Sacred Transmission

Sacred Transmission? Those aren’t the words I felt when coming here to write, and yet that’s what came through as my fingertips began to type. ‘Transition’ was the word I ‘thought’ – ‘transmission’ is what my consciousness chose.

This is where I find myself, my emotions, my awareness. In deep shift, sometimes subtle, other times quite drastic. So many conversations and connections with others who are experiencing the same, and I wonder if you are? For me, this is a place where there is really nothing that demands my attention, my energy, my action. I’m free to follow whatever I feel – something so many dream of – and the reality of creating this space is that I must now sink in and FEEL. The answers – the direction – isn’t always there clear as day, in fact it feels as though it’s more vague than ever. Leaving me with open time and vast opportunity to be Jackie. We’re so not used to this. We ‘get it’ when it comes to taking action. That’s almost ‘easy.’ But what about when there isn’t any action?

sacred transmission

Yes, transition is true. Even more so is that there is a Sacred Transmission being activated in us all – those of us who have consciously chosen to awaken, to receive it, to hold it, live it, breathe it. It doesn’t come with a language we clearly understand, although if we are still enough in our interior life, we can intuit its presence. We can sense the essence of something that feels foreign and yet so beautifully familiar. There is a RAPID dissolution of what we have believed ourselves to be – labels falling away in a matter of moments, sudden and powerful ‘knowing’ coming into light without warning. We are in the process of recoding our DNA, of learning a brand new way of relating to ourselves and this world and at times, it feels a bit unsettling. In other moments, I feel an elation, an ecstatic joy unlike anything I’ve known previously in my life. And even amidst the waves of sadness and unsettling, I feel peace in it. There is no questioning, worrying, feeling anxious. There is simply a witnessing.

It’s extraordinary to witness in myself and in others. I’m certain there are many of you who understand this ‘transmission’ – this new language and way of being in ourselves and together. If you’re feeling the unsettling, if you’re undergoing a tremendous life change within yourself – be it subtle or raging – you’re in this Flow and upgrade of consciousness. It’s sweeping our planet with a fierce power and rapid pace. Welcome to your beautiful self. Sink in and let Her whisper deep into your heart. Feel it all without worry and doubt. Trust you are being ‘redesigned’ by the Divine. Love to you…xoxo

Falling into Emptiness

Emptiness. Just the word alone has a ring of auspiciousness to it, does it not? Something inside us panics when we feel the vibrations of this word, and yet we all know what it feels like to move into a space of emptiness. Of not feeling attached to, connected to any one particular thing.

I find myself in this space of being. There are moments my mind tries to wrangle it into submission, wanting to be busy with something. Trying to think of ways to spend my time. In the life my husband and I have created together, I am left with a lot of free time at this stage in my life. Our youngest daughter will leave for college in just a few weeks, although we found our children home less frequently once they began to drive, so not having them in the house isn’t new. At least not entirely. What does feel new is being at this place where there isn’t going to be any need for mothering, and if I’m honest, I feel that part of my life has run its course. I’ll still be a mother and love and nurture these beautiful beings that came to be ‘ours’ in this life, but not on a daily basis. Neither they nor I want that any longer. In our own ways, we all desire to be free to choose the next steps of our lives.

I’ve also let go of my business as it no longer felt fueled by passion. If there’s anything I know about myself, it’s that passion must be present in whatever I commit to–and I’m still in the process of understanding just how that feels. When I sink into the emptiness, the vast spans of time that are now left uncluttered by doing – I find feelings of not being ‘anything.’ We all know these feelings – they come with needing to accomplish, to label, to prove, to DO something. Only – there’s nothing at this time in my life that is clearly calling to be done. What has called is a clearing of what no longer resonates.

emptiness

It’s not a space we feel comfortable in – the emptiness. The lack of scheduling, of accomplishing, of being needed, of having our time encroached upon – thus proving our importance. And yet, even alongside the insecurities that arise in this dark space of nothingness, I find it’s just what I desire. I want more depth, more real, more passion and meaning. I want to know that when I give my time and energy it’s because it uplifts my soul, it stirs my juices and brings into being more of the beauty I am here to be. We all know the language by now, words like authentic, spiritual, healing, awakening. And while these words and energies have served us well, there’s no longer a pulsing frequency in them for me. There’s a new language waiting to be discovered. There’s something that wishes to be birthed, only it’s not yet come into matter. There is no form, only an understanding of its promise and presence. There are remembrances in my being that haven’t quite yet become identifiable – if they ever will.

It’s unnerving to simply witness the old feelings of not being enough arising for me in this space. And yet, as an observer rather than an active participant in those weighted beliefs, we don’t have to become attached to the emotions we’re used to feeling in that space. We can simply watch. Let ourselves feel whatever arises, but not become consumed by it. If there is to be a consummation in my being, I wish it to be one of passion, of feeling alive in every sense of the word. This time to me feels like sloughing off the layers of what no longer carries life.

