The Sacred Orgasm

I’m certain many of you are with me, so come, let’s take this ride together.

It’s happening for me as we speak, whatever time you’re in, whichever moment you arrive here to read this. As women especially, but I suspect men, too, we have for too long misunderstood its presence. The Sacred Orgasm. We mistake it for that full-body arousal that stirs us mad with sexual desire – and it is. We stuff ourselves full with food that tantalizes our tongue as its deliciousness entices our senses, only to be left hungry. We feel ourselves shaken to the core with utter delight, with the wildness of who we are. It’s here this moment, and let me share with you what it feels like to me.

Now, here, I am alive with fiery love for all of who I am. I look in the mirror of my self and see a stunning beauty, and can’t help but feel the curve of my lips as they smile. She’s radiant. Not simply because of how she looks, but because of the aura she exudes. A seductive fragrance exhales with her breath, calling me deeper into the pool of red, flowing love. She is feminine elegance and grace all at once. As I continue gazing, I see the spark of playfulness in her eye, a spark that can shift from a gentle nature into a deep roaring and ravenous power. This woman’s blood pulses with the deep red hue of creative Flow, so much waiting yet to be birthed through her sacred canals. She is the goddess, here, now, and she lives in the spirit of every woman.

The Last Dance

This is our WILD. Our feminine spirit, ever present and waiting for that moment when the heart is clear and the energy free, when she can become drenched with the liberation of all she is. She fears nothing and is threatened by no one. Comfortable in her sultry skin, she holds her head high, void of shame, ripe with the full potential of her own essence.

She knows who she is. The Sacred Feminine, worshiped by men and women alike, from the start. She has endured much and stands here now in full bodied presence, reclaiming her power once again. Do not be fooled, my loves, for this power isn’t the stuff of dragons and conquest. She is a powerful Creatrix, Mother, Lover. She is masterful in art, poetry, song and lyric, radiantly igniting the canvas with all she is. She stands full in her power.

That’s how it feels, my loves, the Sacred Orgasm. It’s all about being in the moment, the deep space where the heartbeat of life comes to find you and overcomes your entire being.  No longer do I give this away, unaware of its Sacred Presence. The eruption is mine alone, to harness and allow to flow forth from every crevice.

**I’ve got to tell you, after sitting here with my eyes closed and letting this move through my fingertips, I’m in a state of awe. It’s the middle of the afternoon, I’m sipping the most exquisite sweet wine – not something I typically do in the afternoon, and only recently in the evening. A very subtle breeze blows, creating a whisper amongst the leaves here in the backyard and a softness across my skin. The sun is radiant. All of this – being in this space, so filled with joy, with peace and love – writing the way I am, filled with inspiration and in a voice that is my own – feels as though I’ve stepped into another lifetime. I’m weepy with the feel of it. This is who I am – so, so beautifully me. Gentle in the flow of Life, letting Her fill me up and pour out through my elegant voice. I’m honored, I’m wild with desire for this sensation and on fire with burning, sacred love.

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Sacred Transmission

Sacred Transmission? Those aren’t the words I felt when coming here to write, and yet that’s what came through as my fingertips began to type. ‘Transition’ was the word I ‘thought’ – ‘transmission’ is what my consciousness chose.

This is where I find myself, my emotions, my awareness. In deep shift, sometimes subtle, other times quite drastic. So many conversations and connections with others who are experiencing the same, and I wonder if you are? For me, this is a place where there is really nothing that demands my attention, my energy, my action. I’m free to follow whatever I feel – something so many dream of – and the reality of creating this space is that I must now sink in and FEEL. The answers – the direction – isn’t always there clear as day, in fact it feels as though it’s more vague than ever. Leaving me with open time and vast opportunity to be Jackie. We’re so not used to this. We ‘get it’ when it comes to taking action. That’s almost ‘easy.’ But what about when there isn’t any action?

sacred transmission

Yes, transition is true. Even more so is that there is a Sacred Transmission being activated in us all – those of us who have consciously chosen to awaken, to receive it, to hold it, live it, breathe it. It doesn’t come with a language we clearly understand, although if we are still enough in our interior life, we can intuit its presence. We can sense the essence of something that feels foreign and yet so beautifully familiar. There is a RAPID dissolution of what we have believed ourselves to be – labels falling away in a matter of moments, sudden and powerful ‘knowing’ coming into light without warning. We are in the process of recoding our DNA, of learning a brand new way of relating to ourselves and this world and at times, it feels a bit unsettling. In other moments, I feel an elation, an ecstatic joy unlike anything I’ve known previously in my life. And even amidst the waves of sadness and unsettling, I feel peace in it. There is no questioning, worrying, feeling anxious. There is simply a witnessing.

