Asking for Help

Who knew asking for help could be such an intricate, loaded action to take? When on the receiving end of the question – having someone you know or care about asking you for help, it seems so much simpler. Most often we are open hearted, willing and happy to provide an infusion of love and support to others. But then when it’s time for us to feel vulnerable enough to say “I need your help” – we struggle so. As I check in with myself to see what comes to the surface with that statement I feel inadequacy, helplessness, lack of strength and ability–perhaps even the sense of DISability, which feels like a negative implication in our society.

And yet, we are created to work together, to need the love and support of others and especially to want to give our love as well. We have an innate desire to be of service, and when balanced with our own personal boundaries, receive immense gratification from doing so. As I’m working with Fay Hart in her Indiegogo campaign, I’m continually processing these feelings of how it will look and feel to ask for help. I would easily tell someone else that it’s ok to ask, that people can decide for themselves what they feel and how they wish to respond. And yet, when it’s me doing the asking, there is a recurrence of fear-based thoughts that wonder how it will look, what people will think of me, if they’ll be offended, if it’s ok with them. When in reality, all I need to do is turn inward and be very clear on my desire and intention.

And so, my dear friends, I’m asking for your help in supporting ME as I work with Fay to make her dream come true. We’re using Indiegogo as a crowdfunding platform, meaning the funding comes from everyday people like you and me who believe in something and are willing to make a contribution in support of reaching a goal–in this case, to create a beautiful Workbook to accompany the Steps program. the Steps program was created by Fay as part of her work to ease suffering in our world. I wholeheartedly believe in Fay, and I’m asking you to believe in me and lend your energy to our efforts. Every little ‘bit’ helps – whether you can contribute $5 or $1000. And if you aren’t able to or prefer not to contribute financially, you can help us to get the word out by sharing in your own networks–your blog, Facebook, Twitter, emails, word of mouth. I believe we can make this happen – I believe anything is possible. And I know I have the strength and trust within to lay it out on the line and allow the magic to unfold, releasing the binding energy of fear. We’re all in this together, dear friends. xoxo

Learn more about Fay’s campaign. ~ Learn more about Fay Hart & the Steps program through Sacred Circle Retreats and followfay.com

Advertisements

Radiantly Flawless

‘I understand the nature of illusion and see that I do not, nor have ever possessed any defects.’ ~ Step 6 of the Steps

I sat down to write on Sunday morning and felt the truth of this statement sink deep into my being: I do NOT, nor have EVER possessed any defects. The Universe conspires with our souls to bring the most profound healing and enlightenment to us, to enable us to release and move forward with purpose in who we are. And so we began…

Recently three people have resurfaced in my life–three people, that is, by whom I was hurt deeply many years ago. These are individuals, from different times and places. One goes all the way back to the year I graduated high school. I’ve felt much of the pain from these experiences melt away as I’ve grown and healed, but as one by one my interactions in present time began to trigger those old experiences, I have realized they’ve come back around to allow me to continue to heal and release. It was actually unsettling as with each one I felt myself wanting to say things I didn’t dare say when the original encounters occurred. I had no idea how to stand up for myself back then–and I also walked away from each scenario with full willingness to own my part. I could see how in each situation I had contributed to the undoing of our relationships, and so rather than point my finger at them, I held myself accountable for what was mine. That meant it wasn’t right to make a fuss about what they had done ‘to me.’ 

I captured this photo while we were visiting the Georgia Guidestones on Saturday. Drawn in by the mockingbird, it’s quite apparent by the radiant orb at the bottom of the photo there was a beautiful energy present. Radiantly Flawless indeed.

That’s the old story. The new story was written as I sat down on Sunday morning to sort out some of what I was feeling around the triggers. Feelings of being wrong, inadequate, undesirable, too outspoken, too ‘good’ have all swirled around inside of me since reconnecting with each of these people. But when I began writing, I realized: I’m having some of the same feelings, but without being able to see anything I’d done ‘wrong’ to create the current unpleasantness. I couldn’t turn and point the finger at me this time. There wasn’t anything I felt badly about, no shame, no poor choices, no lack of self esteem in how I encountered each one. Yet, those emotions were still coming up. 

Something began to shift. If I’m being who I am today–and getting the same results as I did years ago when I made choices I wouldn’t make today–then it’s not about what I did or didn’t do. It’s not about how I contributed to the situation. It’s not about that I need to own my choices. It’s not about looking back and owning how I created part of the problem. And so Step 6 began to weave her way into my thoughts. She’d been embedded into my bodies through last week’s class and processing, but now she was standing as my truth. I do not now, nor have ever possessed any defects. No defects. I wasn’t defective all those years ago, in each of those relationships. It’s not that I was wrong–because I’m not and have never been defective! 

