Becoming Love’s Void

She ebbs and flows ~ deeply, gently, fluently in and out of our heartspace. Her presence draws us further still into the blackened and intense depths of what it is to love, to be loved, to become her very essence. We are meant to give ourselves completely to her, and yet every barrier we have constructed through time and space gives us pause.

Love is a word too easily used in our language. We forget, sometimes, to feel her stirring us into remembering, into becoming spread wide open to receive her, penetrated to the core by her unraveling essence. But when we do, in those glimpses of time where She is ruler of all we think and feel and speak, in the moments we find ourselves lost to the impulses we can no longer hold back – in those beautiful, ecstatic, glorious moments we find ourselves catapulted into another reality, a very different way of being.

It seems all too often the human response is to pull back. Certainly because beneath our layers there breathes a programmed fear of Love’s pure and potent Life Force. Also, I believe, because we fear the void of her absence. In her continual ebb and flow there are spaces in which we feel she has left us–naked, alone, bewildered at the chasm she leaves in her wake. We sink into a state of wondering how we could have soared so high only to seemingly fall so quickly and with such great force.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi 

love

What we are still remembering is She is not only the burning, stirring, blissful state of passion and expression. Love remains present in the void. In fact – She IS the void. She pulls us close as we enter into that seeming state of emptiness, of lack, of loneliness that leaves us longing for her return yet again. She is there, ever so gently rocking us, caressing and kissing our most tender places and remembering us into opening to her once again.

What is true, my friends, is Love is the very power of unbecoming. She breaks us wide open, pouring the dripping honey of her warmth into every barren crack and dry crevice. And even in the quiet, the stillness and illusory absence of her – she is there, stroking, breathing, loving us into yielding to her embrace.

So many of us have this rhythmic relationship with Love, unaware still of just how present and masterful she truly is. We’re unaccustomed to her subtle tones, the ones that beckon us to come into her, to surrender fully to her, even in those places we keep most protected for fear they become broken open and bleeding yet again.

Become her void. In the space where there is the sensation of love’s absence, call to her, giving all you are, all you have to the offering of your shared intercourse. She waits for you too, longing to feel you, to be given all the room she needs to inhabit your heart and movement in total. This is her deepest desire – to become one with you, to sensually move together through each ebb and flow. Let her come and devour you, satiating her hunger and yours in whatever way she will.

‘I Started My Bleeding Today.’

It’s not something we often hear or even imagine one woman saying to another. Instead there are sentiments of ‘Ugh, I got my period today.’ Or ‘I hate my period.’ Bit of a sad statement considering as women we bleed every month for much of our lives.

I envision a space where one woman can say to another ‘I started my bleeding today’ with a deep sense of her self, of her body, her holiness and the gift she is to be able to release every month what is no longer needed within her being. I imagine the woman to whom she is speaking responding with such warmth and honoring, with the consciousness of how uniquely coded our blood truly is, of all it carries–opens–awakens within us.

The time of our bleeding is one of deep power. It holds a thread that connects us to every other woman who is living or has ever walked on this Earth. We are bonded together through our blood, through our ability to give life in all forms, through our Divine Feminine lineage and legacy.

karol bak red
Artist Karol Bak 

We are given this space every month in which to become still, fully present with our bodies. It becomes necessary for us to shift the ‘usual’ course of our lives, our activities, our eating habits, our emotions. Our bodies taking on fully the role of master as they orchestrate yet another great unveiling of the power we carry inside.

I wish for every woman to feel the sacredness present in her time of bleeding. I wish for her to share her experience with another woman who can hold a holy space of honoring her for the great Goddess and Creator she is.  I wish for each woman to sink deep into herself with a knowing of the wisdom, creativity, nurturing, grace and beauty her blood offers to her.

The more we are able to tune into our bodies, our hearts, our wombs as women who bleed, the more aware we are of how this time works with us on a very unique and individual level. We begin to sense our time before the signs ever arrive. We notice the way our bodies gently and masterfully guide us into our own essence and the reverence of all we are.

Consider as a woman how it might feel to embrace this intimate and transformative sanctuary within yourself. Consider as a man how you can even more fully honor the women of your life with an open conversation and willingness to be present with her own personal story and experience around her bleeding. There is a beautiful and stunning unveiling awaiting us all in the conversation – of this I am certain. We have much to unlearn, unravel and awaken.

