Channeled Musing

Feminine Power of Penetration: No More Playing Small

I love the sensation of being penetrated. There’s nothing like the presence of my lover buried deep inside me with a fire of passion that calls us together, blazing in the heat of sweet surrender. What I’ve come to understand recently is that even as I am being penetrated physically and energetically by my love, there is a simultaneous penetration of my own taking place.

In the act of making love, the penis enters the vagina. Repeatedly. We’ve understood this for years to be the way of sex. We’ve also experienced and attached to it the idea that men have the power and women surrender ourselves to that power. There can be a beautiful truth in this reality, but it requires that we let go of the histories with which we have become so familiar. We must relinquish our role as ‘victim’ in the feminine sense, and understand the power of choice in the act of surrender to our love. Surrender isn’t solely about ‘giving in’ – it’s very much about allowing, inviting, welcoming.

Marilyn

Because here’s what’s true, my loves. It’s not only men who penetrate when it comes to making love. We as women carry our own exquisite art of penetration. As we passionately contract our vaginal walls around our man’s presence in our bodies, there is a feminine penetration taking place. He may be buried deep inside us, but our energy and fire surround him fully, penetrating the very essence of his being.

We carry the power to satiate, to ignite, to soothe or spark. Moving in harmony with all his body communicates to us, we have the ability to receive all he offers, simultaneously injecting our adoration, tenderness, healing fires into his being.  This is the energy of the feminine. She is the giver of life, healer, seductress. She is the balm that cures whatever ails her lover. When we as women really begin to sense, allow and embrace this truth, it transforms us, our lovers, our entire sexual experience.

The desire for penetration is real – male or female, masculine or feminine. The power to do so exists in each one of us. This is our time to stand up and claim our power, to step out of our smallness, proclaiming who we are as loud and strong as we need. Women who honor the fullness of who we are become graced with the gift of cleansing and awakening penetration. We tap into something still lurking in the shadows of our time. We change the story and shift the scales. There is no more separation of the masculine and feminine through the energy of victim/perpetrator. We become lovers of one another, exchanging the gift of entrance and invitation with each other. This is where our power lies. And it’s time we owned it all.

Advertisements

I Make Love to Change the World

The world will be saved by the western woman. ~ Dalai Lama

We’ve all heard this quote by now, haven’t we? We’ve ridden the wagon of feminine empowerment, liberation, freedoms for some time–and made great progress with still more to come. Women are more and more unveiling and embracing the truth of who we are, of the power we carry, of the ways in which our presence and energy impact this world.

I don’t believe it’s as simple as this quote, however. In fact, something inside me has shown up in questioning response since I read it. I couldn’t hear it at first–the work of releasing myself from inner and outer prisons much too loud inside my being. Today, that little ‘ping’ finds crystal clarity.

This world cannot be saved by women alone. We are potent creators, givers of life, lovers of fierce and noble men and women alike. But we are not the saviors of this planet.

couples

What I believe to be offered within this quote and so many others like it, is the unshackling of women. Unshackling ourselves from false truths, from ‘nice’ ways of walking in this world, from victim mentalities, from needing to be like men in order to feel equal. And through the unchaining of ourselves, we in turn become sovereign, claiming fully the power that is ours; ours because it lives inside us. This has been a necessary part of the process, however it is not the ultimate destination.

And our men are in the process of doing the same work; of reclaiming themselves, opening their hearts, allowing vulnerability in how they feel, speak and love. It looks different on the outside, but the interior tearing down and raising up is very much the same.

I want to pause here and say it’s not simply about men and women, heterosexual terms. There are many same sex couples whose masculine and feminine energies ignite and balance much the same way as do those of heterosexual couples. Just as some have many lovers while others choose marriage or monogamy. Drop the rules. Toss out the old language and see beyond the surface.

Women and men alike – masculine and feminine energy each coming together in sacred union, in fiery passion and expansive love for each other – that is what will change this world. It’s the allowance within each one of us that creates the massive alchemy required to open hearts, ignite wombs, heal heartache, empower the generations that follow. It’s a dance of masculine and feminine burning in the fires together in whatever form you wish to take it: your own inner marriage of the two and/or your partnering with the ‘opposing’ energy.

The key is wide open embrace to oneself. The more we steep in the heat of our true expression, our raw emotions, our pure essence, unique personal power and way of walking this world, the deeper we come alive. We bring that life to our work, our creativity, our health, our conversations, to our love and to our partners. There is a holy fire of union shared between us and the masculine/feminine counterparts we choose and are.

