Love is Seduction

‘More and more people are realizing to love their mate intimately and honestly is their spiritual practice; the two are not separate.’ ~ Aphrodite’s Daughters

I read an article yesterday titled ‘Danger: How to Know If You’re Having an Emotional Affair‘, and although I understand a bit of the intention, parts of it really fired me up. The overall message in the article felt focused on keeping our hearts ‘in check’ and maintaining a marriage the way it ‘should’ be done.

It’s challenging for me to find the ‘shoulds’ in my marriage, in my love for my husband, my lover. For me, the commitment I feel for him and for what we share and create together comes directly FROM my heart. If we place rules and limitations on what the heart is allowed to feel, to express, to honor, how then can we possibly be in an open, honest relationship with ourselves or our partners?

A Mermaid in the Sunset - Love is Seduction by Marco Busoni
A Mermaid in the Sunset – Love is Seduction by Marco Busoni

I’m not advocating for affairs, for blind followings of lust or heartthrob. I’m saying there is a beauty to the raw wildness of our hearts, and if we can trust its whisperings, whatever action we take will ultimately and certainly lead us deeper into a knowing of ourselves and subsequently all those with whom we share intimacy. This is true not only of our lovers and partners in a physical sense, but of those we love on the deepest levels, with whom we can be naked in some way.

To imply that intimacy comes from adhering to a set of rules and how it should be feels in opposition to the very beauty that IS intimacy. Intimacy for me is a purity of self, an allowing of what is rather than a stamping out of what ‘should not’ be. There’s a beautiful unveiling that takes place when we follow the seduction of our hearts. How does one determine, with what measure can anyone possibly say the heart is wrong?

Perhaps there is an attraction, a genuine heart-centered connection occurring. I believe we must first be honest with ourselves regarding what we feel. We must take the temperature of our own beliefs and values, honoring our integrity and intuitive knowing. Walking this way in our world leaves little room for ‘right and wrong’ when it comes to the language of the heart.

My spiritual practice is very much centered around intimacy, as well as the ecstatic movement through what is mine to experience. There is no authority outside of my being that could begin to understand, much less dictate what is right for me personally, or how I ‘should’ engage my marriage, lover, partner. When we dare to cross that line on behalf of another person, to speak THEIR truth as though it were ours to do so, we unravel the integrity of their individual and soul power. What to one may appear and/or feel to be ‘wrong’ may very well be healing and liberating for another.

We must begin to understand the power of the heart, of her voice. We must honor the knowing in another and drop the need to dictate who or what they ‘should’ be. The ‘danger’ is in our fear of what might come, of how we might find beauty in the midst of what this world considers chaos. Our emotions, the calling of our hearts is one of the most potent doorways to the center of all we are. When we shush even the tiniest part of that voice, we create ripples that will hold us still in time. We must give full berth to the love unfolding within, in its purest authentic expression. This, loves, this is our way to intimacy, to holiness and the deepest level of commitment to ourselves, our marriages, our lovers. Love, in her purest, most radiant form – is seduction.

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To the Aroused Man: I Meant to Turn You On

‘Your posts are very arousing Jackie- damm I get hard reading them.’

My whole self froze upon reading this message in my inbox, following my last post. It’s not new – turning men on by simply being me. I’ve always felt and known it – sometimes consciously, other times it’s crept up and caught me completely by surprise. And the response is most often the same: I freeze for a moment when it’s unsolicited by my own physical arousal, by an intention to get ‘his’ attention. I’m well aware when that energy is present in myself–and when it’s not.

So when I read these words, I felt old stirrings of shame come flooding in. Self doubt and questioning – am I cheapening the Sacred Feminine by speaking what I am so passionate about? In stepping deeper into my own voice and expression, is there a disservice being done to others?

aroused

The one truth that really seemed to matter rose to the surface of it all: I MEANT to arouse you. By the very nature of who I am I arouse – with my body, my words, my energy, my voice, my truth – all of who I came here to be in this life is arousing. And now that I am at this place of fully embracing that in myself, of understanding it’s meant to be this way, the arousal is fully conscious.

Only my intention isn’t simply to arouse your body. I appreciate fully that impact on your being, because for most of my life that’s how I translated passionate, ignited sacred energy flowing through my body – sexual. It always felt that my exhilaration, my enthusiasm, my greatest moments of life had some tie to being sexually turned on. And for years I felt confused by this reality, shamed by it really. I felt I was wrong, cheap, dirty because my body responded to all forms of arousal in a sexual manner.