I have no idea what comes next. And I have days full of free time in which to sink deeper into myself and whatever she might wish to bring forth. In spite of the discomfort that arises, there is a sense of the luxury afforded to me in doing so. For that I radiate gratitude.

Sacred Blood, Holy Grail

It’s not what you might expect, this post. It’s not about the Magdalene or our endless fabled search for the Holy Grail. You may recall I wrote recently about our blood as women, both literally and symbolically. (How Do You Bleed?) What I came to realize as the words poured through my fingertips is how little we have valued our ability to bleed as women first of all, but ever more deeply how much our blood truly represents. We are the mothers, the creators. That word – Creators – really stood out to me. Bear with me, we’re going to connect some dots around this now….

What I’m witnessing within myself and around me in my circles of women is that we are currently undergoing an immense flow of release. For some it’s old family beliefs and ways of being, others are shifting their ‘work’ focus and still others are taking inventory of our creative energies. How are we giving our energy to this world, and are we feeling a drain or a sense of being alive and awakened in those experiences? With the shifts in consciousness that are now rapidly occurring, for those who choose to tune in to the subtleties, there is crystal clarity in coming into our truth. We can FEEL it like never before. We are reconnecting with the beauty of what it is to be a woman on EVERY level – physically, emotionally, intuitively, creatively. This includes our love of nurturing, our ancient gifts of knowing, our deep longing to move in step with the fire of our passion and our sacred gift of creating.

Diwali_The_Festival_of_Lights

This is where the ‘Sacred Blood, Holy Grail’ comes in, my loves. The more we are releasing, allowing ourselves to let go, to move from what no longer feeds the purity of our souls (let’s not forget, this requires taking the time and space to reclaim our purity) – the more we are creating an emptiness, a space through which our blood can freely flow throughout our being – on every level. We are taking ownership of our health, our desires, our love, our sweetness, our power, our feminine presence. OUR BLOOD – the Holy Grail, the chalice of our very existence. We are falling more and more deeply into ourselves, in love with ourselves – seeing ourselves as holy. No more excuses for the way we love, apologies because our body might not be socially acceptable or because we are alluring by our very nature. We are creating whatever our hearts whisper to us, without censorship. We are AWAKE, alive and filled with the fire to wholly embrace our intimate truth.

So I offer to you, my dear friends, this cup from which to drink; to hold reverent our own sacred blood of presence, of coming into this life and perhaps many others as women. Holy, blessed, Sacred Feminine Women. This is our legacy.

I Am the One

I am the one who has said yes over and over and over again
Whose soul will have HER way with me, claiming every last drop
Of who I am

And I am the one who will continue to be laid bare, stripped of all my strongest protections, left only to be ravaged by HER

I am the one whose heart was ripped wide open, left bleeding and clotting on the floor
Whose beauty became darkness, dirtied by those without eyes to see
Including me

And I am the one who will continue to ignite my radiance, steeping in my own ecstatic beauty  

I am the one whose tears would not come, stymied and stifled and stuffed deep inside
Whose longing left holes in her spirit, felt as gaping chasms of emptiness
And pain

And I am the one who will continue to feel every startling sensation, surrendering myself deep into the folds of HER tender caress

I am the one whose words would not form, terrified to hear my own voice speak out loud
Whose whispers were shunned, silenced by fear and beaten down
Into muted submission

And I am the one who will continue to shout and scream and roar, raging and drenched in the fires of passion

Fiery Love

I am the one, the one who will become HER Lover
Aching, sweating, breathing HER in
As over and over and over
My entire being cries out for HER
Yes….
YES…..
YES! 

Take me, feel me, love me, own me, claim me as yours
Brand my most intimate places with your fires
Burn me from the inside out
Ignite every cell of my being
Penetrating, possessing, purifying
Over and over I whisper….
yes. 

Beautiful Truth of the Green Eyed Monster

Jealousy. Some of us feel it more than others–I am certainly one of those women. I’ve been thinking about it recently, as I’ve told myself I’m being jealous and looked within to discover why. What I’m recognizing is that jealousy is not about wanting to BE someone else or have what they have, it’s about an old sting of lack in ourselves, and specifically not yet having a clear understanding of who we are. When we know who we are, we fall in love with ourselves. We can’t imagine being someone or something else because we are so enamored with all that we already ARE.

And just to be clear, I’m not talking about admiring someone else. I’m talking about jealousy in the way we’ve experienced it as a ‘bad word’ to define how we feel–especially as women toward one another. You rarely hear of a woman truly being jealous of a man, do you? No, most often this is one of those emotions made ugly by way of the patriarchal influence that is now dissolving itself away through the presence of the authentic Divine Feminine.

green wallz.moon.pkWhat I can truly see now, is that jealousy is not ugly. It’s an aspect of our ability to Love, our DESIRE to Love. To love ourselves, to love others, to be in love with all that falls into our lives. To move deep into the space of the heart and FEEL LOVE. Now let’s look from another angle at that ‘green eyed’ monster…..