It’s extraordinary to witness in myself and in others. I’m certain there are many of you who understand this ‘transmission’ – this new language and way of being in ourselves and together. If you’re feeling the unsettling, if you’re undergoing a tremendous life change within yourself – be it subtle or raging – you’re in this Flow and upgrade of consciousness. It’s sweeping our planet with a fierce power and rapid pace. Welcome to your beautiful self. Sink in and let Her whisper deep into your heart. Feel it all without worry and doubt. Trust you are being ‘redesigned’ by the Divine. Love to you…xoxo

I Am the One

I am the one who has said yes over and over and over again
Whose soul will have HER way with me, claiming every last drop
Of who I am

And I am the one who will continue to be laid bare, stripped of all my strongest protections, left only to be ravaged by HER

I am the one whose heart was ripped wide open, left bleeding and clotting on the floor
Whose beauty became darkness, dirtied by those without eyes to see
Including me

And I am the one who will continue to ignite my radiance, steeping in my own ecstatic beauty  

I am the one whose tears would not come, stymied and stifled and stuffed deep inside
Whose longing left holes in her spirit, felt as gaping chasms of emptiness
And pain

And I am the one who will continue to feel every startling sensation, surrendering myself deep into the folds of HER tender caress

I am the one whose words would not form, terrified to hear my own voice speak out loud
Whose whispers were shunned, silenced by fear and beaten down
Into muted submission

And I am the one who will continue to shout and scream and roar, raging and drenched in the fires of passion

Fiery Love

I am the one, the one who will become HER Lover
Aching, sweating, breathing HER in
As over and over and over
My entire being cries out for HER
Yes….
YES…..
YES! 

Take me, feel me, love me, own me, claim me as yours
Brand my most intimate places with your fires
Burn me from the inside out
Ignite every cell of my being
Penetrating, possessing, purifying
Over and over I whisper….
yes. 

Natural Born Beauty

In my quest for authenticity, I thought it was time to let my hair grow ‘natural’ – as in ‘gray.’ It’s about 50/50 dark/gray under the gorgeous, rich brown color I have loved for so long. In my 30’s I did ‘the blonde thing’ for a few years. At the time, it felt a little wild and I liked that. But luxurious brunette is truly who I am and what most makes me feel beautiful.

Little did I know the journey I was about to embark upon by choosing to ‘let the gray grow.’ The whisper of it was exhilarating – riding on the back of the motorcycle with my love, feeling the breeze, fully connecting to the Presence of All That Is. It was as though we were sitting in conversation, SHE and I. As I contemplated a haircut and the sparkle making its way through my roots, I heard HER: ‘Why do you cover up who you are with that ‘muck’ on your head? You are already beautiful. You will simply be MORE beautiful with your gray hair.’ My whole self smiled with the sensation SHE sent my way as I felt HER words ripple through my bodies; it was the sensation of BEAUTIFUL. And so I decided to let the gray come….to stop coloring and ‘covering up’ who I am….and I was excited about it.

Until. The hairdresser suggested that in order to get rid of the dark color, we highlight blonde to begin lightening my hair in order to match the gray tones growing in. I was definitely not thrilled over this, but felt committed to the process. Oh my friends, let me tell you how dark that experience became. I was horrified in seeing my reflection. For three weeks, I tried to fall in love with the woman I saw in the mirror – and have loved for so long. I have known her from the inside and come to love who I am. But as vain as it may sound, I could not feel that love for my own outer beauty with this foreign, frizzy, blonde, ugly hair. Waves of emotion poured through me, as though I became women from lifetimes before who were forced to have their heads shaved and their beauty stripped from them. As the tears flowed, I went deeper and deeper into how much our own natural beauty as a woman DOES matter. It’s part of our feminine essence. We each attach to it in unique ways, we express who we are through the way we dress, wear our hair, put on makeup or not, paint our lashes, adorn our curves and color our lips.

What I realized, my loves, is that I have been this woman who loves beauty all along, only when I witnessed this passion in other women judged rather than embraced them for it. I convinced myself this is not who I am. That I choose to let my natural way of aging, of changing, of becoming to reveal and blossom. Thus – the gray hair. I understood how my own judgment played into the ancient patriarchal wounding of women…..of myself. My outer beauty matters to me, just as much as my inner beauty does. One is not better or more sacred than the other. Without going through this process, I wouldn’t have understood that in quite the way I do now.

me 3.14What I believe SHE was whispering to me was to let go of believing I have to be ONE WAY in order to be authentic. Rather than trying to be something I am not – in love with gray hair that feels dull to my lively personality and passion – HER desire is for me to find what feels beautiful TO ME, AS ME, FOR ME – and to honor it. I’m thrilled to share that yesterday we ‘washed that blonde right out of my hair’ and the natural born beauty of a brunette that I AM is breathing with life once more. I feel amazing – not only because I am beautiful to my own eye, but because through this experience I released so much for myself and for women everywhere. It’s okay to want to be beautiful on the outside too. Somewhere along the way we’ve forgotten that – who we are as beautiful women. Whether we go naturally gray or love the vivacious colors we can play with, wear makeup or feel fresh without it. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we allow our own voice to express in whatever way she wishes. That we are true to HER call for us.