There is an enormous magnitude of healing and release in this truth, my friends. I am not – YOU are not – defective. We are perfectly whole. Radiantly flawless. We are as we were mean to be. I was being myself then, as I am being myself now. My intention wasn’t ever to contribute to anyone’s suffering, especially my own. I was just being Jackie. As she was. As she is. Unbroken. Not defective. Seeing with clarity the illusion I’ve lived under for far too long. 

I feel and see myself in a whole different light. Layers of guilt and self judgment are dissolving away. There’s immense power in this awareness of myself: I am NOT defective. I was not–ever. There aren’t any defects, nothing to find or fix or try to own or make better. NOT defective. 

I am radiantly flawless. As are you. 

As part of our processing for Step 6, Fay guided us in a beautiful processing meditation. It was very profound for me personally, and I’m sharing it here with you. Thank you to Fay Hart for the ease and grace with which she assists our consciousness through these steps, and for allowing us all to process at will using this meditation as our guide. 

‘Vida Loca’

I’m delighted to be sharing a ‘first’ here on A Heart’s Whispers: Fay Hart has written a guest blog–by request. It’s an honor to have her share in this personal and intimate space, especially as ‘processing’ with Fay has brought about an instrumental shift in my life over the last several months. I love how she so openly shares her own truth, and we become student & teacher to and for one another. There is no pretense of knowing or being more than the client–only that of being a guide to our inner beauty and truth. I’ve learned to respect, listen to and honor my body as a companion and spiritual director of what is true for me…and to release more and more of the subconscious desire to control out of fear.

I invite each of you to take a moment and visit Fay’s uniquely designed website, and to consider sharing an Archangel Reading with her. The changes feel as though they are subtle as you open to the energy of the Divine in working with Fay, and yet the shifts that occur are profound and immediate.  

There is so much I could say to introduce you to this angel who appeared in my life. She is a gifted Poet and Self Awareness Coach, and I’m honored to share with you a glimpse into her own journey. Without further adieu, I give you Fay Hart and a bit of ‘crazy.’ 

VIDA LOCA

“Are you crazy?” was a question I got asked more than once on a recent trip home to Florida, when I told people I live in Mexico. I peered into that thought. ‘Am I crazy?’ I wondered. I looked all the way back through my adventurous life. ‘You must be crazy!’ yelled my brother when he found out I’d hitchhiked to Tuscaloosa to see the Rolling Stones. ‘Are you nuts?’ asked my neighbor when I headed off to London with three hundred bucks and a vague possibility of a boyfriend. ‘You must be mad!’ said my sad college professor when I announced I was declining a teaching position at the uber cool Goldsmith’s College in favour of becoming a postwoman. ‘Maybe I am crazy,’ I concluded. But I remember R.D. Laing, writing about schizophrenic women, suggesting perhaps they weren’t insane but ‘struggling to make sense of a senseless situation’. And a lot of what was so-called normal or sane for women I looked up to sure looked senseless to me. So I followed my heart instead of my head, often winding up in precarious situations, living off my wits, scraping by, fearful and worried but alive and vital and somehow free.

My last great fit of madness, packing up my London life of thirty years to allow something new to happen, brought the same reaction. My gorgeous lover shook his head in disbelief. ‘But it’s insane,’ he said. ‘There’s nowhere to live but London. You can’t live in America, it’s not a country – it’s a whole bloody continent!’ I’ll admit there were nights I cried myself to sleep wishing I could just take it all back – the whole damn thing and just have worked at the phone company for thirty years and be looking forward to a grandmotherly retirement of brownie baking and bingo. But there was no turning back from my vida loca. Throwing myself into the abyss, whole new worlds opened up and I wound up buying a house in Mexico – at a yard sale no less! And now I am on the wildest ride of my life. Living quietly among the gentle Mexican people. Moving ever more deeply into the truth of who I am, who I have always been. And I’m pretty sure I’m not crazy. All the heartache, self-doubt, second thoughts and cold feet that I’ve elbowed my way through as I’ve mustered the courage to act crazy, have revealed themselves to be beautiful gifts, guiding me to my life’s purpose. Along with a traditional university degree, I have a PhD in anxiety, which serves me as I help people face their fears and release limiting belief patterns that prevent them from being peaceful. And I echo the words of Hafiz…

You don’t have to act crazy anymore –

We all know you were good at that

Now retire, my dear,

From all that hard work you do

Of bringing pain to your sweet eyes and heart.

Look in a clear mountain mirror –

See the Beautiful Ancient Warrior

And the Divine elements

You always carry inside…

I would love to hear your thoughts. And please do take a moment to connect with Fay:

Twitter ~ @fayhart101

Facebook ~ FAY

Website ~ followfay.com