Related posts:

How Do You Bleed

Sacred Blood, Holy Grail

Deepening the Layers

My Body is a Prayer

My body is a prayer
Uttered, whispered
In deep moans of pleasure
With sighs of ecstasy

She is Holiest of Holies
Sacred temple space
Innermost chalice
Bearing crimson wine

My body is a prayer
Heart beating
In rhythm to All That Is
Pulse ripened
In her own unbecoming

Promised in the kiss of her lips
Cradled in the arms of her embrace
Nestled in the crevice of her legs
Infused in the amrita of her nectar

Voice of the Divine
Goddess in the flesh
Aphrodite glistening
Through lush feminine folds

My body is a prayer
Ever present lovemaking
To all breath of Life
Broken open, fully bared
By thrusts of Holy Love

body prayer silverwitch

With equal measure
She inhales
And exhales
Beauty of her Presence

My body is a prayer
Consumed in continual reverence
Caressed by the taste of Eros
Penetrated fully
By the heated flow of Grace

My body is a prayer
Offering herself
Again and again
To her Beloved

 

 

A Wanted Woman

While walking through our neighborhood a few evenings ago, my love paused for a moment to wrap his arms around me, even sensually cupping my behind. I felt my whole self light up with his touch, with the energy of his wanting, and his ‘small’ gesture stirred a sense of truth within: I highly value being a wanted woman. 

Perhaps I’ve known that’s true for a very long time, only I’m not sure I’ve always had an acceptance or carried the beauty of understanding it within myself. There are innuendos attached to such a statement. Judgments around our (lack of) self esteem, our wounds, our need to be recognized, seen, loved. Residues of those notions still plague me a bit, but the ferocity and deep power of the feeling in that statement stayed with me, leaving me to ponder more intimately just what it meant.

A wanted woman. As I feel into that phrase, connect to the essence of who she is, I can sense this goes beyond simply being desired. The energy of what I feel is of being a woman who is cherished, honored, loved for who she is. She is worthy of being so loved and esteemed simply because she breathes. We’ve lost touch with allowing ourselves to feel this so fully, suppressing our desire to be honored in this way, especially when it relates to physical presence.

sensual flowers

There was a time in our history when women were so honored for our beauty, our love, our wisdom and holiness. For many women, that love was felt through the worship of our bodies. I believe that time is present once again and part of its power is for us to claim it in ourselves. For me, allowing this statement to remain in my awareness is part of how I do that. One of my initial responses when the moment had passed was to feel old stories creeping in, to hear the voices of others who may not understand or honor this sensation of what it is to be woman–to be me as a woman. Giving the notion of valuing myself as a wanted woman room to remain in my contemplation as well as sharing it with you here are both part of my own internal release of what is no longer true – for myself and for all woman who relate.

I don’t believe this hunger is exclusive to just women. Our men, lovers, children bask in the glow of our honored loving. We crave the sensation of being held in the highest regard on every level. There is a vulnerability required to let ourselves feel the aching, to give ourselves space to express our need to be loved and seen fully. Perhaps it’s the vulnerability that keeps us from feeling it to its depths – both the desire to be so cherished as well as our ability to love another in this way.

I’m curious if you feel its truth within your being. As you read the statement ‘I highly value being a wanted woman’ what is the response it evokes in your being? Can you connect to the beauty of who you are, to the desire you have within to be loved and held sacred by those you hold close in your heart?

This is part of the suffering we impart upon ourselves – denial of our inner truth. Such seemingly small statements can turn our world inside out, drawing us deeper into the raw and intimate places of what we have kept safely hidden. The tide has turned and we are no longer in the shadows of our truth, our expression, our hunger and desire. The fear to let it breathe remains, and we alone hold the power to bare its naked presence and feel from within the dissolution of what is old. As we do this more and more, the old breaks away and we find ourselves in a new and powerful relation to ourselves.

I am a wanted woman. Loved, cherished, held sacred. The more I understand and allow this to be present in myself, the more I can receive and experience it with others. It’s been easy to give the love and honoring to others. A raw allowing is required to feel it within and for ourselves. I choose that. xx

 

I Make Love to Change the World

The world will be saved by the western woman. ~ Dalai Lama

We’ve all heard this quote by now, haven’t we? We’ve ridden the wagon of feminine empowerment, liberation, freedoms for some time–and made great progress with still more to come. Women are more and more unveiling and embracing the truth of who we are, of the power we carry, of the ways in which our presence and energy impact this world.

I don’t believe it’s as simple as this quote, however. In fact, something inside me has shown up in questioning response since I read it. I couldn’t hear it at first–the work of releasing myself from inner and outer prisons much too loud inside my being. Today, that little ‘ping’ finds crystal clarity.

This world cannot be saved by women alone. We are potent creators, givers of life, lovers of fierce and noble men and women alike. But we are not the saviors of this planet.

couples

What I believe to be offered within this quote and so many others like it, is the unshackling of women. Unshackling ourselves from false truths, from ‘nice’ ways of walking in this world, from victim mentalities, from needing to be like men in order to feel equal. And through the unchaining of ourselves, we in turn become sovereign, claiming fully the power that is ours; ours because it lives inside us. This has been a necessary part of the process, however it is not the ultimate destination.

