‘I Started My Bleeding Today.’

It’s not something we often hear or even imagine one woman saying to another. Instead there are sentiments of ‘Ugh, I got my period today.’ Or ‘I hate my period.’ Bit of a sad statement considering as women we bleed every month for much of our lives.

I envision a space where one woman can say to another ‘I started my bleeding today’ with a deep sense of her self, of her body, her holiness and the gift she is to be able to release every month what is no longer needed within her being. I imagine the woman to whom she is speaking responding with such warmth and honoring, with the consciousness of how uniquely coded our blood truly is, of all it carries–opens–awakens within us.

The time of our bleeding is one of deep power. It holds a thread that connects us to every other woman who is living or has ever walked on this Earth. We are bonded together through our blood, through our ability to give life in all forms, through our Divine Feminine lineage and legacy.

karol bak red
Artist Karol Bak 

We are given this space every month in which to become still, fully present with our bodies. It becomes necessary for us to shift the ‘usual’ course of our lives, our activities, our eating habits, our emotions. Our bodies taking on fully the role of master as they orchestrate yet another great unveiling of the power we carry inside.

I wish for every woman to feel the sacredness present in her time of bleeding. I wish for her to share her experience with another woman who can hold a holy space of honoring her for the great Goddess and Creator she is.  I wish for each woman to sink deep into herself with a knowing of the wisdom, creativity, nurturing, grace and beauty her blood offers to her.

The more we are able to tune into our bodies, our hearts, our wombs as women who bleed, the more aware we are of how this time works with us on a very unique and individual level. We begin to sense our time before the signs ever arrive. We notice the way our bodies gently and masterfully guide us into our own essence and the reverence of all we are.

Consider as a woman how it might feel to embrace this intimate and transformative sanctuary within yourself. Consider as a man how you can even more fully honor the women of your life with an open conversation and willingness to be present with her own personal story and experience around her bleeding. There is a beautiful and stunning unveiling awaiting us all in the conversation – of this I am certain. We have much to unlearn, unravel and awaken.

Related posts:

How Do You Bleed

Sacred Blood, Holy Grail

Deepening the Layers

Chaotic Holy Love

Ecstasy. Rich, full-bodied. I’m in it.

I sat on our bed talking with my husband about this book – THIS BOOK in which I am a contributing author. Omnipresent: The Sacred Feminine Balance. I’ve dreamed of this for many years, and it’s quite a sensation to realize there is a portal here. A portal of such deep and holy self awareness and appreciation. The majesty of which is an expanded view of all life in such a way and a powerful connection to its reverent pulse.

We talked about the book – about him wanting to read my words in it – and then he left the room for a few moments. I flipped through its pages and it very naturally rested on page 58, where I found these words:

Book - Sacred Heart crop

Emotion stirred in me – because I am this. Within my lovely feminine chest lies the Sacred Heart. These words reflect my truth. These words – are my words. The book itself had brought me to them, here – in print. My breath paused a moment, I’m certain of it – because I could have been reading another woman’s dialogue considering the impact it left on me. There’s a humbling alongside an internal celebration of oneself when we see our reflection so beautifully clear. Magic enfolded and cradled me yet again.

Every day is meant to leave us in awe in some way. It’s there for us, always. If we just say yes, we’ll have some glimpse of it. There are days that mystery will lift us in its arms and fly us high into the heavens of bliss. And there are days we’ll recognize its chaotic work and remember we still are intertwined. These are my days. And this, my loves, this is my book, shared with these incredible female authors. These are our truths, our loves, our stories and grace shared in our own words.

omnipresent_400

If you’d like to order a copy of Omnipresent in either Kindle or print version, I’ve provided this link for you to do so here.

 

 

A Wanted Woman

While walking through our neighborhood a few evenings ago, my love paused for a moment to wrap his arms around me, even sensually cupping my behind. I felt my whole self light up with his touch, with the energy of his wanting, and his ‘small’ gesture stirred a sense of truth within: I highly value being a wanted woman. 

Perhaps I’ve known that’s true for a very long time, only I’m not sure I’ve always had an acceptance or carried the beauty of understanding it within myself. There are innuendos attached to such a statement. Judgments around our (lack of) self esteem, our wounds, our need to be recognized, seen, loved. Residues of those notions still plague me a bit, but the ferocity and deep power of the feeling in that statement stayed with me, leaving me to ponder more intimately just what it meant.

A wanted woman. As I feel into that phrase, connect to the essence of who she is, I can sense this goes beyond simply being desired. The energy of what I feel is of being a woman who is cherished, honored, loved for who she is. She is worthy of being so loved and esteemed simply because she breathes. We’ve lost touch with allowing ourselves to feel this so fully, suppressing our desire to be honored in this way, especially when it relates to physical presence.

sensual flowers

There was a time in our history when women were so honored for our beauty, our love, our wisdom and holiness. For many women, that love was felt through the worship of our bodies. I believe that time is present once again and part of its power is for us to claim it in ourselves. For me, allowing this statement to remain in my awareness is part of how I do that. One of my initial responses when the moment had passed was to feel old stories creeping in, to hear the voices of others who may not understand or honor this sensation of what it is to be woman–to be me as a woman. Giving the notion of valuing myself as a wanted woman room to remain in my contemplation as well as sharing it with you here are both part of my own internal release of what is no longer true – for myself and for all woman who relate.

