Follow Your Heartsong

There are times I feel strongly the desire to express through writing, but the words escape me. This morning I decided to pick up an old journal from the middle of 2007 and seek out some of the poetry I had written a few years ago. Reading those lyrics that seem such a short time ago in my life, I was instantly aware of how far I’ve come and how much has been released over the last 3 1/2 years of this journey. The shift within myself was immediate, bringing about a clearer perspective on who I am TODAY. Uncertainties, doubts, worries about where I am on my present path vanished as I began to read the words of a woman who had no voice. Searching desperately she implored God, her soul, her self to step into the light, into authenticity.

“What’s there in my soul, hiding out in the dark? Flames would burst into fire – just give me one spark. Let me just get a glimpse of this delicate space. Step out of the shadows, show me your face. Something within is calling to me – I can’t quite hear its voice; it’s barely a whisper yet it feels like a scream. Crying out in great pain, begging me for its ease. ‘You’re not making sense’ comes my reply. Though your lips move, neither words nor sound can escape. What is keeping you mute, can’t you see, don’t you know? Why can’t you break free from this master of your soul? You want to, I see desperation in your eyes. The message seems clear – this is now ‘do or die.'”

As I look back upon the growing pains of developing my own voice, becoming an authentic expression of who I truly am inside–I can both feel her pain and at the same time feel the love that has grown in its place.  This woman had to want it.  She had to need it, desperate enough to risk all her comforts to find it.

And through her eyes, I can now see how much I have healed the holes in my spirit.  She has a voice now–and sings beautifully her heartsong.

Don’t judge where you are in your journey.  Allow yourself to feel what you feel, experiencing what you must in order to release old wounds and burdens.  Beneath all of that breathes a vibrant, extraordinary spirit, just waiting for your permission to BE.

We each have our own heartsong.  Its sweet sounds can be heard when we honor who we are in this very moment and take the time to listen…..to the whispers of our hearts…..

Castles in the Sand

Listening to the waves make their way onto the sand washing away anything in their path, and then retreat again, it’s easy to imagine the castles that are or were once built along the shore.  Some take a great deal of time to build their sculpture-quality castle, securing a strong foundation and adding the finest of details.  Others may build quickly crafted walls, with very little garnish.  In either case, the waves will come and the castles will fall.  Even when built far up on the shoreline, eventually the water prevails and the shore returns to its natural state.

Isn’t this true for us, too?  Are we not the castles in the sand?  We can craft or create whatever we wish in our lives.  It may stand tall for many, many years.  Or it may fall at the first hint of a rolling wave.

Consider this from the perspective of what you wish to create as your reality.  Wayne Dyer says “What’s true in the morning, has become a lie in the afternoon.”  What we feel is important today, this week, this year – at this exact moment – is always prone to change.  Think back to a time in your life when you can from this vantage point confidently say “I’m not the same person I was then.”  This is the transformation of life.  We do not stay the same, nor are we meant to do so.

We are given the sands of the shore on which to sculpt the desires of our hearts.  And we are also given the grace of the waves to wash away what no longer serves us.  Still, it remains true at the end of the day – every grain of sand that once stood as our castle continues to be part of us and contribute to the whole of who we are.  Although the castles may be washed away, the sand is still the sand and can be used to build yet again.

Now, take this concept and apply it to your life TODAY.  Build the castle you desire….and allow the one that is crumbling to take its place back in the sands of time.  Nothing is lost, for the potential of the builder is ever-present.  You are the builder.  You are the creator of your own destiny.  Gather your tools and begin to create what you most desire.  This is a new year, 2011 – embrace it and allow your truth to unfold.

And as you know, my friends…..the way to your desires and the truth of who you are….is through the whispers of your heart.


On Being a “Good Girl”

At a quiet moment in my day yesterday, I had one of those AHA! moments.  The kind where something that has always been part of your life changes its meaning and form, a light bulb goes off and you become enlightened to a rich awareness.

We all have the dialogue that goes on in the “back” of our thoughts.  That voice that can be our mother, our judge or another archetypal presence.  In this particular instance, it was that “mother” voice within my own consciousness that came to the stage.  I heard her say “that’s right, good girl” in support of what I was doing.  And in that exact moment….the switch flipped!

I really could feel the energy within myself change.  We’ve all experienced these moments, and really, they’re quite stunning are they not?!  In my younger years, I soaked it up every time my mom said out loud or even hinted at me being a “good girl.”  This meant I was loved, and as many of us do I took on that to be a “good girl” – to be loved – I had to be pleasing in my actions and my words.  A rigorous code of conduct began to weave itself within my subconscious, driving me to always be pleasing to others in order to be liked or loved.

But here’s the AHA! moment, my friends.  The entirety of my being realized in the space of a nano-second – this is not true!  The goodness of my “good girl” is love, kindness, joy.  That was what my mom could feel.  THAT was why she said “good girl” to me, filled with loving sentiment.  I didn’t have to get A’s, make sure my mom was happy, try to hide any perceived flaws or mistakes.  I just was me….and that was enough!  I was a “good girl” and indeed am a “good girl” just because I am Jackie.  Just because I love to love, respect people where they are, offer kindness and caring.  And even in the times when I struggle to find this place in myself, the good does not go away.  I don’t have to earn my goodness….it just is!

What a liberating, exhilarating and incredibly uplifting realization!  This changes the whole order of your existence, an AHA! such as this!

You too are GOOD.  Not because you have to be, but because you are.  I love the first line in Mary Oliver’s poem WILD GEESE:  “you do not have to be good.”  What she conveys is you do not have to try to be good by human standards.  You are good in the eyes of the Universe.  Take a pause, and let that sink in.  You ARE good.

Your heart will tell you so.  When you pause….listen to its whispers and feel the goodness that is you.

What is God Asking?

What is God asking of you?

No matter where we are in our own journey, we can take pause to ask this question.  God speaks through our joy, our pain…sorrow, elation, wealth, poverty.  It doesn’t matter.  There will always be room for this question, and if we listen, we will always receive an answer.

But I wonder, can we even grasp the power that lies in the asking?  We are effectively reaching up into the ethers to draw down into our being the vibration of grace,  just by simply posing the question.  Beyond the inquiry lies the need to step into living an authentic life, to shift a stagnant energy, to touch the lives of others with the energy we share, to perform acts of service on behalf of Spirit.

It’s as though our soul is an electric power plant and asking this question turns on the giant switch and begins the current flowing, bringing light and animation to the extremes of our person.  And so begins an awakening.  Something previously quieted opens its eyes and breathes life.

Wherever you are in life, take time out to say these words:  “What is God asking of me?”  And then listen….as your heart whispers the answer to you.