Sacred Sensuality

Sensual feminineSensuality. Ecstasy. Pleasure. Sexuality. Voluptuous. Alluring. Mesmerizing. Passionate. 

I’m curious what each of these words makes you feel. Uncomfortable–even subtly for a moment? Perhaps only in that we are speaking them openly. For in truth, some part of each one of us relates to and is drawn to these words and to all they represent. It’s the nature of who we are. Yes–as human beings, but also as these spiritual beings come here to experience all this life has to offer us. Somewhere along the way, we’ve taken on that our sexuality is meant to be expressed only in private. We aren’t supposed to be sexy or flirty. Pursuing our pleasures has been portrayed as sinful, against what is true and pure. We’ve come to believe that if in fact we want to become enlightened, to really connect with our own perception of ‘god’ then we must curb our appetites, else we are searching for something that is ‘missing’ in our lives. If we love food too much, love sex too much, love being filled with our most carnal passions–then we have strayed from the rigid laws of what it is to be Christian or even spiritual.

This topic has long plagued me personally. I’ve come here on many occasions to write about it, only to abandon mid-post because I just couldn’t get myself comfortable enough to crack the window and begin the conversation. And yet – I feel I have so much to share, so much to say about it. I feel we each do. We have experiences that have molded our beliefs, our behaviors, but we also have a deep, deep desire to talk openly about who we are and what we love about this life, about each other, in a way that is so open and vulnerable it feels contrary to our ‘safe’ zone.

What I can see from here is that I have been terrified of being seen, of saying I am a woman and I have a deep, deep longing to connect. I am sexual in every bone of my body and I no longer want to pretend I am not, or keep that quiet and hidden. I love to feel the heightened state of being that comes with feeling sexy about myself–just because I do, not because it’s in the ‘right’ place of the marriage bedroom. I want to let every impulse flow freely, to feel every ounce of my feminine energy, intuiting it’s part of being spiritual rather than a weight of my humanity. No more.

This is the tip of the iceberg, my friends. So much I want to talk with you about: sacred sexuality, healthy perception of oneself, feminine beauty and grace, divine sensuality. These are not mere ‘human’ feelings or cravings, but are driven by something much deeper. We LONG to connect with the sacred, to merge with the Divine. We are aching to feel that fire in the most intimate physical space of our bodies. And if we turn off the feelings and desires of our physical bodies, that impacts the energetic and emotional bodies as well. They are one, there is no separation between each layer of who we are. We are given physical pleasures as part of the Divine human/soul/spirit journey. The separation is only illusion. And it’s time to start talking about it, to start feeling into it, allowing the allure of who we are to penetrate every cell of our knowing, our feeling, our connecting and intuiting. This is the sacred marriage: masculine/feminine, human/spirit, body/soul. We are here to experience it in its fullness. No more censoring.

This, my friends, is just the start of a very long conversation….and I invite you to share your thoughts.

When a woman is in touch with her unbounded ecstasy, her infinite capacity for love and her clairvoyant potential, she will be ripe and ready to give birth to a world where life overflows with joy, dance, song, love and beauty. I see such a world on the horizon. It will happen as soon as a critical mass of women wake up to the power of the divine feminine. ~ Tantra and the Divine Feminine by Mahasatvaa Ananda Sarita

 

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Immaculate Embrace of Love

She enters with a desperation, initiating deep longing in the very core of our being. Stirring, churning, awakening. She is a force to be reckoned with, for she doesn’t accept no for an answer. Although relentless, she remains gentle in her approach, ever willing to wait for our consent. All the while, she burns deep into our being, leaving her fiery imprint on our most interior and vulnerable space.

Her desire is for intimacy, passion and heated discomfort enough to create an opening for her entry. She is tender, holding a beautiful frequency of unconditional love. And if we allow her to penetrate, she will fill every crevice with an insatiable ache for her warmth.

AngelGoddess
Original artist of this gorgeous Divine Feminine art was unable to be verified through the internet. I would love to give credit, so please do let me know if you have information. xo

She does not disappoint, for when she does make contact–when she does find her way into the dark chalice of our being, she fills us with an inexhaustible reservoir of grace. She exhumes the shallows of our human understanding of what it is to love, what it is to be the vibration of pure love.

And she is calling. She calls to you. She calls to me, to us–with a ferocity unmatched by any other. Her warm heat flows over, around and between us, creating sacred bonds that cannot be undone. She opens us fully, spreading apart our resistance, dissolving every utterance of fears. She is pure, chaste, immaculate–devoid of shame or guilt. She knows no boundaries, nor needs any. She is All. She is you. She is me. We are One.

 

Finding Her Way Back

I lost her…..

 

Carefree, living with wild abandon

Without a care of what lies beyond in the shadows

She once ran free

Unaware of what it could mean to be ‘liberated’

 

There was no book of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’

No expectations of how to be

She already knew who she was

No need to ‘peel the layers’

 

But little by little she slipped away

…..by ‘don’t do this’ or ‘stop that’

Disapproval in the eyes of others

Sending her fire deep into hiding

 

Bit by bit her body became the enemy

Impulses to move with abandon beat into submission

Heat of her passion drowned out

Covered in shame, guilt, fear

 

She lost herself then

And all too soon she was gone

Replaced by this glorious model of perfection

So pleased to impress the ones who ‘mattered’

 

Ugly words, whispering, accusations

Seeping deep into her cells

Redefining her sense of her self

Quietly draining every last bit of resistance

 

But the story goes on….