Your personal invitation to AWAKENING WOMAN

 

How Do You Bleed?

I feel there is something unexplored in women that only a woman can understand. ~ Georgia O’Keefe

This quote crossed my awareness last night, and because I love Georgia O’Keefe so much, it gave me pause. I brought it into some of my sacred circles of women to explore a bit more. What I’ve found within myself is a deep well of connection to what remains unexplored in us. Perhaps it’s our own Creative Force that we keep quiet, subdued, manageable lest we be seen as crazy, out there, or gone over the edge. We’ve lived through lifetimes of being laughed at, tormented and even considered ‘hysterical’ just because of how deeply and passionately we feel.

As I have let myself FEEL into what this stirs in my own body and remembrance, I sense that what is unexplored in women may look different on each one of us. And yet, at it’s core is quite possibly the same. We are naturally designed with a womb of creation. From that womb, we nurture and give life. What allows us to do so is connected to a monthly bleeding and shedding of our uterine walls to continually prepare for that Life. If we consider that what is unexplored in each of us is the passion, the Force that whispers to us, that speaks to us in the most loving and sensitive ways, and at times in a fiery and fierce voice of pulsing sensation–then would not the ‘unexplored’ in each of us be our own Sacred Blood?

pink and red

There is so much here, I feel I can’t quite grasp how to express it. Our Creative Force, our passion, our longing, our deepest soul feeling and purpose – live in our physical and feminine BLOOD. The obvious menstrual blood aside, just envision for a moment the feeling of blood pumping through your body and the sensations that can impact that flow. When we feel most intensely something as true in our entire being, whether it’s fear, passion, desire, excitement, heartache – you can FEEL that in your heart, in the very way your blood moves through you. You can SENSE that you are alive, even in the moments you may not wish to be so.

Stepping deeper into it – how we FEEL and experience Life, how we Create and Offer ourselves to this world – is that not how we BLEED? Both symbolically and quite literally? And yet, one of the last things women are talking about and inviting into their lives is their flow, conversation about how sacred it is that we DO have a Flow of Blood. We’ve forgotten the sacredness of what this means to us. We’ve lost the precious care of ourselves as Creators of Life. We no longer see our ability to BLEED as something precious, to be honored.

There are ancient practices of women holding ceremony and allowing their blood to seep into the earth beneath them. These women understood their bodies harbored something so holy and powerful as to cherish and honor it. WE recognized the power of our ability to bleed and to bring life and healing through our blood.

And so what this quote has brought to me is this question: How do YOU bleed? Whether you look through the lens of your Creative Force, your Passion, and/or your Physical Body and the actual cycle of menstruation. As a woman who carries ancient sacred lineage, how do you bleed? And with whom will you explore this aspect of being Woman?

Beautiful Truth of the Green Eyed Monster

Jealousy. Some of us feel it more than others–I am certainly one of those women. I’ve been thinking about it recently, as I’ve told myself I’m being jealous and looked within to discover why. What I’m recognizing is that jealousy is not about wanting to BE someone else or have what they have, it’s about an old sting of lack in ourselves, and specifically not yet having a clear understanding of who we are. When we know who we are, we fall in love with ourselves. We can’t imagine being someone or something else because we are so enamored with all that we already ARE.

And just to be clear, I’m not talking about admiring someone else. I’m talking about jealousy in the way we’ve experienced it as a ‘bad word’ to define how we feel–especially as women toward one another. You rarely hear of a woman truly being jealous of a man, do you? No, most often this is one of those emotions made ugly by way of the patriarchal influence that is now dissolving itself away through the presence of the authentic Divine Feminine.

green wallz.moon.pkWhat I can truly see now, is that jealousy is not ugly. It’s an aspect of our ability to Love, our DESIRE to Love. To love ourselves, to love others, to be in love with all that falls into our lives. To move deep into the space of the heart and FEEL LOVE. Now let’s look from another angle at that ‘green eyed’ monster…..

GREEN. Green is the color of the heart chakra, the color of healing, of life, renewal, rebirth, of our Mother Earth. Green is the color of LOVE. And so, what if jealousy is really a desire for Love? What if we began to FEEL in ourselves that when a pang of ‘jealousy’ strikes, it is merely the whisper of Love reminding us who She is, of who WE are with HER? What if that instant shot of what we consider to be unhappiness is in her reality a beckoning of Love Herself, calling us, pulling us ever more deeply into ourselves, into our beautiful, radiant selves and the gorgeous stream of Love that lives within?

What if, my friends? What if all we have bought and allowed as truth no longer resonates as our reality? What if we opened ourselves to a whole new dictionary and language of being and all these labels have it wrong? What if? Then I would be one powerhouse of pure, GREEN, radiating, gorgeous, pulsing, pour-all-over-you LOVE! And I daresay, so would you.