And our men are in the process of doing the same work; of reclaiming themselves, opening their hearts, allowing vulnerability in how they feel, speak and love. It looks different on the outside, but the interior tearing down and raising up is very much the same.

I want to pause here and say it’s not simply about men and women, heterosexual terms. There are many same sex couples whose masculine and feminine energies ignite and balance much the same way as do those of heterosexual couples. Just as some have many lovers while others choose marriage or monogamy. Drop the rules. Toss out the old language and see beyond the surface.

Women and men alike – masculine and feminine energy each coming together in sacred union, in fiery passion and expansive love for each other – that is what will change this world. It’s the allowance within each one of us that creates the massive alchemy required to open hearts, ignite wombs, heal heartache, empower the generations that follow. It’s a dance of masculine and feminine burning in the fires together in whatever form you wish to take it: your own inner marriage of the two and/or your partnering with the ‘opposing’ energy.

The key is wide open embrace to oneself. The more we steep in the heat of our true expression, our raw emotions, our pure essence, unique personal power and way of walking this world, the deeper we come alive. We bring that life to our work, our creativity, our health, our conversations, to our love and to our partners. There is a holy fire of union shared between us and the masculine/feminine counterparts we choose and are.

Women will change the world. Men will change the world. The masculine is a driving force in blazing new trails, just as the feminine is the passion for doing so. Each burning on its own, expanding to new depths and heights through the mutual love and merging. Making love will change the world. It’s all in how you choose to do it.

From the Diary of a Sensual Woman

Sensuality is about FEELING, sinking into our senses, allowing pleasure to penetrate us fully and tingle through every cell in our body. It’s about becoming the energy of whatever you are engaging, so much so that a merging occurs and you are no longer separate. Sensual energy ‘wakes up’ the fullness of who we are, seducing us to move deeper and deeper into the ecstatic state of euphoric heart stimulation.

I am a sensual woman, deep into the core of my being. The more I acknowledge and embrace that truth, the more I am immersed into the sacredness of its presence. Allowing myself to speak the language, feel the vibrations, walk the walk and ‘talk the talk’ is more and more opening me up to what it IS to be a sensual woman.

'Desire' by Lauri Blank
‘Desire’ by Lauri Blank

Let me, for a moment, tell you what it is not. It’s not an open invitation for either male or female to assume I desire to be sexual with you. It’s not a statement that I am soliciting sexual comments or activity. It’s not about flaunting myself or hanging a sign outside my door that says ‘always open to lewdness.’

It’s sacred, my friends. It comes from the center of my heart. It’s aroused by connection to something that moves me, that stirs me from the deepest place inside myself. In my younger years, it was strictly outside of me, because I couldn’t grasp the enormity of who I am. I couldn’t begin to relate to sensuality being nothing about sex and everything about the heart. Because in our world, we get it wrong. We confuse the two. And I am here to assist us in dropping the weighted view of our sensuality as well as the warped sense of sexuality we have inherited. I am here to show you how holy it is to sink into our senses, to feel everything – including our beautiful way of being sexual in this world – but from the INSIDE OUT.

So please, do not assume I want to engage in continual sexual innuendo. If you don’t whisper or ignite a fire in my heart as well as my body, ours is an empty connection.

Sexuality. This is Your Conscience.

These were the words accompanying this image, linking it to a post apparently no longer visible. The words and image alone stirred something inside myself. Sexuality has a conscience? What does that look like or mean?

What it felt like inside me, this sensual pairing of words and visual imagery, was yet another layer of liberating the censorship and darkening of our sexuality. It felt like setting her free, letting her breathe and dance and become drunk on her own self, lost in the ecstatic bliss of falling into love with being love, making love, becoming love. Too many barriers to doing so. Too much judgment and labeling of what is right and what is wrong. Overload of illusion and lies.

golden shoes

 

It’s changing though, shifting course with rapid and fiery pace. Are you experiencing it? Perhaps it’s especially potent for me, having stuffed, quieted and barely recognized my own sexuality all these years. We came into this life knowing one another very well. As I’ve shared here before, I have always loved the idea of sex, the sensual connection we feel in our bodies when in touch with something erotic. And really – that can be absolutely anything.

What if the ‘conscience’ of sexuality is symbolized in this image? It evokes a luxury of presence, a confidence, richness, deep sense of being. We might imagine a woman that knows who she is, feeling beautifully and radiantly comfortable in her own skin. For me, the image pulls forth a full body response. The rest of her story draws me and her presence is alluring.

This is how I want to walk through this life. Ever on the verge of being penetrated by the mystical, drenching in sacredness all around me. It’s more and more what my entire being is waking up to, re-membering. The conditioning has very little hold anymore. So what I know in this moment, is that if my sexuality has a conscience, it runs crystal clear, always holy and sometimes very, very red hot.