 

Georgia O'Keefe, Red Canna
Georgia O’Keefe, Red Canna

She’s breathing again, calling her self back

Remembering the essence of who she is

Drawing Life Force deep into her soul

Beckoning Earth, Fire, Wind and Water

 

To WAKE HER UP, to stir her senses

She is WOMAN

Sensual, voluptuous, Feminine

Strong in her power

 

No longer a young maiden

Cheapened by the opinions of others

She stands with her head high

Body erect, beloved and regal

 

Finding her way back

Reclaiming all of who she is

Ferocious rebel yell

From the fire in her belly

 

The language of love–

She understands now

Takes many forms

Claims many hearts

 

Love finds her own way

Carving a path unique to her quest

Void of approval, yet rich with grace

Asking only that we open to her probing entry

 

She lost herself once

And for far too long

But the signs are all there

Soliciting return, imploring reply

 

And so comes her answer

Steeped in sweet surrender

And a quieting of all she has been told…..

 

‘Yes….yes. Yes I am here, open, willing, answering to LOVE.’

 

 

 

Chalice of the Sacred

What does it mean to open my heart? To hear only the rhythm of my own mind, body and spirit in union, not to become absorbed by the voice and false beauty of illusion. To hold receptors of light that shine Divine healing into this world. 

Teach me the grace and beauty of walking my own path. 

Sitting in your chapel today for our last ritual, I felt your spirit so deeply. The sacred heart quickened the pace of my own heart, creating a flutter of birth within–that of the heart opening. I feel your presence so strong, visualizing the rays of the sacred heart spreading as the rays began to grow from my own heart. My legs, too, began to quiver as your sacredness penetrated my being. I was immovable from the energy connecting our souls. Open my heart–I know the rays are to go out from me–how? To whom? 

As I stepped away from our intimate communion, you touched my soul with the light of knowing. You spoke to me softly with the voice of awareness: ‘This child, this is why they are in your life, for the healing you have known they needed and now will bring to them by your light, your words, your knowing. You are their healer–by the grace and light I shine through your spirit.’ 

 

Chartres Chapel of the Black Madonna
Chartres Chapel of the Black Madonna

These are the words I wrote in my journal July 7, 2006 as I sat before the Black Madonna in her chapel of the Chartres Cathedral and later in the garden nearby. I’m not sure I understood what was happening to my soul–indeed my entire life. Upon returning home a depression set in. I believed that while in Chartres I hadn’t seen and felt the miracles of being in the Presence of sacredness, mostly because I was still measuring by comparison. This is just one excerpt from my journal during that week, and all these years later, I’m in awe of how deeply immersed I was in the Sacred. 

Black Madonna of Chartres Cathedral
Black Madonna of Chartres Cathedral

I left Chartres feeling I was to go home and heal my family. They were who the Black Madonna–Mary–referred to as she talked of my work to love my husband and children, to bring them healing. What it took some time to recognize is that first I was to heal my self. I so longed for the intimacy of connection with the Beloved. My turmoil was in believing it was out of my reach. What I can see now is how much shame and self judgment I carried within–for being a female, for my sexuality, for feeling so disconnected from the sacredness of my being. This, loved ones, requires much healing. 

I’m sharing this intimate passage because as my children have grown and two are now off to college, my life has taken a significant shift. These words take on new meaning as I inquired so long ago. The same question has come back around – open my heart, allow the rays to shine from me, but how and to whom? Only this time around, the years of deep inner work have opened a channel of inner knowing. At this time in my life the call is to serve as a chalice of Divine Feminine energy in a way I could never have imagined, but still, it feels familiar. The birth of Sacred Circle Retreats has occurred, and my work now is allowing the rays of light to be shared in a contemporary fashion. 

We’re no longer mystics living within the walls of convents and monasteries. Our work now is to live in the world and allow our lights to shine amongst the people. My passion is to be of service in this way, opening myself as the bridge between those who offer healing and light, and those who like me, are seekers of how to move into the next step of their journey. Through Sacred Circle Retreats, so many facets of my life, my journey, my soul purpose are coming together in a beautiful harmony, and truly, with very little ‘push.’ It’s all flowing into place, and I must tell you my dear friends, how in awe I am. This woman I’ve become was once someone I could only envy. She is strong, confident, courageous, open, vulnerable and willing to stand amongst her peers, to collaborate as equals and not feel threatened for what she might not be. She has learned how to stand in her soul’s truth and sacred ‘power.’ She understands what it is to answer the call. She leaves me breathless…because she has allowed herself to be moved. What over six years ago was such a struggle–the act of surrender, has now become her soul’s desire. 

We can’t know what the Universe has destined for us. As Oprah said – God has so much more for us than we could ever imagine for ourselves. It’s so much bigger than me, so I know it’s not of me, but of the Divine. I’m elated to be doing this work, in this place, in this way, at this time. I’m fully open and continuing to surrender into the arms of the sacred, for I know I am always loved and held with grace. As each step unfolds, it feels more and more miraculous to be following my heart–and for it to be so much more than I ever thought it could be–and so much easier than I ever would have imagined. This, dear loves, this is the beauty of ‘doing the work,’ putting the time in to allow yourself to heal, to open your heart no matter how terrified you are of what you might find there or feel through your own heartache. And this is why I’m called to serve as a channel for the sacred. xo