GREEN. Green is the color of the heart chakra, the color of healing, of life, renewal, rebirth, of our Mother Earth. Green is the color of LOVE. And so, what if jealousy is really a desire for Love? What if we began to FEEL in ourselves that when a pang of ‘jealousy’ strikes, it is merely the whisper of Love reminding us who She is, of who WE are with HER? What if that instant shot of what we consider to be unhappiness is in her reality a beckoning of Love Herself, calling us, pulling us ever more deeply into ourselves, into our beautiful, radiant selves and the gorgeous stream of Love that lives within?

What if, my friends? What if all we have bought and allowed as truth no longer resonates as our reality? What if we opened ourselves to a whole new dictionary and language of being and all these labels have it wrong? What if? Then I would be one powerhouse of pure, GREEN, radiating, gorgeous, pulsing, pour-all-over-you LOVE! And I daresay, so would you.

Her Invitation

Just a week ago a friend indicated that I was keeping myself a bit in the background with my work through Sacred Circle Retreats. Well, she more than indicated – she flat out said so. I could feel she was right, however replied that I’m not feeling called to lead any particular groups or bring something through that space as a guide myself. And I meant it.

Within about three days time, that all came to a screeching HALT! Very little of what felt like actual effort occurred, although some very powerful, Sacred-Feminine-infused conversations transpired and Viola! – I’m now preparing to lead my first ever ‘event.’ My mind, that old recording we all have, wants to keep butting in: ‘Ahem, shouldn’t you be nervous? Do you really think you have something to say about this? Are you even going to be able to keep your thoughts and your self together? You’re terrified of your own voice. Seriously?!’ Nothing happens. No freak out, no physical response from my body to include heart palpitations, sweating in my armpits – NOTHING. She cannot and does not validate that old story. Because it’s no longer true.

'Spiritually Centered' by Karen Zima
‘Spiritually Centered’ by Karen Zima

What IS true is that I’m very excited about this. As soon as I said yes to Her invitation to step out, to speak up, to let my heart’s whispers take the lead, there was a very clear guiding path laid out before me. I could see and feel Her so clearly, illuminating from the center of my soul.

As part of the Awakening Woman series that has been so much of my vision for several years now, I’ll be joining this gorgeous group of five women (now six) and the stories and gifts they have to share. Not only will my senses be stirred through each one of them, but I will bring that inner stirring to those who are present and taking part. The focus for my session is (uhuh, you guessed it) sensuality. And the deeper I delve into this truth through my own body’s wisdom and ancient knowing, the more I discover this is NOT about sex. For too long, sensuality has become synonymous with ‘dirty’ sexuality. I was shocked and disgusted to find these definitions of sensual on Dictionary.com:

sen·su·al

adjective

1. pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal;fleshly.
2. lacking in moral restraints; lewd or unchaste.
3. arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.
4. worldly; materialistic; irreligious.

 
The most accurate description here is #3, and even that does the true essence of sensual very little justice. It’s time for us to speak up in favor of what our hearts, our souls, our bodies know to be true. Sensuality is not a dirty word. There is a fire and a beauty intermingling in my being around this conversation, and I’m very much looking forward to radiating on Her behalf in my upcoming session: Invoking HER Sensuality.

All are welcome to join, if you feel so called. I’m elated to be offering this series and my own personal contribution. Our world needs to remember, we need to dissolve the programming we feel from the patriarchal energies–both within and without. It’s our time, Beloveds. It’s our time….

Details on Awakening Woman:
Crossing the Drawbridge article posted today
Awakening Woman Event Page 

SHE is Not Contained

We keep wanting ‘it’ to be ‘something.’ We go in search of ‘it’ hoping ‘it’ will reveal itself to us. Our minds tell us ‘it’ will be tangible, touchable, definable. And yet, when we go into the space of our hearts all those words and the need for definitions fall away.

Love. Purpose. Calling. Longing. 

What’s the ‘it’ they are leading us to?

Here’s the truth, my loves, there is no ‘it.’

Yes. Take a moment and let that sink in.

Divine Feminine breathing

There is no treasure at the end of the rainbow awaiting our arrival. There is no moment in the middle of a conference where we suddenly feel light shine down upon us and we know what we are here to do.

SHE is not that contained. She is a feeling of elation when our child does something amazing. She is the deep desire we feel for our Lover as our eyes meet. She is the softness of words whispered in comfort to another. She is the rise and fall of our breasts as we take in a vision of something beautiful, stirring our senses into madness for Her.

We long to be stretched bare, to be laid wide open, uncertain of who or where we are, to HAVE to call HER in to our most intimate space where SHE will breathe her Love all over, into and through us.

We find ourselves on this endless search for Her, expecting Her to be standing at the end of the path we’re on, smiling at us with a book full of answers. And yet, She has been here with us all along. Very much like the poem Footprints, She is there when our tears fall, when our hearts sing, when our bodies love and our spirits soar. She is in each moment, if we but pause long enough to breathe Her in.