred parts of who we are.

‘Beauty’ and the desire for it, the nurturing of it has for many women become a dirty word. I wonder how this relates for our male counterparts? How does beauty compute in the interior of the man’s sensual nature?

I myself shunned my own physical beauty in its entirety for several years. There were very real and painful life circumstances that led me to such total feminine abandonment of myself, and yet I believed it to be the most kind thing I could do. Interestingly, even as I share this conversation with you now I can hear some of the old rumblings that lead women to feeling guilt and shame over the ways we love and adorn ourselves.

Beauty quote

There’s a natural desire to feel our full feminine sensuality. We do so through the feel of the clothes we choose to place against our skin. Through the fragrances we allow to seep into and through our pores. We each carry our own natural, very sweet scent for those who are close enough to breathe us in deeply. Our hair is for many of us an expression and carrier of our soul’s magic. The colors and styles we wear serve as indicators of our inner truth, our present mood and as a statement of how we engage this world.

With all the rage against the very overstated beauty industry, we have perhaps forgotten the nuance of what our true beauty is. It’s not merely on the inside as so many would have us to believe. When we pause and truly take in the essence of a woman, allowing that in fact her appearance–the ways in which she presents and holds herself–is an exterior, visual statement of her inner essence, we gain a pure sense of her true beauty. For beauty flows through her pores, spilling over into the outer layer of her human body. Beauty, dear loves, is not merely ‘spiritual,’ but very, very physical as well.

It’s in our natural programming to become drawn to beauty in all her forms. Yes, we each have our own unique taste and desire when it comes to our attractions, but it remains true we all carry and respond to the allure of beauty herself.

It took a few years for me to feel her nudging once again, to welcome beauty into my life beyond the esoteric and yes, very ‘safe’ manifestation of her presence. The more I saw and felt my true self, the more I remembered who I am and invited the sensation of all the beauty that is me. We do great harm to our being when we lock beauty into one way of walking in this world. It would do us well to become unraveled in her presence, to expand and petition Beauty herself to penetrate our senses, announcing her arrival and desire to be seen, felt and heard on every level of all we are. I sense she has much to arouse in us yet.

 

Illness is my Lover

I’m a woman who demands her lovers. They’re a necessary part of my life and have been for as long as I can remember. I crave and thrive upon the sensual stirrings, the intimacy, the deep connection to something that is greater than anything else this life has to offer. So imagine my surprise recently when illness began her sultry seduction.

We’re attuned to illness being something to ‘get rid off.’ During the two weeks I laid quietly and gently on the couch, there were some who shared their thoughts of what ‘to take’ or how to ‘get better.’ Only – I wasn’t trying to get better. Just a day or two in to the emptiness I felt in my body, I opted to give myself fully to the fatigue and congestion. Each time my mind wanted to mourn the discomfort or wonder just how long we would have to do this, I returned to a state of surrender to this place of rest, of nothingness, of stillness and separation from all that exists in the ‘real world.’ I gave myself full permission to be ill.

It goes against our grain in some way. We’re used to surrendering to something that feels ‘spiritual’ or ‘good.’ We’re not so accustomed to letting ourselves be sick. It feels like something must be ‘wrong with us.’ And yet, for me my illness served as a mystical doorway. While everything else in my physical world stood still – the doing, the taking care of others, the need to cook or clean or write or speak – intense movement took shape through my interior world. Relationships changed, my ‘work’ focus streamlined and some of what I had felt so passionate about during the last several months began to lose the pulse of Life my soul requires in order to feel alive. Even in my illness, in the tired state of my physical body, I could feel the vitality of my soul.

Mariska Karto Illness

Illness is my lover – was my lover. She has left for now. It came to me as I neared the end of our affair together – I had given myself completely to her. I knew that – I felt that with full clarity in all of my being. And just as clear was the message it was time to let her go. Our heated passion was over. My body called me to come back into myself fully. And with as much fervor I shifted my energy and now gave myself fully to me.

I actually loved the time during which I felt so unwell. It was a mystical journey deep into myself, with only myself. We are gifted so many lovers in this life, and too often we miss the juice they offer to us. I’ve never in my life felt illness in my being as I did these last two weeks. There are layers of what she brought to me, how she impacted me on very deep levels, what I both released and embraced in myself. I’ll be writing more about this in my book.

For now, I leave you with this. Everything and anything that comes to you has the power to become your lover, to engage all of your senses in a mad, torrid affair of love that will pierce your heart and sear your soul. Surrender into it. Let yourself lie with deep pleasure, feeling the fullness of who you are. THIS is the mystic’s journey – making love with the sacred at every turn.

From the Diary of a Sensual Woman

Sensuality is about FEELING, sinking into our senses, allowing pleasure to penetrate us fully and tingle through every cell in our body. It’s about becoming the energy of whatever you are engaging, so much so that a merging occurs and you are no longer separate. Sensual energy ‘wakes up’ the fullness of who we are, seducing us to move deeper and deeper into the ecstatic state of euphoric heart stimulation.

I am a sensual woman, deep into the core of my being. The more I acknowledge and embrace that truth, the more I am immersed into the sacredness of its presence. Allowing myself to speak the language, feel the vibrations, walk the walk and ‘talk the talk’ is more and more opening me up to what it IS to be a sensual woman.

'Desire' by Lauri Blank
‘Desire’ by Lauri Blank

Let me, for a moment, tell you what it is not. It’s not an open invitation for either male or female to assume I desire to be sexual with you. It’s not a statement that I am soliciting sexual comments or activity. It’s not about flaunting myself or hanging a sign outside my door that says ‘always open to lewdness.’

It’s sacred, my friends. It comes from the center of my heart. It’s aroused by connection to something that moves me, that stirs me from the deepest place inside myself. In my younger years, it was strictly outside of me, because I couldn’t grasp the enormity of who I am. I couldn’t begin to relate to sensuality being nothing about sex and everything about the heart. Because in our world, we get it wrong. We confuse the two. And I am here to assist us in dropping the weighted view of our sensuality as well as the warped sense of sexuality we have inherited. I am here to show you how holy it is to sink into our senses, to feel everything – including our beautiful way of being sexual in this world – but from the INSIDE OUT.

So please, do not assume I want to engage in continual sexual innuendo. If you don’t whisper or ignite a fire in my heart as well as my body, ours is an empty connection.