‘More and more people are realizing to love their mate intimately and honestly is their spiritual practice; the two are not separate.’ ~ Aphrodite’s Daughters
I read an article yesterday titled ‘Danger: How to Know If You’re Having an Emotional Affair‘, and although I understand a bit of the intention, parts of it really fired me up. The overall message in the article felt focused on keeping our hearts ‘in check’ and maintaining a marriage the way it ‘should’ be done.
It’s challenging for me to find the ‘shoulds’ in my marriage, in my love for my husband, my lover. For me, the commitment I feel for him and for what we share and create together comes directly FROM my heart. If we place rules and limitations on what the heart is allowed to feel, to express, to honor, how then can we possibly be in an open, honest relationship with ourselves or our partners?
I’m not advocating for affairs, for blind followings of lust or heartthrob. I’m saying there is a beauty to the raw wildness of our hearts, and if we can trust its whisperings, whatever action we take will ultimately and certainly lead us deeper into a knowing of ourselves and subsequently all those with whom we share intimacy. This is true not only of our lovers and partners in a physical sense, but of those we love on the deepest levels, with whom we can be naked in some way.
To imply that intimacy comes from adhering to a set of rules and how it should be feels in opposition to the very beauty that IS intimacy. Intimacy for me is a purity of self, an allowing of what is rather than a stamping out of what ‘should not’ be. There’s a beautiful unveiling that takes place when we follow the seduction of our hearts. How does one determine, with what measure can anyone possibly say the heart is wrong?
Perhaps there is an attraction, a genuine heart-centered connection occurring. I believe we must first be honest with ourselves regarding what we feel. We must take the temperature of our own beliefs and values, honoring our integrity and intuitive knowing. Walking this way in our world leaves little room for ‘right and wrong’ when it comes to the language of the heart.
My spiritual practice is very much centered around intimacy, as well as the ecstatic movement through what is mine to experience. There is no authority outside of my being that could begin to understand, much less dictate what is right for me personally, or how I ‘should’ engage my marriage, lover, partner. When we dare to cross that line on behalf of another person, to speak THEIR truth as though it were ours to do so, we unravel the integrity of their individual and soul power. What to one may appear and/or feel to be ‘wrong’ may very well be healing and liberating for another.
We must begin to understand the power of the heart, of her voice. We must honor the knowing in another and drop the need to dictate who or what they ‘should’ be. The ‘danger’ is in our fear of what might come, of how we might find beauty in the midst of what this world considers chaos. Our emotions, the calling of our hearts is one of the most potent doorways to the center of all we are. When we shush even the tiniest part of that voice, we create ripples that will hold us still in time. We must give full berth to the love unfolding within, in its purest authentic expression. This, loves, this is our way to intimacy, to holiness and the deepest level of commitment to ourselves, our marriages, our lovers. Love, in her purest, most radiant form – is seduction.