Opening Up and Stepping Out

Fears will bind us.  Love will free us.  We know this, we’ve heard it so often as we travel in our circles of connection.  And somehow its reality eludes us until a space of our own inner fear is awakened.  

I’m struck by this truth on this lovely morning, as I contemplate my own journey.  Just a few years ago I recall not wanting to talk about the energy of pure Love I felt so strongly within–out of fear that people would reject it.  Seems so silly now, doesn’t it?  Who would reject LOVE?  And yet, in my own dialogue lived the belief that it was too ‘fluffy,’ too ‘positive’–TOO much!  Looking back now I realize how fearful I was to allow love to flow freely within and without.

Caroline Myss talks about the ego’s fear of humiliation as the chain that holds us in place.  To step fully into the grace of who we are, to allow our spirit to shine as it so naturally desires to, to enter the sacredness of our souls and be at peace with ourselves–we often have to let go of the fear we’ll be humiliated for it.  We have to let go and just trust the Universe holds us in her arms and is always there to catch us, whatever may come.  And here’s what has proven true for me friends: the fear is so much greater than any humiliation that has come.  For in reality, the humiliation enters from my OWN monkey mind.  I was my soul’s greatest enemy in those moments.  It was my own ego that silenced the voice of my spirit.

And here’s what else is true:  to take the risk, to let go, to choose to BE me no matter what may come–incredibly liberating and deeply gratifying.  There is a sense of openness, connection, purity, grace that occurs.  So much so, that I struggle to find the words to define it.  And so I’ll leave it at this:  there is so much love in my heart–in ALL of our hearts–that to contain it closes us off from the sacred journey we are here to travel. 

For in truth, the humiliation transforms into humility of spirit.  We see the greatness of our spirit, and recognize the folly of our ego.  Only when we understand the dance of these two, only when we can fully acknowledge both the shadow and light of our presence do we move forward into empowerment, and one of the greatest gifts offered to us: authenticity.

This is my heart’s desire.  To live authentically, connecting with all of Life, offering the service of my soul to uplift and honor our planet.  This is the seed I choose to nurture.  And the result will be the beautiful, bountiful blossoms of Divine Love.  This is my truth.  I know it’s so because I’m listening and I hear it echoed…in the whispers of my heart…..

Listening to the Hunger

Delicious food is one of those things I most love, and it’s typically very easy to determine which kind of food I would enjoy on any given day.  Within moments of asking myself what would taste divine, there’s an answer speaking very clearly of which delectable treat will satisfy today’s appetite.  I’m not one to diet or restrict my eating habits–at least not at this point in my life.  And so this process of selecting foods that delight my senses is one that often brings contented “fullness.”

While walking this morning, however, I could feel that usual question of “what would be delicious today” come into my mind.  Contemplating my own inner desires, it was difficult to settle on something that would satisfy the hunger.  My most favorite things even–left me feeling empty.  As the question from my soul came into my awareness, there was a hesitation to even consider it.  “What then, am I truly hungry for?”  If not food–then what? 

The hunger is for a deeper connection.  To myself, to Spirit, to the purity of my soul.  It’s a longing that cannot be quieted with culinary favorites.  There’s a yearning in the depths of who I am that calls to me, beckoning me further into the very cells of my being.  I don’t know what I’ll find there–and in the briefest of moments fear I may not find at all what I know I’m so, so hungry for–Divine light, an inner truth as yet unknown.  And yet…the call keeps coming–the hunger grows and can be fed only with introspection, openness and surrender.

I wonder what you might find within yourself should you ask this very same question.  “What are you truly hungry for?”  While the words may vary for each of us, the ultimate truth is the same.  Love and connection–to ourselves, to one another, to the Divine.  We long to feel our own existence in every possible way.  Our every effort striving to be, to feel, to live with purpose and vigor.  And so the hunger calls….leaving empty the space of myself that at times is so easy to fill and satiate. 

That fullness eludes me today.  Instead it’s the food of the Sacred my soul aches to experience.  I choose to listen.  To respond, to be there.  To hear….the desires emanating from my soul through the whispers of my heart…..

Reconnecting Through Lessons Learned

Life is funny sometimes, isn’t it?  Just when we are feeling full of all it has to offer us, we may be knocked from the mountain top in the space of a heartbeat.  And not only does the fall hurt, the cuts and scrapes along the way bring their own pain and wounding.

But here’s what’s true friends:  every experience in our lives, sometimes most especially the uncomfortable ones, offers to us the opportunity to reconnect and grow stronger in who we are.  The truth is that so often we find the purest essence of Spirit as we are experiencing some of our lowest places.  Is that not the beauty of this journey?  Just as we are feeling our hearts ripped open, and a hopelessness in doing anything to make it different, we are reminded that our inner life is what matters the most.  We are offered the loving arms of comfort from the Divine.  And if we are allowing it, Grace is penetrating our every cell.  And in this place–there is nothing TO do, except to simply  “allow.”

Just realizing these truths, feeling the love of the Universe weave herself through the pain of our emotions, brings comfort and healing and awakens us once again to the yearning from within.  We find ourselves stirred to continue this path with purpose, to reconnect to All That Is and strengthen our ability to be authentic.  We are blessed beyond measure….and we have only to be still long enough to realize it.  So take your time today, loved ones, to be still…and to listen…..to your own heartbeat….and the whispers of loving truth you find there….

Making the Connection!

Elation swept over my entire being as I watched yet another dream unfold.  Recently my one of blog posts here in the Spirit Journal was a feature in the TIFERET Journal.  If you’ve not yet visited their site, I encourage you to do so.  You will find there a depth of guidance & passion for this journey, as well as a community of spiritual connection that spans the globe.