I offer to you this: we are meant to feel the vibration of who we are in this way. The sexual response is but ONE way to channel that energy, and unfortunately for so many, it’s the only way we are attuned to feeling who we are. If you’re like me, you feel that sensation and then are hungry for some form of lusty fulfillment. In most cases, that doesn’t come the way we long for it to, and all that’s left is the emptiness of wanting, the desire to feel everything in your body become kissed and stirred into awakening once again.

So yes, I meant to turn you on. And my intention is this: to turn on every sense in your body so that you cannot escape your hunger for all that is raw and pulsing in your being, and you must embrace it rather than seek to release it. It’s something I’m really just beginning to put into practice myself, so we’re in this together. We are sexual beings, and it’s time we allow our sexuality to become a doorway to the mystical. It’s time we recognize we have a power to be aroused that goes beyond sexual exchange.

What I love about this message is that my words are having the desired impact. In spite of the moments when our bodies are turned on and we feel we could become sexual with anyone who crosses our path, what we are opening is something much more powerful. And we’ve not yet fully stepped into that power. To keep it only ‘sexual’ is to keep it small. It truly encompasses how we love, how we live, how we speak, eat, laugh, breathe. This power has the capacity to awaken, to arouse, to ignite every area of our lives if we give it room to do so.

To become turned on is to become steeped in the beauty, the fire, the grace, the holiness of who we are, of all this world has to offer us, of the power that moves the blood through our veins. Doesn’t it make sense that blood would move into the most intimate places of our bodies and create a response that feels very sexual?

There are no answers here, only one woman sharing her story, her insights, her truth. I offer this to you for consideration. What if there is no more shame in your body? Who would you be then? I believe with all my being that my pure expression is here to arouse every sense, to turn you on, to dissolve the residues of shame that keep you from your authentic power. I challenge you, when the blood begins to pump, when your whole body is turned on high – consider all that is available to you. Feel deeply every sensation that is awakening you, cleansing the residues of your old stories, stirring your passions into life. Feel the sexual response in your body, with full awareness this isn’t simply a sexual experience. It’s actually a language your soul is speaking to you; a liberation of the chains that have kept you in place. Feel it as such, and give movement to your arousal in ways you have not yet known.

So to the men and women alike who feel yourselves aroused by my writing and energy – I meant to turn you on. I meant to bring to you a doorway through which to feel your sacredness. When it comes to meet you, allow the sensation of being a divinely awake human being. Allow the dialogue to be shared with your body, with your soul. Because some part of your truth is seeking its way to you. The Sacred Feminine is fondling the most sensitive parts of your being. How will you respond?

Feminine Power of Penetration: No More Playing Small

I love the sensation of being penetrated. There’s nothing like the presence of my lover buried deep inside me with a fire of passion that calls us together, blazing in the heat of sweet surrender. What I’ve come to understand recently is that even as I am being penetrated physically and energetically by my love, there is a simultaneous penetration of my own taking place.

In the act of making love, the penis enters the vagina. Repeatedly. We’ve understood this for years to be the way of sex. We’ve also experienced and attached to it the idea that men have the power and women surrender ourselves to that power. There can be a beautiful truth in this reality, but it requires that we let go of the histories with which we have become so familiar. We must relinquish our role as ‘victim’ in the feminine sense, and understand the power of choice in the act of surrender to our love. Surrender isn’t solely about ‘giving in’ – it’s very much about allowing, inviting, welcoming.

Marilyn

Because here’s what’s true, my loves. It’s not only men who penetrate when it comes to making love. We as women carry our own exquisite art of penetration. As we passionately contract our vaginal walls around our man’s presence in our bodies, there is a feminine penetration taking place. He may be buried deep inside us, but our energy and fire surround him fully, penetrating the very essence of his being.

We carry the power to satiate, to ignite, to soothe or spark. Moving in harmony with all his body communicates to us, we have the ability to receive all he offers, simultaneously injecting our adoration, tenderness, healing fires into his being.  This is the energy of the feminine. She is the giver of life, healer, seductress. She is the balm that cures whatever ails her lover. When we as women really begin to sense, allow and embrace this truth, it transforms us, our lovers, our entire sexual experience.

The desire for penetration is real – male or female, masculine or feminine. The power to do so exists in each one of us. This is our time to stand up and claim our power, to step out of our smallness, proclaiming who we are as loud and strong as we need. Women who honor the fullness of who we are become graced with the gift of cleansing and awakening penetration. We tap into something still lurking in the shadows of our time. We change the story and shift the scales. There is no more separation of the masculine and feminine through the energy of victim/perpetrator. We become lovers of one another, exchanging the gift of entrance and invitation with each other. This is where our power lies. And it’s time we owned it all.