Women will change the world. Men will change the world. The masculine is a driving force in blazing new trails, just as the feminine is the passion for doing so. Each burning on its own, expanding to new depths and heights through the mutual love and merging. Making love will change the world. It’s all in how you choose to do it.

Speaking Sexuality Out Loud

Dissolving the shame around our sexuality isn’t exclusive to women – or to men. Nor is it simply about those who are in heterosexual male/female relationships. We’re entering a space where the delicate balance of masculine and feminine are coming together – finding center. There are women who relate more to the masculine way of being, and men whose natural tendencies and desires are in the feminine realm.

We’re expanding the conversation now – and it’s going to get hot. Hot in the ways we desire, yes – increased arousal, fires burning in all the right places; but also hot in the ways that make us uncomfortable, fidgety in our seats, ready to lash out and defend what feels true in ourselves.

There’s been an imbalance in our world through the reign of patriarchy. We’ve all played into it – men and women alike. And for some time now there have been women’s groups and organizations, books, websites, conferences and Red Tent gatherings centered around the empowerment, the healing, the opening and release of the wounds we have carried for generations and lifetimes. So many of us know stories of our aunts, mothers and grandmothers having experienced sexual abuse at the hands of men. And in truth – that certainly still happens.

Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva
Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva

We’ve put much energy, heart and time into healing these wounds, empowering ourselves, finding our voices and releasing the demons that plague our past. Women are experiencing liberation, dissolving shame and opening to the intimate, hidden places in our sexual libraries. We love to be sexual. We desire to be wanted, adored. We carry a passion so deep it can ignite inside us in a heartbeat. These are our truths.

It’s time now to give our men the same leeway in expressing their sexual truths. Let us allow them to speak of the sexual intensity present in their own bodies, give them room to unleash the raw desire and lust that lives within their masculine way of walking this earth. Our men, this generation of men along with this generation of women, deserve no less than to be able to speak boldly and openly of their sexual desires. It’s the hiding away, the shaming, the blame and the judgment of what is wrong  and not acceptable that has driven us to acting out our sexuality in secret, in dark places where it has little room to flourish, to burn, to breathe as the truth of what it is.

It may feel uncomfortable in us at times. And ladies, let’s be fair – there are certainly moments our open expression has felt the same to our male counterparts. Let us now come together as equals, processing and releasing the shackles of our history, the wounding, the heartache, the blame. Let us honor each other as who we are in our sexuality, in our hunger and ravenous desire to explore the depths of our bodies, our passion, our fires together. We have certainly come far enough to engage the conversation, to speak boldly and honestly our truths to one another and find in the process an acceptance and even celebration of what is real and true in ourselves and each other.

Unraveling: ‘Spiritual Healing’ Not Required

It’s been quiet here–you may have noticed. Or perhaps not. This year, 2015, has brought with her many challenges and undoings, my health especially. I learned of my thyroid illness just after the birth of my son – nearly 21 years ago now. There were some times of struggle, but they’ve been in the distant past. Until now.

Discovering how jeopardized my health has been with the current condition of my thyroid was actually both shocking and quite devastating. In the midst of a virus type illness, I had a blood test, only to learn the number which should be around 4 was actually 41. In an instant I felt how deeply (and unconsciously) I’d been fooling myself with the belief my fatigue was due to a very busy autumn and holiday season. The path back to feeling well again feels so much longer than I’d like it to be. My health has been part of my vitality. To suddenly not have that feels foreign and to me.

Unraveling

At the same time I’m maneuvering this new way of loving myself, I’ve also dropped a lot of the labels and roles I felt were mine. They no longer seem to fit. Not because of my health, but alongside it.

What I’m discovering is a new way of being me, of loving me, of allowing myself all that is true. Every ugly emotion, every moment of feeling discouraged or alone, every new path that leads only to me. There are very few who will stand beside you and celebrate who you are outside of the spiritual ‘rules’ of healing yourself, being positive and uplifting, staying in love. Rules and expectations that actually closet pieces of our true nature, our raw emotions.

It occurred to me one afternoon as I rested and wrestled within myself that to so many in what I term the ‘spiritual’ community it might appear as though I’m immune to some deeper issue that is making me sick. Something about unblocking my 5th chakra, changing my diet, cleansing my energy field. We have somehow allowed into our spiritual lives this list of rules by which we are supposed to be living if we are in fact on a path of healing and wholeness. That list includes not being a victim and in some cases, not saying how you truly feel without the disclaimer of ‘but I know it’s all with purpose.’ A disclaimer that too often sets aside our pure (and dark) emotions of frustration, anger, discouragement, heartache. We are celebrated in our becoming. Who will stand at our side through the unbecoming?