I don’t believe this hunger is exclusive to just women. Our men, lovers, children bask in the glow of our honored loving. We crave the sensation of being held in the highest regard on every level. There is a vulnerability required to let ourselves feel the aching, to give ourselves space to express our need to be loved and seen fully. Perhaps it’s the vulnerability that keeps us from feeling it to its depths – both the desire to be so cherished as well as our ability to love another in this way.

I’m curious if you feel its truth within your being. As you read the statement ‘I highly value being a wanted woman’ what is the response it evokes in your being? Can you connect to the beauty of who you are, to the desire you have within to be loved and held sacred by those you hold close in your heart?

This is part of the suffering we impart upon ourselves – denial of our inner truth. Such seemingly small statements can turn our world inside out, drawing us deeper into the raw and intimate places of what we have kept safely hidden. The tide has turned and we are no longer in the shadows of our truth, our expression, our hunger and desire. The fear to let it breathe remains, and we alone hold the power to bare its naked presence and feel from within the dissolution of what is old. As we do this more and more, the old breaks away and we find ourselves in a new and powerful relation to ourselves.

I am a wanted woman. Loved, cherished, held sacred. The more I understand and allow this to be present in myself, the more I can receive and experience it with others. It’s been easy to give the love and honoring to others. A raw allowing is required to feel it within and for ourselves. I choose that. xx

 

Claiming our Feminine Sexuality

We have forgotten we are holy. In the throes of patriarchal rule, we left behind our ability to serve as channels of the sacred. There was a time in the history of women when we were the means through which men (and likely other women) found their way to divine awakening–through the act of being sexually intimate with a woman. We – as women – have forgotten we are holy.

Our sexuality is our own. It belongs solely to us. And yet, we leave it sitting on the shelf until it’s called for by someone else who wants it. We have forgotten how to live and breathe as the sensual beings we are, the holy deities of the Goddess we are. We no longer remember what it is to exude and express that essence beyond the call of our lover to be sexual.

We wait to be desired and wanted as validation of our worth. Rather than understand the purity of being Woman, we set her aside until another confirms through their desire that we are something to be valued, loved, adored, cherished. The question I pose to you today is how do we reconnect to that essence? How do we reclaim our own sexuality in its fullness, in its beauty and hallowed grace?

aphrodite
‘Venus’ by Diego Velazquez, 1599-1660

There are very nice phrases we’ve come to use, such as ‘love yourself first.’ Yes, I believe we’re very much remembering how to do that. And I don’t sense this is about loving ourselves. This is about a fundamental disconnect from our sexuality, from the power of what it is for us as women to own our sexuality and perhaps even more so from an acceptance by ourselves of who we are as sexual beings. We’ve become so ‘pure’ in accordance with societal, religious and cultural expectations–we’ve forgotten who we are.

It’s time to WAKE UP and fully remember who we are as sexual women, as channels and vessels of all that is the Sacred Feminine. We are the very gateways through which our lovers access the divine potency of true ecstasy. And we have forgotten. We must first give ourselves permission to be sexual, to feel sexual, to engage and initiate our sexuality in ways that are new and outside ordinary boundaries and acceptable ways of being. We must press beyond what we have known and felt is safe in our expression, in our remembrance, in our utterance and crying out for what our feminine essence longs to bare. This is our time now. No longer need we fear the repercussion of speaking out, acting out, stepping out on behalf of the heart-womb-body connection. The stirrings that come from within have too long been silenced in fear, punishment and self hatred. Enough. It’s time to claim our sexual power in its fullness, to unleash the volcano of passion of the Sacred Feminine in all her glory and fire.

‘The Teaching My Blood Whispers to Me’

I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me. ~Herman Hesse

Sensations awoke and began to move through my body when I read this quote today, especially the phrase ‘the teaching my blood whispers to me.’

It’s 2015. January. This is the month I have known my book would finally come into form. The vision has been with me for some time–not just a dream of writing a book, an actual vision of the process, the writing, the text. There is a gentle flow that moves us to the place where we breathe life into the dream. And then….we give it form; a way to move through this world, to touch people on a human level, to connect to the very places in us that seek to be caressed, awakened, aroused.

Photograph by Miyako Ishiuchi
Photograph by Miyako Ishiuchi

This is where I find myself now. The book journal is never far from where I am. The pages are filling with the inspirations and passions of what is meant to be written by me, as me, through me. I know when I hit the mark because my self begins to tingle and the cells dance the macarena. Everything is lit up and all signs are go.

