Every Step Supported

I find myself once again in awe of what the Universe can accomplish! And truly my friends, I can’t explain to you why this is, for I trust fully in the gifts that seem to be consistently surrounding me. Whatever it is that might be needed along the way, it seems to come at times without any awareness on my part that it was even a possibility.

Most recently I found myself having such a delightful time working with friends to create these beautiful little WordPress sites. It has become a form of canvas on which to paint the essence of one’s being, using the design, photos and language to allow the energy to unfold. Often I’ve thought what a fun little business this might be–and yet the fear of THAT client coming along who might desire a website beyond my knowledge and ability, has kept me circling, uncertain, unable to commit.

Just two days ago, I committed–fully. The evening before doing so, I found myself in tears with the realization that this could be REAL. From deep within my being came the knowledge, the knowing that once I said YES the doors would swing WIDE OPEN. In that moment, the emotions were not centered around the inability to create my dreams but the full awesomeness of the dreams coming true with just one word: YES.

And so setting the fear aside, I chose to stand up and just go with the Flow. When the client came along that needed something beyond my abilities, I would be honest and let them know perhaps I am not the right person for the job. Without any thought otherwise, I felt at peace with this next step and have begun to gather the pieces and put things in motion.

What has come next truly ‘knocks my socks off!’ Speaking with a very dear friend today, Stephen Michael Marcus of the groundbreaking Sacred Ground technology, brought about a whole new Collaboration and option for those clients who desire a bit more advanced website. Stephen is a highly intelligent, very intuitive and extremely loving being filled with so much knowledge and understanding of these more complex and intricate pieces. As we began the dialogue initiated through simple questions about me getting started, a beautiful connection began unfolding.

Are you getting this my friends? The Universe sent me what was needed…supporting me all the way in places where I had let go and wasn’t feeling fearful any longer. I wasn’t LOOKING for it…and truly in some ways hadn’t specifically asked for THIS to be a solution. And yet, we came together, each in our own space and journey, and are sharing our unique energies and gifts in a way that will not only honor our creative desires, but will honor and uplift others as well.

The miraculous occurrence of this continues to astound me….so much so, I’m not even certain I’ve effectively put it into words. What I wish for you to know, to feel deep within your being, to listen to from the quietest whispers of your heart is this dear loved ones: ALWAYS–ALWAYS you are loved, supported and held in the arms of grace. ALWAYS.

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Opening Up and Stepping Out

Fears will bind us.  Love will free us.  We know this, we’ve heard it so often as we travel in our circles of connection.  And somehow its reality eludes us until a space of our own inner fear is awakened.  

I’m struck by this truth on this lovely morning, as I contemplate my own journey.  Just a few years ago I recall not wanting to talk about the energy of pure Love I felt so strongly within–out of fear that people would reject it.  Seems so silly now, doesn’t it?  Who would reject LOVE?  And yet, in my own dialogue lived the belief that it was too ‘fluffy,’ too ‘positive’–TOO much!  Looking back now I realize how fearful I was to allow love to flow freely within and without.

Caroline Myss talks about the ego’s fear of humiliation as the chain that holds us in place.  To step fully into the grace of who we are, to allow our spirit to shine as it so naturally desires to, to enter the sacredness of our souls and be at peace with ourselves–we often have to let go of the fear we’ll be humiliated for it.  We have to let go and just trust the Universe holds us in her arms and is always there to catch us, whatever may come.  And here’s what has proven true for me friends: the fear is so much greater than any humiliation that has come.  For in reality, the humiliation enters from my OWN monkey mind.  I was my soul’s greatest enemy in those moments.  It was my own ego that silenced the voice of my spirit.

And here’s what else is true:  to take the risk, to let go, to choose to BE me no matter what may come–incredibly liberating and deeply gratifying.  There is a sense of openness, connection, purity, grace that occurs.  So much so, that I struggle to find the words to define it.  And so I’ll leave it at this:  there is so much love in my heart–in ALL of our hearts–that to contain it closes us off from the sacred journey we are here to travel. 

For in truth, the humiliation transforms into humility of spirit.  We see the greatness of our spirit, and recognize the folly of our ego.  Only when we understand the dance of these two, only when we can fully acknowledge both the shadow and light of our presence do we move forward into empowerment, and one of the greatest gifts offered to us: authenticity.

This is my heart’s desire.  To live authentically, connecting with all of Life, offering the service of my soul to uplift and honor our planet.  This is the seed I choose to nurture.  And the result will be the beautiful, bountiful blossoms of Divine Love.  This is my truth.  I know it’s so because I’m listening and I hear it echoed…in the whispers of my heart…..