In truth – it has to be us – ourselves. It’s not about anyone else understanding or celebrating our individual path. That’s the sharp realization I had that day on the couch. In my own inner dialogue I heard other people’s voices seeming to say ‘you’re not doing anything to heal yourself.’ My own voice respond with a truth that I am healing. Even in lying on the couch, feeling down and without any energy, unable to tap into something ‘sacred’ in my body – even in that moment, I knew, I felt my truth.

In simply being me, in allowing the illness to do its work as it is – I am healing. We forget the value of being much too easily. I find myself sinking deeper into its power as I am able to do less of the daily activities that were just a short bit ago a very big part of my life. The truth that continues to come is I am not who I was even a few months ago. Everything is different. I cannot tell you why or what comes next, I can only speak to where I am in this moment. I know who I am – and yet the question dances in my dreams – who am I now?

Illness is my Lover

I’m a woman who demands her lovers. They’re a necessary part of my life and have been for as long as I can remember. I crave and thrive upon the sensual stirrings, the intimacy, the deep connection to something that is greater than anything else this life has to offer. So imagine my surprise recently when illness began her sultry seduction.

We’re attuned to illness being something to ‘get rid off.’ During the two weeks I laid quietly and gently on the couch, there were some who shared their thoughts of what ‘to take’ or how to ‘get better.’ Only – I wasn’t trying to get better. Just a day or two in to the emptiness I felt in my body, I opted to give myself fully to the fatigue and congestion. Each time my mind wanted to mourn the discomfort or wonder just how long we would have to do this, I returned to a state of surrender to this place of rest, of nothingness, of stillness and separation from all that exists in the ‘real world.’ I gave myself full permission to be ill.

It goes against our grain in some way. We’re used to surrendering to something that feels ‘spiritual’ or ‘good.’ We’re not so accustomed to letting ourselves be sick. It feels like something must be ‘wrong with us.’ And yet, for me my illness served as a mystical doorway. While everything else in my physical world stood still – the doing, the taking care of others, the need to cook or clean or write or speak – intense movement took shape through my interior world. Relationships changed, my ‘work’ focus streamlined and some of what I had felt so passionate about during the last several months began to lose the pulse of Life my soul requires in order to feel alive. Even in my illness, in the tired state of my physical body, I could feel the vitality of my soul.

Mariska Karto Illness

Illness is my lover – was my lover. She has left for now. It came to me as I neared the end of our affair together – I had given myself completely to her. I knew that – I felt that with full clarity in all of my being. And just as clear was the message it was time to let her go. Our heated passion was over. My body called me to come back into myself fully. And with as much fervor I shifted my energy and now gave myself fully to me.

I actually loved the time during which I felt so unwell. It was a mystical journey deep into myself, with only myself. We are gifted so many lovers in this life, and too often we miss the juice they offer to us. I’ve never in my life felt illness in my being as I did these last two weeks. There are layers of what she brought to me, how she impacted me on very deep levels, what I both released and embraced in myself. I’ll be writing more about this in my book.

For now, I leave you with this. Everything and anything that comes to you has the power to become your lover, to engage all of your senses in a mad, torrid affair of love that will pierce your heart and sear your soul. Surrender into it. Let yourself lie with deep pleasure, feeling the fullness of who you are. THIS is the mystic’s journey – making love with the sacred at every turn.

Don’t Fuck with Feminine Intuition

Strong language, I know. It’s necessary though, for what I’m about to share with you.

I became aware of it last year, witnessing myself and other women in my circles. And if there was anything this last year of my life was very much about – it was women in my circles. I can sense the shift for 2015, but that’s another post for another time.

What I started seeing was a pattern in us as women. When our intuitive voice begins speaking, when the ancient wisdom that we are more and more stepping up and claiming as real and true and alive and raw starts to activate – we have a response that for many, I feel, we are not fully aware is present.

What I noticed in myself was a sensation of what appeared to be jealousy, and was even perceived as jealousy by one of the most intimate female relationships I had at the time. I began to question my own self – WAS I jealous?

Feminine wisdom

Jealousy is a word, an emotion, an energetic frequency that has ‘plagued’ my consciousness since I can remember. We’ve talked about that here and especially through my wildly popular post Beautiful Truth of the Green Eyed Monster. I don’t believe it’s as simple as ‘ being jealous.’ And when writing that particular post, I felt the pulse of something alive and naked in stating I don’t believe it’s jealousy at all. It’s a quest for love.

