Speaking Sexuality Out Loud

Dissolving the shame around our sexuality isn’t exclusive to women – or to men. Nor is it simply about those who are in heterosexual male/female relationships. We’re entering a space where the delicate balance of masculine and feminine are coming together – finding center. There are women who relate more to the masculine way of being, and men whose natural tendencies and desires are in the feminine realm.

We’re expanding the conversation now – and it’s going to get hot. Hot in the ways we desire, yes – increased arousal, fires burning in all the right places; but also hot in the ways that make us uncomfortable, fidgety in our seats, ready to lash out and defend what feels true in ourselves.

There’s been an imbalance in our world through the reign of patriarchy. We’ve all played into it – men and women alike. And for some time now there have been women’s groups and organizations, books, websites, conferences and Red Tent gatherings centered around the empowerment, the healing, the opening and release of the wounds we have carried for generations and lifetimes. So many of us know stories of our aunts, mothers and grandmothers having experienced sexual abuse at the hands of men. And in truth – that certainly still happens.

Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva
Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva

We’ve put much energy, heart and time into healing these wounds, empowering ourselves, finding our voices and releasing the demons that plague our past. Women are experiencing liberation, dissolving shame and opening to the intimate, hidden places in our sexual libraries. We love to be sexual. We desire to be wanted, adored. We carry a passion so deep it can ignite inside us in a heartbeat. These are our truths.

It’s time now to give our men the same leeway in expressing their sexual truths. Let us allow them to speak of the sexual intensity present in their own bodies, give them room to unleash the raw desire and lust that lives within their masculine way of walking this earth. Our men, this generation of men along with this generation of women, deserve no less than to be able to speak boldly and openly of their sexual desires. It’s the hiding away, the shaming, the blame and the judgment of what is wrong ¬†and not acceptable that has driven us to acting out our sexuality in secret, in dark places where it has little room to flourish, to burn, to breathe as the truth of what it is.

It may feel uncomfortable in us at times. And ladies, let’s be fair – there are certainly moments our open expression has felt the same to our male counterparts. Let us now come together as equals, processing and releasing¬†the shackles of our history, the wounding, the heartache, the blame. Let us honor each other as who we are in our sexuality, in our hunger and ravenous desire to explore the depths of our bodies, our passion, our fires together. We have certainly come far enough to engage the conversation, to speak boldly and honestly our truths to one another and find in the process an acceptance and even celebration of what is real and true in ourselves and each other.

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Don’t Fuck with Feminine Intuition

Strong language, I know. It’s necessary though, for what I’m about to share with you.

I became aware of it last year, witnessing myself and other women in my circles. And if there was anything this last year of my life was very much about – it was women in my circles. I can sense the shift for 2015, but that’s another post for another time.

What I started seeing was a pattern in us as women. When our intuitive voice begins speaking, when the ancient wisdom that we are more and more stepping up and claiming as real and true and alive and raw starts to activate – we have a response that for many, I feel, we are not fully aware is present.

What I noticed in myself was a sensation of what appeared to be jealousy, and was even perceived as jealousy by one of the most intimate female relationships I had at the time. I began to question my own self – WAS I jealous?

Feminine wisdom

Jealousy is a word, an emotion, an energetic frequency that has ‘plagued’ my consciousness since I can remember. We’ve talked about that here and especially through my wildly popular post Beautiful Truth of the Green Eyed Monster. I don’t believe it’s as simple as ‘ being jealous.’ And when writing that particular post, I felt the pulse of something alive and naked in stating I don’t believe it’s jealousy at all. It’s a quest for love.

What I feel even more so now, is that’s true. AND, it’s our feminine intuition at play. I’ve witnessed women on multiple occasions move into a space of negative self talk and judgment about being insecure, unempowered, jealous, etc. when what was really going on is that they were sensing something that was beyond the physical line of sight. These women’s intuitive senses, the kind that are housed in the feminine womb, the center of our power especially when united to the heart, these senses have been turned on in these women – women who very much understand who they are. These are women who are tapping deep into the ancient ways of knowing, the ways of sensing and intuiting and connecting what is true in the Mysteries. And when they were being triggered that something in THEM was ‘off,’ needy, wrong, out of balance – what was really happening is that they were sensing intuitively something that may have felt uncomfortable and in many cases, required some realignment of their lives, belief systems or actions.

We’ve become so accustomed over lifetimes and experiences to ignoring what we feel. We’ve been told it’s wrong and we’re wrong for feeling it. So with time and repeated patterning, we’ve come to equate our intuitive senses with a hole that exists inside of us. I’m calling bullshit. It’s not real and it’s not true.

This is not to say we don’t have places in ourselves where we don’t feel whole or perhaps even act from a sense of who we are. I’m not speaking of that directly. I’m speaking of myself and of women who are in their bodies, in their hearts, and are waking up their senses in ways we haven’t known for centuries. It’s foreign to us, so we chalk it up to something that’s wrong with us inside for even having such an inkling.

And it’s not conscious. We aren’t aware it’s even happening at first. For me, it occurred on three separate occasions, offering a clear validation of what I began ‘seeing’ from a gentler perspective. The intuition, the knowing, was crystal clear. And initially it was only in looking back at a situation that the clarity revealed itself.

So I offer this to you, one woman to another. The next time you hear the self talk telling you you’re jealous, you’re insecure, you just want attention – take a step back, sink into yourself and ask if there is something deeper presenting itself to you. Ask yourself what it is that you ‘know’ that might feel foreign or uncomfortable in your body, in your psyche. Allow room for the possibility that it’s not your ‘ego’ but your beautiful feminine wisdom that is on lead. Trust her and give her room to lead you where she will.

I feel there is so much more here to discover, to unveil. We are so programmed to quiet our voice – both within and without. The ways in which it speaks to us are both miraculous and immense. No more quieting or hiding it away.