Follow Your Heartsong

There are times I feel strongly the desire to express through writing, but the words escape me. This morning I decided to pick up an old journal from the middle of 2007 and seek out some of the poetry I had written a few years ago. Reading those lyrics that seem such a short time ago in my life, I was instantly aware of how far I’ve come and how much has been released over the last 3 1/2 years of this journey. The shift within myself was immediate, bringing about a clearer perspective on who I am TODAY. Uncertainties, doubts, worries about where I am on my present path vanished as I began to read the words of a woman who had no voice. Searching desperately she implored God, her soul, her self to step into the light, into authenticity.

“What’s there in my soul, hiding out in the dark? Flames would burst into fire – just give me one spark. Let me just get a glimpse of this delicate space. Step out of the shadows, show me your face. Something within is calling to me – I can’t quite hear its voice; it’s barely a whisper yet it feels like a scream. Crying out in great pain, begging me for its ease. ‘You’re not making sense’ comes my reply. Though your lips move, neither words nor sound can escape. What is keeping you mute, can’t you see, don’t you know? Why can’t you break free from this master of your soul? You want to, I see desperation in your eyes. The message seems clear – this is now ‘do or die.'”

As I look back upon the growing pains of developing my own voice, becoming an authentic expression of who I truly am inside–I can both feel her pain and at the same time feel the love that has grown in its place.  This woman had to want it.  She had to need it, desperate enough to risk all her comforts to find it.

And through her eyes, I can now see how much I have healed the holes in my spirit.  She has a voice now–and sings beautifully her heartsong.

Don’t judge where you are in your journey.  Allow yourself to feel what you feel, experiencing what you must in order to release old wounds and burdens.  Beneath all of that breathes a vibrant, extraordinary spirit, just waiting for your permission to BE.

We each have our own heartsong.  Its sweet sounds can be heard when we honor who we are in this very moment and take the time to listen…..to the whispers of our hearts…..

Murphy’s LOVE

This is a picture of PURE LOVE: meet Murphy–an old soul.  No matter what kind of day I’m having, he can channel a sense of warmth into my very core.  The beauty of Murphy is that not only does he give love, he teaches me how to love unconditionally.  He has helped me to understand that I am not just seeking to be loved in this life, but I have within my soul the most pure and raw desire to give love.

This is in stark contrast to my beliefs growing up and into adulthood, and the wounds I carried for too long.  “I just want to be loved” became a self-defining, but also self-defeating statement.  Murph has opened my heart to a more authentic truth:  “I just want TO love.”

Like me, Murphy was wounded.  For him it was a gaping “hole” in the side of his face.  For me, it was years of negative self-programming.  In bringing him into my home to care for him, I began to connect with a very real truth:  LOVE HEALS.  Murph truly needed an environment filled with love.  He thrives on it.  And this is his reflection back to me.  WE thrive on it.  We love to love: to share love, to give love, to receive love.  We need love to feel at our best.  He reminds me to take time to love–coming to sit beside my desk chair, he’ll gently place his paw on my leg.  It’s his way of telling me to take a moment to consciously focus on him and the feeling of love.

Surprisingly, Murphy’s face wound healed quickly when I brought him home to take care of him.  Love healed Murphy.  And love heals me.  LOVE HEALS.  When we choose to allow its vibrant energy to flow through our being, we invite healing and vitality into our lives.  Perhaps the old soul in Murphy knew we would journey into love together–in fact, I’m sure he did somehow.  We came to this place for and with each other.  Murphy warms my spirit, and he’s in my life today only because I listened….to the whispers…..of my own heart…..

 

Appreciating the Simplicity

There is something magnificently beautiful in the simplest things of life.  Artist Lisa Kubik illustrates this truth in her alluring work of art depicting one of the simplest and most stunning pieces of nature – a flower.  What child is not drawn to a flower when out in nature?  A flower can be an expression of “I love you” or “get well soon.”  There is something about a flower that can brighten our day, bring life into a room or even our entire awareness.

Imagine yourself as a child, running and playing in a field full of wildflowers.  Although they become part of the scenery, there’s something magical in the flowery landscape.  Just as you feel something magical inside yourself when you take a moment to really *see* and *be* with this painting.  Feel it?

If you allow, you will feel yourself smile from within.  Take a moment to observe how your senses respond.  Our eyes can’t help but take in the beauty.  Naturally, we inhale through our lungs as though we can take in the sweet floral aroma.  And giving ourselves the space, we can even imagine what it must feel like to hold this flower in our own hand.  From there – check in with your inner being.  Do you feel the warmth, the appreciation, the gratitude and love that is swirling inside of you?

This is true not only for a beautiful work of art – either on canvas or in nature – but also for yourself.  What do you find of magnificence within?  What Lisa Kubik has done in her artwork is capture the elegance and gorgeously stunning nature of just one flower.  We are given the canvas that is who we are, to paint upon, to gaze upon, to appreciate and love.  Our heart channels the essence of our soul, inspiring us to create the masterpiece that is our authentic self.

Take time today to see into YOU.  See the beauty, the uniqueness, the simplicity that you just ARE.  And really breathe that into your being, awakening all your senses to your own loveliness.  As you become connected to your inner spirit…..pause in this space…..and take a moment to listen…..to the whispers of your heart……

The Chocolate Again

It was Forrest Gump who coined the now famous statement:  “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”  And so it is.