What I feel even more so now, is that’s true. AND, it’s our feminine intuition at play. I’ve witnessed women on multiple occasions move into a space of negative self talk and judgment about being insecure, unempowered, jealous, etc. when what was really going on is that they were sensing something that was beyond the physical line of sight. These women’s intuitive senses, the kind that are housed in the feminine womb, the center of our power especially when united to the heart, these senses have been turned on in these women – women who very much understand who they are. These are women who are tapping deep into the ancient ways of knowing, the ways of sensing and intuiting and connecting what is true in the Mysteries. And when they were being triggered that something in THEM was ‘off,’ needy, wrong, out of balance – what was really happening is that they were sensing intuitively something that may have felt uncomfortable and in many cases, required some realignment of their lives, belief systems or actions.

We’ve become so accustomed over lifetimes and experiences to ignoring what we feel. We’ve been told it’s wrong and we’re wrong for feeling it. So with time and repeated patterning, we’ve come to equate our intuitive senses with a hole that exists inside of us. I’m calling bullshit. It’s not real and it’s not true.

This is not to say we don’t have places in ourselves where we don’t feel whole or perhaps even act from a sense of who we are. I’m not speaking of that directly. I’m speaking of myself and of women who are in their bodies, in their hearts, and are waking up their senses in ways we haven’t known for centuries. It’s foreign to us, so we chalk it up to something that’s wrong with us inside for even having such an inkling.

And it’s not conscious. We aren’t aware it’s even happening at first. For me, it occurred on three separate occasions, offering a clear validation of what I began ‘seeing’ from a gentler perspective. The intuition, the knowing, was crystal clear. And initially it was only in looking back at a situation that the clarity revealed itself.

So I offer this to you, one woman to another. The next time you hear the self talk telling you you’re jealous, you’re insecure, you just want attention – take a step back, sink into yourself and ask if there is something deeper presenting itself to you. Ask yourself what it is that you ‘know’ that might feel foreign or uncomfortable in your body, in your psyche. Allow room for the possibility that it’s not your ‘ego’ but your beautiful feminine wisdom that is on lead. Trust her and give her room to lead you where she will.

I feel there is so much more here to discover, to unveil. We are so programmed to quiet our voice – both within and without. The ways in which it speaks to us are both miraculous and immense. No more quieting or hiding it away.

Claiming our Feminine Sexuality

We have forgotten we are holy. In the throes of patriarchal rule, we left behind our ability to serve as channels of the sacred. There was a time in the history of women when we were the means through which men (and likely other women) found their way to divine awakening–through the act of being sexually intimate with a woman. We – as women – have forgotten we are holy.

Our sexuality is our own. It belongs solely to us. And yet, we leave it sitting on the shelf until it’s called for by someone else who wants it. We have forgotten how to live and breathe as the sensual beings we are, the holy deities of the Goddess we are. We no longer remember what it is to exude and express that essence beyond the call of our lover to be sexual.

We wait to be desired and wanted as validation of our worth. Rather than understand the purity of being Woman, we set her aside until another confirms through their desire that we are something to be valued, loved, adored, cherished. The question I pose to you today is how do we reconnect to that essence? How do we reclaim our own sexuality in its fullness, in its beauty and hallowed grace?

aphrodite
‘Venus’ by Diego Velazquez, 1599-1660

There are very nice phrases we’ve come to use, such as ‘love yourself first.’ Yes, I believe we’re very much remembering how to do that. And I don’t sense this is about loving ourselves. This is about a fundamental disconnect from our sexuality, from the power of what it is for us as women to own our sexuality and perhaps even more so from an acceptance by ourselves of who we are as sexual beings. We’ve become so ‘pure’ in accordance with societal, religious and cultural expectations–we’ve forgotten who we are.

It’s time to WAKE UP and fully remember who we are as sexual women, as channels and vessels of all that is the Sacred Feminine. We are the very gateways through which our lovers access the divine potency of true ecstasy. And we have forgotten. We must first give ourselves permission to be sexual, to feel sexual, to engage and initiate our sexuality in ways that are new and outside ordinary boundaries and acceptable ways of being. We must press beyond what we have known and felt is safe in our expression, in our remembrance, in our utterance and crying out for what our feminine essence longs to bare. This is our time now. No longer need we fear the repercussion of speaking out, acting out, stepping out on behalf of the heart-womb-body connection. The stirrings that come from within have too long been silenced in fear, punishment and self hatred. Enough. It’s time to claim our sexual power in its fullness, to unleash the volcano of passion of the Sacred Feminine in all her glory and fire.