As I type those words and look back on the title of this post, I’m in awe of yet another truth:  it’s not one, but two dreams that are being realized here.  The first–to share my writing with others who would find in each post a piece of themselves, and relate to its words.  But even more so–to create connection around our planet.  To help each of us realize how the truth of our own lives is reflected in the experience of another.  To awaken the yearning for something so much more, and stir the heart and soul to reach out and understand one another.  THIS is the purest, truest, most passionate dream that is growing and manifesting as this journey goes on.

My heartfelt thanks to the TIFERET Journal for the work you do, the richness you share and the connection YOU are creating.  And to each of you who join me here…..engaging the power of your spirit….listening to the whispers of your heart…..XOXO….I’m grateful for each one of you.

To Dance With Love

This is perhaps my most favorite card in the Soulcards 2 series by Deborah Koff-Chapin.  Gazing into the image, there is a deep longing in my heart, to dance THIS dance. To connect so purely, so divinely and deeply with Spirit–I can feel the breath drawn wholly into my chest, expanding the heart chakra, opening to intimacy, love, union with the ancient knowing that is present within each of us.  This being is surrounded, even enfolded within the wings of loving embrace, fully welcoming in the true essence of her soul and the gentle whispers of her heart. What do you feel as you enter the space of this dance?

Beautiful Synchronicity

I was thinking this morning about relationships and what is unseen.  It’s taken me several years and several “layers” to appreciate a beautiful synchronicity between my husband and me.  Mind you, the appearance of it is not quite so stunning.  It goes something like this:  I’m aggravated because he seems to be preoccupied and isn’t “present” in our interaction, whatever it may be.  My aggravation makes itself known by saying something directed at him like “what’s wrong with you?”  Or a sentence that begins with “you”….”you’re not present, you seem upset, you’re a little tense.”  And I SO want to put it on him.  That he seems a bit “off” and is responsible for my aggravation.

But really – it’s me who’s feeling something.  I’m not feeling loved or I’m feeling distant from him.  I’m the one who has the aggravation and for him it’s like an ambush when I say “you seem upset?”  Rather than share with him what I’m feeling, I feel aggravated, rejected – and put it on him.  It must be that he feels something unpleasant and creates a blip in our screen of love.  Whether he is preoccupied with another area of life may or may not be true.  But if I’m coming to him and immediately projecting my feelings onto him, I will never know the true answer.  And I rob us both of honest and intimate communication.

Jenny McCarthy said of her breakup with Jim Carey that she took out a piece of paper and wrote down all the “negative” things she felt he’d done or not done in their relationship.  She then went down the page and crossed out Jim and wrote “I.”  Whatever she believed he had made her feel was all her own doing.  I love Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote:  “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”  My husband cannot make me feel unloved, unappreciated, unnoticed.  But I sure can.  I’m solely responsible for how I feel and how I see myself.  People and situations may come along that are upsetting, but then it’s up to me what I do with that experience.

And THAT is the beautiful synchronicity.  Just when I need to see myself clearly, appreciate my own value and know within who I am really am, I begin to feel my husband doesn’t.  This is God’s gift to us all.  We are paired in our lives with spouses, children, parents, siblings, co-workers, friends and loved ones with whom we share a contract to help one another grow and heal the places we are broken.

Truly, what I most need in those moments of aggravation is to listen to my own heart whispers.  For when I do, I understand the language of love that prompts me to cuddle up close and let love flow with my husband.  Even when I’m not feeling loved, I can always find within myself the desire to love.  It pulses with life and shines an exquisitely shimmering light.  I have only to pause long enough to listen….to see…..to feel.

This is my wish for you today.  Pause long enough to hear your own heart whispers of love.

“Show Your Hair”

The following is from The Book of Awakening, subtitled “Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.”  Author Mark Nepo has written a very poignant short message for each of the 365 days of the year.  It’s part of my new year gift to myself to spend some time with each day’s wisdom, allowing it to implant itself into every cell of my body and enhance my connection to Spirit.  I promise you, as you resonate with the universal truth offered in these messages, you will deepen your interior life….and open your inner ears to the whispers of your heart.

January 5

Show Your Hair

My grandmother told me, “Never hide your green hair – they can see it anyway.”                 ~  Angeles Arrien

From the agonies of kindergarten, when we first were teased or made fun of in the midst of all our innocence, we have all struggled in one way or another with hiding what is obvious about us.

No one plans this.  It is not a conspiracy, but rather an inevitable and hurtful passage from knowing only ourselves to knowing the world.  The tragedy is that many of us never talk about it, or never get told that our “green hair” is beautiful, or that we don’t need to hide, no matter what anyone says on the way to lunch.  And so, we often conclude that to know the world we must hide ourselves.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.  It is an ancient, unspoken fact of being that blackmail is only possible if we believe that we have something to hide.  The inner corollary of this is that worthless feelings arise when we believe, however briefly, that who we are is not enough.

~ Sit quietly, with your eyes closed, and with each in-breath feel the fact that who you are is enough.

I believe not feeling “enough” is something we all experience many times in our lives.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We are created as Divine beings, in the image of God.  Within our makeup is the ability to understand wisdom, seek out truth and use our free will to choose what works best for us.  There is nothing in our existence that is meant to be robotic or programmed.  When we take on the belief that we are not enough, we begin to press ourselves into the shape that is most acceptable rather than embrace our natural selves.

Let yourself go, wear your GREEN HAIR proudly!  For it is your green hair that defines you as YOU and culminates the uniqueness of who you are.  And my lovelies…..YOU ARE ENOUGH.  Allow yourself to feel this, to take it in.  As the meditation above suggests – breathe it IN.  When you think of it today, breathe in “I am enough.”

When you connect to the Divinity that is you…..your heart will whisper her love for you……