This is a personal story I’ll share with you today.  There is a miracle woven into the experience, although we couldn’t see it at the time of its occurrence.  Ours is a family that believes as many do, that things happen for a reason.

Back in October, we made the decision to find a new home for our dachshund Brady.  We got him five years ago to be a companion to our son, who was 11 at the time.  As Cliff and the family have grown, the time dedicated to Brady was becoming less and less, and we felt another environment might offer him more.

Letting him go was heartbreaking for all of us.  We had taken much time to sort out the pieces and make this choice.  The family who adopted him had to be just right, hand-selected by us.  When the exchange was finished, we were left with a lot of emotions.  We did our best to work them through and allow ourselves to move on with our lives.  When we thought or talked about Brady, we always felt a fusion of love and sadness in our hearts.

And then, at 10:17am yesterday, everything changed.  The family emailed and it wasn’t working out.  We had agreed that should anything like this occur, Brady would come back to us.  The initial feeling was a wave of emotion; but the underlying response was the same for every member of our family:  go get him.  NOW.

Brady’s here with us now, and life looks much different than it did in the quiet calm of early yesterday morning.  We are not who we were when he left, nor is he the same dog.  All of us have experienced a different side of life, and been changed for the better.  The “box of chocolates” turned our world upside down, for just a moment.  We had become used to the quiet of not having a dog to “worry” about.  This was going to reorder our lives yet again.  And for all of us, this love for Brady as our boy began to sing again in all our hearts.

Our “box of chocolates” is a very positive one indeed.  We are making a fresh start with Brady.  And we can love and appreciate him in ways that were impossible and unknown to us before.  He has a loving home where people are happy to see him.  No matter what has transpired to get us to this point, where we are today is filled with love and hope for what can be different because of what we’ve all been through.

There is purpose in everything.  We may not always know why, but there is a design for the order of our lives.  Brady is meant to be here, today, right now.  He chose to be with us, and we are choosing him too.  I believe we have all learned something about ourselves, individually and together, in this process.  Our hearts have felt enormous pain mingled with and overshadowed by the depth of love.  We have learned to be better humans because of what Brady is teaching us.

And so, although we had no idea what Saturday’s “box of chocolates” held for us, the filling was delightful, with unexpected sweetness.  Had our hearts not been through the last three months, we couldn’t have savored the joy we were given.

I believe we followed our hearts the whole way through.  What a unique perspective on how listening to its whispers brings unexpected joy into our lives.  We couldn’t have appreciated Brady the way we do now.  For we were not here.  The whispers of our heart brought us to this place.  And there is a box of exquisitely wrapped chocolates for you too, if you but listen to the whispers of your own heart…..

 

On Being a “Good Girl”

At a quiet moment in my day yesterday, I had one of those AHA! moments.  The kind where something that has always been part of your life changes its meaning and form, a light bulb goes off and you become enlightened to a rich awareness.

We all have the dialogue that goes on in the “back” of our thoughts.  That voice that can be our mother, our judge or another archetypal presence.  In this particular instance, it was that “mother” voice within my own consciousness that came to the stage.  I heard her say “that’s right, good girl” in support of what I was doing.  And in that exact moment….the switch flipped!

I really could feel the energy within myself change.  We’ve all experienced these moments, and really, they’re quite stunning are they not?!  In my younger years, I soaked it up every time my mom said out loud or even hinted at me being a “good girl.”  This meant I was loved, and as many of us do I took on that to be a “good girl” – to be loved – I had to be pleasing in my actions and my words.  A rigorous code of conduct began to weave itself within my subconscious, driving me to always be pleasing to others in order to be liked or loved.

But here’s the AHA! moment, my friends.  The entirety of my being realized in the space of a nano-second – this is not true!  The goodness of my “good girl” is love, kindness, joy.  That was what my mom could feel.  THAT was why she said “good girl” to me, filled with loving sentiment.  I didn’t have to get A’s, make sure my mom was happy, try to hide any perceived flaws or mistakes.  I just was me….and that was enough!  I was a “good girl” and indeed am a “good girl” just because I am Jackie.  Just because I love to love, respect people where they are, offer kindness and caring.  And even in the times when I struggle to find this place in myself, the good does not go away.  I don’t have to earn my goodness….it just is!

What a liberating, exhilarating and incredibly uplifting realization!  This changes the whole order of your existence, an AHA! such as this!

You too are GOOD.  Not because you have to be, but because you are.  I love the first line in Mary Oliver’s poem WILD GEESE:  “you do not have to be good.”  What she conveys is you do not have to try to be good by human standards.  You are good in the eyes of the Universe.  Take a pause, and let that sink in.  You ARE good.

Your heart will tell you so.  When you pause….listen to its whispers and feel the goodness that is you.