I Make Love to Change the World

The world will be saved by the western woman. ~ Dalai Lama

We’ve all heard this quote by now, haven’t we? We’ve ridden the wagon of feminine empowerment, liberation, freedoms for some time–and made great progress with still more to come. Women are more and more unveiling and embracing the truth of who we are, of the power we carry, of the ways in which our presence and energy impact this world.

I don’t believe it’s as simple as this quote, however. In fact, something inside me has shown up in questioning response since I read it. I couldn’t hear it at first–the work of releasing myself from inner and outer prisons much too loud inside my being. Today, that little ‘ping’ finds crystal clarity.

This world cannot be saved by women alone. We are potent creators, givers of life, lovers of fierce and noble men and women alike. But we are not the saviors of this planet.

couples

What I believe to be offered within this quote and so many others like it, is the unshackling of women. Unshackling ourselves from false truths, from ‘nice’ ways of walking in this world, from victim mentalities, from needing to be like men in order to feel equal. And through the unchaining of ourselves, we in turn become sovereign, claiming fully the power that is ours; ours because it lives inside us. This has been a necessary part of the process, however it is not the ultimate destination.

And our men are in the process of doing the same work; of reclaiming themselves, opening their hearts, allowing vulnerability in how they feel, speak and love. It looks different on the outside, but the interior tearing down and raising up is very much the same.

I want to pause here and say it’s not simply about men and women, heterosexual terms. There are many same sex couples whose masculine and feminine energies ignite and balance much the same way as do those of heterosexual couples. Just as some have many lovers while others choose marriage or monogamy. Drop the rules. Toss out the old language and see beyond the surface.

Women and men alike – masculine and feminine energy each coming together in sacred union, in fiery passion and expansive love for each other – that is what will change this world. It’s the allowance within each one of us that creates the massive alchemy required to open hearts, ignite wombs, heal heartache, empower the generations that follow. It’s a dance of masculine and feminine burning in the fires together in whatever form you wish to take it: your own inner marriage of the two and/or your partnering with the ‘opposing’ energy.

The key is wide open embrace to oneself. The more we steep in the heat of our true expression, our raw emotions, our pure essence, unique personal power and way of walking this world, the deeper we come alive. We bring that life to our work, our creativity, our health, our conversations, to our love and to our partners. There is a holy fire of union shared between us and the masculine/feminine counterparts we choose and are.

Women will change the world. Men will change the world. The masculine is a driving force in blazing new trails, just as the feminine is the passion for doing so. Each burning on its own, expanding to new depths and heights through the mutual love and merging. Making love will change the world. It’s all in how you choose to do it.

Speaking Sexuality Out Loud

Dissolving the shame around our sexuality isn’t exclusive to women – or to men. Nor is it simply about those who are in heterosexual male/female relationships. We’re entering a space where the delicate balance of masculine and feminine are coming together – finding center. There are women who relate more to the masculine way of being, and men whose natural tendencies and desires are in the feminine realm.

We’re expanding the conversation now – and it’s going to get hot. Hot in the ways we desire, yes – increased arousal, fires burning in all the right places; but also hot in the ways that make us uncomfortable, fidgety in our seats, ready to lash out and defend what feels true in ourselves.

There’s been an imbalance in our world through the reign of patriarchy. We’ve all played into it – men and women alike. And for some time now there have been women’s groups and organizations, books, websites, conferences and Red Tent gatherings centered around the empowerment, the healing, the opening and release of the wounds we have carried for generations and lifetimes. So many of us know stories of our aunts, mothers and grandmothers having experienced sexual abuse at the hands of men. And in truth – that certainly still happens.

Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva
Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva

We’ve put much energy, heart and time into healing these wounds, empowering ourselves, finding our voices and releasing the demons that plague our past. Women are experiencing liberation, dissolving shame and opening to the intimate, hidden places in our sexual libraries. We love to be sexual. We desire to be wanted, adored. We carry a passion so deep it can ignite inside us in a heartbeat. These are our truths.

It’s time now to give our men the same leeway in expressing their sexual truths. Let us allow them to speak of the sexual intensity present in their own bodies, give them room to unleash the raw desire and lust that lives within their masculine way of walking this earth. Our men, this generation of men along with this generation of women, deserve no less than to be able to speak boldly and openly of their sexual desires. It’s the hiding away, the shaming, the blame and the judgment of what is wrong  and not acceptable that has driven us to acting out our sexuality in secret, in dark places where it has little room to flourish, to burn, to breathe as the truth of what it is.