Today, as I sat at my desk and the words move through me, I felt it. And I felt too what this quote served to validate for me–what is meant to to be told comes through the blood that is mine, the experiences and truths and knowings, the magic and creativity and DNA, the very Life Force of all that is beautifully and uniquely me. This is the story I am to tell – mine. I’ve always known that, only now I know it’s not just a story of my life. It’s a story of the Sacred Feminine coming full into Herself. It’s a story of so many women who came before me, and perhaps some who will follow. Only, the telling of the story will shift its course. The vulnerable, raw and pure sharing of who we are as women is what unleashes our power. THIS is our story, our offering, our blessing….this is our blood. My blood. ‘The teaching my blood whispers to me. ‘ Yes.

Channeling Ecstasy

So we have this energy, this sensual, fiery, lusty, longing, aching, hungry, passionate, pulsing energy that moves and stirs and awakens inside us. Anything can prompt its arousal. And then we are left with what to do with that energy. At least I am.

The next pondering I have within myself is how to channel this ecstasy, this fire. The usual suspects – sex, food, shopping, exercising, laughing, loving. Yes. I get that. But the deeper question I’m asking from the depths of my self is how am I meant to harness and channel this pressing sensation of all of my body, heart and soul coming to life and seeking to express?

I’m certain I am designed this way with purpose. I’m certain there are blocks – conditioning, heartaches, fears – to realizing, to opening, to connecting fully with what is here, offering itself to me. How do I dissolve those and get into the heart of it?

Lady Rose by Carmen Velcic
Lady Rose by Carmen Velcic

What is calling me next? No longer can I sit to write and type out something that is merely skimming the surface. My fingertips move with fire across the keyboard when I am sharing from my own abyssal truth and hunger. I know what that feels like. I long to more and more step into that space, to let IT move ME, to become the voice, the expression, the heartbeat, the pulse of my own Life Force; to no longer fear or keep it at bay.

These are the contemplations that circle in my consciousness today. How do I sink into my own ecstatic presence, energy, expression? How do I honor what is moving through me with purity, with integrity and elegance, with the potent and beautiful voice that is my own? I no longer fear my voice…..and with every day, with every word, every portal of expression and dissolution….I have come to revere and trust its sacred movement in my body.

That’s so much a part of this – ‘in my body.’ We MUST – we MUST get IN our bodies, loves. We hear it said so often it’s become a cliche. So take a bit of time and consider what that means to you – for you – to get IN your body. To feel from there, to give yourself permission to allow everything that comes through in waves as your own intimate truth. Let it all come to you, let it take the lead and drive you to what is surely your destiny, your purpose, your own unique soul signature. This is my prayer today…..guide me deeper into my own signature. Let me be clear in sensing when the kiss of sacredness is touching me, stirring me, arousing me. And let me answer with full openness and without fearing risk of exposure. This is my prayer. xo

My Vagina Talks to Me

You remember the question I asked one of my spiritual teachers back in 2007? I’ve talked about it here before:

‘Why is it that when I feel most connected to something holy it seems to be followed with seductive energy?’

And do you recall his answer?

‘Oh my darling, that would take hours to explain.’ Coupled with a little pat on my knee as we sat together, outside in the sunshine, in an intimate sacred circle.

And that was all. That was ALL he said. I recently read a post titled The Holy Fuck by Kim Anami, and shared it on my FB page Kissing the Sacred. There are many of you that resonated with her experience because as of today 133 people have shared that link from my page. What Kim is talking about is our desire to connect with the Sacred, and the ability to do so through our sexuality and the connections we make with ourselves and others through it.

Beautiful. It still doesn’t answer the question – what is the connection between these two energies in my body? And what is one supposed to do with continual sacred vaginal sensations that stir her into near madness? Surely we’re not designed to live in that state of longing more often than the ecstatic bliss that eventually follows?

sacred birth

Although, many people do.

That doesn’t feel real. Or right. In my vagina.

This morning I shared a conversation with my very wise, very awake and in tune with the Sacred Feminine sister (real life) Lydia, in which we discussed a very outside-the-box connection to that sensual energy – and in a way that most wouldn’t see or feel. And yet, it was strikingly clear to both of us. Crystal. So much so, it felt miraculous. And for me personally – it began a conversation with my vagina.

In that exact space of time I had a glimpse into the answer to this burning question in the center of my core. I felt and heard Her voice very clear – the Divine voice of our ancient, sensual, awake, passionate and wise feminine selves.

And my vagina was feeling Her too. My vagina was perhaps the greatest receptor and channel of Her energy. There was a constant and yes, quite pleasant, tingling sensation.

I felt the AHA touch and kiss and stir into arousal every inch of my body, my Sacred Feminine body, merged completely. At first it was ‘oh yes, this is where I feel divine guidance.’ Yes. A wave of relief poured over me.

Then, with a softer voice and energy I heard the whisper of ‘Of course, darling.’ Of course. This is the connection! When I am in total, utter union with Her, with me as Her, my vagina starts humming. She’s elated! She’s feeling it all, my vagina. She – is Her.

I believe this is true of all women. The Sacred Feminine’s mouthpiece is our vagina. That’s not to say She’s exclusive, but She is ripe and pulsing in your vagina. In my vagina.

Perhaps it’s not all the answer, but it’s certainly a massive chunk on the way to remembering the rest. And I am just delighted.