And Then What Happened?

It feels as though this is the lingering question inside myself. ‘Now what?’ 

We all feel it, don’t we–that thrill and warmth of deep, intimate connection with the Divine. And then what? What happens when we desperately long for it–but seem unable to ‘find’ it? 

It’s true that the Divine is ALWAYS there. I do *know this. And yet I’m wondering ‘why can’t I feel you?’ The question begs contemplation. If the wind is blowing and I can’t feel it–why not? What stands in the way?

These are the thoughts running through myself of late. Then there are moments I have a crisp clarity, realizing focusing too much on the ‘why not’ removes the possibility of it. 

Just now–those words, ‘crisp clarity’ brought insight. What is my vision? It’s like being a seer who can gaze into a crystal ball and always ‘see’ something. Only….suddenly you can’t….and you’re not sure why. 

What’s the vision? ‘Now what?’ 

These are the places I find myself these days. And perhaps focusing on the void keeps us IN it. 

Writing, opening, sharing–feels wonderful–ALIVE! Yet every time I’ve thought of writing, there’s nothing there…and so I don’t. Thank you Janece for your post touching upon the art of writing–and allowing ourselves to do so: The Write Stuff. Allowing. Surrendering. Here they are, my companions of truth once again. 

So, my friends….what happened next is that she picked herself up, stopped focusing on the emptiness and instead welcomed her vision. The magic begins once again…as I look up to see the Red Headed Woodpecker out back again. He’s been around a lot lately and serves as a reminder to ‘march to the beat of our own drum.’ His red head signifies passion, life force. Time to look inward once again…allow the vision to breathe and begin her rhythmic dance. 

Red Headed Woodpecker in the backyard

And as it all unfolds, the 2012 journey to which I DID commit–‘No Comfort Zone‘–continues to shine her light and move us all forward. xo

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On Being a “Good Girl”

At a quiet moment in my day yesterday, I had one of those AHA! moments.  The kind where something that has always been part of your life changes its meaning and form, a light bulb goes off and you become enlightened to a rich awareness.

We all have the dialogue that goes on in the “back” of our thoughts.  That voice that can be our mother, our judge or another archetypal presence.  In this particular instance, it was that “mother” voice within my own consciousness that came to the stage.  I heard her say “that’s right, good girl” in support of what I was doing.  And in that exact moment….the switch flipped!

I really could feel the energy within myself change.  We’ve all experienced these moments, and really, they’re quite stunning are they not?!  In my younger years, I soaked it up every time my mom said out loud or even hinted at me being a “good girl.”  This meant I was loved, and as many of us do I took on that to be a “good girl” – to be loved – I had to be pleasing in my actions and my words.  A rigorous code of conduct began to weave itself within my subconscious, driving me to always be pleasing to others in order to be liked or loved.

But here’s the AHA! moment, my friends.  The entirety of my being realized in the space of a nano-second – this is not true!  The goodness of my “good girl” is love, kindness, joy.  That was what my mom could feel.  THAT was why she said “good girl” to me, filled with loving sentiment.  I didn’t have to get A’s, make sure my mom was happy, try to hide any perceived flaws or mistakes.  I just was me….and that was enough!  I was a “good girl” and indeed am a “good girl” just because I am Jackie.  Just because I love to love, respect people where they are, offer kindness and caring.  And even in the times when I struggle to find this place in myself, the good does not go away.  I don’t have to earn my goodness….it just is!

What a liberating, exhilarating and incredibly uplifting realization!  This changes the whole order of your existence, an AHA! such as this!

You too are GOOD.  Not because you have to be, but because you are.  I love the first line in Mary Oliver’s poem WILD GEESE:  “you do not have to be good.”  What she conveys is you do not have to try to be good by human standards.  You are good in the eyes of the Universe.  Take a pause, and let that sink in.  You ARE good.

Your heart will tell you so.  When you pause….listen to its whispers and feel the goodness that is you.

We Are the Change

Here we are!  It’s 2011 and we’ve made it!  Our world consciousness is shifting….and we are alive to be an active part of the movement.  How absolutely invigorating!  I urge you to see yourself clearly, with full open eyes.  Understand the importance you bring to this time in history, the value of your gifts and talents, the most perfect hologram of love….this being that is YOU.

I’m a firm believer in our spiritual “charts” (astrological) and “contracts” (archetypal).  We were active participants in designing each, determining what course was most conducive to our soul’s journey in this life.   Together with our Master, Teachers, Guides and Loved Ones, we looked into this time of history and chose to be right here, right now!  We orchestrated who we are, what we’ve brought and how we will navigate our way through seeing, knowing, loving ourselves and the world around us.  Doesn’t that reality send a spine-tingling awakening call to your spirit?!

The challenges and triumphs that move us along the highs and lows of our lives, these were meant to be a part of our Earth School.  What we experience here molds us into a perfectly imperfect spirit-human being who can affect change.  We EACH have a contribution to the consciousness on our planet.  The smallest thoughts of love and kindness, to ourselves or to others can make a difference.  Truly….we know this already, do we not?

I really love Gandhi’s quote:  “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”  Well, loved ones….we are the change.  YOU are the change.  Embrace the privilege to be so.  See this era in our Earth’s timeline for just what it is….a tremendous shift in spiritual and self awareness.  Feel within yourself the power of that, the beauty of being alive RIGHT NOW.  And then, take a moment to yourself and breathe deeply into your heart, feeling GRACE envelop you in her warmth.  She is ever with you, lighting your way as you take each step forward in your soul’s voyage here.

And in the presence of grace…..listen…..for your heart whispers to you words that only you can hear.