It may feel uncomfortable in us at times. And ladies, let’s be fair – there are certainly moments our open expression has felt the same to our male counterparts. Let us now come together as equals, processing and releasing the shackles of our history, the wounding, the heartache, the blame. Let us honor each other as who we are in our sexuality, in our hunger and ravenous desire to explore the depths of our bodies, our passion, our fires together. We have certainly come far enough to engage the conversation, to speak boldly and honestly our truths to one another and find in the process an acceptance and even celebration of what is real and true in ourselves and each other.

Claiming our Feminine Sexuality

We have forgotten we are holy. In the throes of patriarchal rule, we left behind our ability to serve as channels of the sacred. There was a time in the history of women when we were the means through which men (and likely other women) found their way to divine awakening–through the act of being sexually intimate with a woman. We – as women – have forgotten we are holy.

Our sexuality is our own. It belongs solely to us. And yet, we leave it sitting on the shelf until it’s called for by someone else who wants it. We have forgotten how to live and breathe as the sensual beings we are, the holy deities of the Goddess we are. We no longer remember what it is to exude and express that essence beyond the call of our lover to be sexual.

We wait to be desired and wanted as validation of our worth. Rather than understand the purity of being Woman, we set her aside until another confirms through their desire that we are something to be valued, loved, adored, cherished. The question I pose to you today is how do we reconnect to that essence? How do we reclaim our own sexuality in its fullness, in its beauty and hallowed grace?

aphrodite
‘Venus’ by Diego Velazquez, 1599-1660

There are very nice phrases we’ve come to use, such as ‘love yourself first.’ Yes, I believe we’re very much remembering how to do that. And I don’t sense this is about loving ourselves. This is about a fundamental disconnect from our sexuality, from the power of what it is for us as women to own our sexuality and perhaps even more so from an acceptance by ourselves of who we are as sexual beings. We’ve become so ‘pure’ in accordance with societal, religious and cultural expectations–we’ve forgotten who we are.

It’s time to WAKE UP and fully remember who we are as sexual women, as channels and vessels of all that is the Sacred Feminine. We are the very gateways through which our lovers access the divine potency of true ecstasy. And we have forgotten. We must first give ourselves permission to be sexual, to feel sexual, to engage and initiate our sexuality in ways that are new and outside ordinary boundaries and acceptable ways of being. We must press beyond what we have known and felt is safe in our expression, in our remembrance, in our utterance and crying out for what our feminine essence longs to bare. This is our time now. No longer need we fear the repercussion of speaking out, acting out, stepping out on behalf of the heart-womb-body connection. The stirrings that come from within have too long been silenced in fear, punishment and self hatred. Enough. It’s time to claim our sexual power in its fullness, to unleash the volcano of passion of the Sacred Feminine in all her glory and fire.

‘The Teaching My Blood Whispers to Me’

I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me. ~Herman Hesse

Sensations awoke and began to move through my body when I read this quote today, especially the phrase ‘the teaching my blood whispers to me.’

It’s 2015. January. This is the month I have known my book would finally come into form. The vision has been with me for some time–not just a dream of writing a book, an actual vision of the process, the writing, the text. There is a gentle flow that moves us to the place where we breathe life into the dream. And then….we give it form; a way to move through this world, to touch people on a human level, to connect to the very places in us that seek to be caressed, awakened, aroused.

Photograph by Miyako Ishiuchi
Photograph by Miyako Ishiuchi

This is where I find myself now. The book journal is never far from where I am. The pages are filling with the inspirations and passions of what is meant to be written by me, as me, through me. I know when I hit the mark because my self begins to tingle and the cells dance the macarena. Everything is lit up and all signs are go.

Today, as I sat at my desk and the words move through me, I felt it. And I felt too what this quote served to validate for me–what is meant to to be told comes through the blood that is mine, the experiences and truths and knowings, the magic and creativity and DNA, the very Life Force of all that is beautifully and uniquely me. This is the story I am to tell – mine. I’ve always known that, only now I know it’s not just a story of my life. It’s a story of the Sacred Feminine coming full into Herself. It’s a story of so many women who came before me, and perhaps some who will follow. Only, the telling of the story will shift its course. The vulnerable, raw and pure sharing of who we are as women is what unleashes our power. THIS is our story, our offering, our blessing….this is our blood. My blood. ‘The teaching my blood whispers to me. ‘ Yes.