Untrampling Our Masculine

His heart is tender and filled with uncertainty. Have I hurt her? Is she angry with me? Can she love me for who I am?

I can feel the gentle tears his heart cries in the darkness, in moments of time and space when strength and protection has worn itself out and he is vulnerably exposed. I hear his need to be loved, held, cherished. In the core of his being there is a space incomplete without her presence, her love, caress.

He longs to feel her radiance shine over him, warming from the inside out. Too many times being himself has caused a separation, leaving aching emptiness in her absence.

I can see, hear, feel this heart of our masculine. Ravaged by the demands of his women – mothers, grandmothers, wives, lovers – falling short of her expectations that he always be strong, and ‘right’ in the way she desires. He’s left with a constant sense of inability to meet her demands.

The feminine has risen. She is alive and beating with the Goddess Life Force. On her way up, the heart of our masculine has been invisibly trampled upon, quieted. His hunger, his ferocity placed in a box so as to keep women ‘safe.’

And yes…she has been harmed by him over lifetimes. In no way is this dialogue meant to deny what the feminine has endured. We’ve been looking at it, rebelling against it, speaking our truth for decades. Our voice is strong. Our cries have been heard and responded to. And now…

Her charge is to love, honor, receive her masculine.

He needs room to rise again, in all his glory, power, strength – with his tenderness intact. I feel the masculine heart as such sweetness, such deep desire to love and please his Goddess. Her deepest pleasure becomes his greatest joy. His capacity to love, hold, care for her is boundless.

Lovers ~ Anne  D Mejaki
Lovers ~ Anne D Mejaki

The wound is not merely of the masculine upon the feminine. The feminine has bruised and punished and whipped her masculine into a shell of himself. His heart can no longer bear her raging fire. He buries his pain, cracks deep inside his chest – tucked safely away from her reach, from her view even. She feels only his resentment, indifference. The heartache is far from visible and nearly imperceptible.

In our need to balance, the masculine purity has been set aside. Protected, hidden away safely so as not to reap her wrath.

He needs her love. He needs her acceptance, her willingness to see beyond tired misconceptions of what it is to be an awakened man – IN HIS POWER.

In my connections with women, there is a predominant truth: we LOVE the masculine Force. We want him to bring his fire to our bed, his strength and comfort to our tears, his ferocity to match our own. And we thrive on the kiss, the touch – his full penetration of our body, heart, soul.

What I’m feeling is a present need to embrace our men as they are. Draw them close, give the anger and distance room to breathe, for beneath it lies an expansive heart with the desire to simply love and be held in love. Allow time and space to unravel the hurt between our two – masculine and feminine – without pointing fingers, seeking justice, making ‘wrong.’

Come together in sacred space. Open your heart, hold love as you share your deepest fears, most vulnerable hurts and tender, precious truths. Allow there to not be words, answers, resolve. Let Love both dissolve and become the language. Be so intimately present with one another. Feel your hearts rise together. Give room for our history of hurting one another to melt in the heat of holding Love’s intensity.

This is the call of the feminine – my feminine. I have witnessed myself in this time and space – seeing how I disarm the masculine in ways that hurt – often unknowingly. At times I hold him accountable for hurts that are mine, for being the Presence that he is. I’ve asked him to take ownership of my heartache, my joy, my ultimate happiness. It’s not his job. And yet, I find when I give him room to feel his own pure heart, he can so easily hold space for mine.

These energies dance between the dynamic of male/female, but the power we hold centered here is within the relationship of Sacred Feminine and Divine Masculine. The present reality is we are healing together. Our expansion is intermingled. Walking this human life, we are designed to need one another, to love deeply, to feel fully. Our work is to open, to soften, to let the wounds be seen, held, loved – transmuted – in the glowing light of day. One of our greatest powers is making love to change the world. Loving each other with sacred tenderness is our way through.

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Speaking Sexuality Out Loud

Dissolving the shame around our sexuality isn’t exclusive to women – or to men. Nor is it simply about those who are in heterosexual male/female relationships. We’re entering a space where the delicate balance of masculine and feminine are coming together – finding center. There are women who relate more to the masculine way of being, and men whose natural tendencies and desires are in the feminine realm.

We’re expanding the conversation now – and it’s going to get hot. Hot in the ways we desire, yes – increased arousal, fires burning in all the right places; but also hot in the ways that make us uncomfortable, fidgety in our seats, ready to lash out and defend what feels true in ourselves.

There’s been an imbalance in our world through the reign of patriarchy. We’ve all played into it – men and women alike. And for some time now there have been women’s groups and organizations, books, websites, conferences and Red Tent gatherings centered around the empowerment, the healing, the opening and release of the wounds we have carried for generations and lifetimes. So many of us know stories of our aunts, mothers and grandmothers having experienced sexual abuse at the hands of men. And in truth – that certainly still happens.

Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva
Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva

We’ve put much energy, heart and time into healing these wounds, empowering ourselves, finding our voices and releasing the demons that plague our past. Women are experiencing liberation, dissolving shame and opening to the intimate, hidden places in our sexual libraries. We love to be sexual. We desire to be wanted, adored. We carry a passion so deep it can ignite inside us in a heartbeat. These are our truths.

It’s time now to give our men the same leeway in expressing their sexual truths. Let us allow them to speak of the sexual intensity present in their own bodies, give them room to unleash the raw desire and lust that lives within their masculine way of walking this earth. Our men, this generation of men along with this generation of women, deserve no less than to be able to speak boldly and openly of their sexual desires. It’s the hiding away, the shaming, the blame and the judgment of what is wrong  and not acceptable that has driven us to acting out our sexuality in secret, in dark places where it has little room to flourish, to burn, to breathe as the truth of what it is.

It may feel uncomfortable in us at times. And ladies, let’s be fair – there are certainly moments our open expression has felt the same to our male counterparts. Let us now come together as equals, processing and releasing the shackles of our history, the wounding, the heartache, the blame. Let us honor each other as who we are in our sexuality, in our hunger and ravenous desire to explore the depths of our bodies, our passion, our fires together. We have certainly come far enough to engage the conversation, to speak boldly and honestly our truths to one another and find in the process an acceptance and even celebration of what is real and true in ourselves and each other.