Dear God

I’ve heard it many times in 2012 especially – ask for what you want. Energy is moving so much more quickly, there isn’t a space of months or years during which we are meant to heal, but mere moments, hours, days. The mystical climate of our consciousness is undergoing tremendous transformation. Just take a quick scan of the new television programs, articles in print, movies, etc. Even the media is on board with the spiritual energy that is becoming more and more apparent and ‘mainstream.’ 

Ask for what you want. The message keeps coming, in different ways. Ask your angels, your guides, loved ones–call on any of your team that you feel connected to. They are waiting in the wings to assist you, but it’s important to ask. 

All prayers are answered. I believe that truth. Even when the ‘answers’ don’t look like what we think they will. We have a direct connection to the Universe, God, the Divine. Ask for what you want.

It’s beginning to feel different to me now. I’ve never been one to look far beyond today and articulate just what I want. And yet, specific things have come to mind these last few days. I’m asking. Even more important I’m trusting. Just typing these words, I’m feeling how difficult that is. The words are easy in the mind, aren’t they? Yes, I trust. But drop it down a moment, feel in the core of your being what it is to be so vulnerable as to say – Dear God, I would like _____. And to trust that God is listening, and you could possibly even have _____. It’s not about cars or houses or money. It’s about the desires that live in the purity of your heart. 

Trust. That it’s ok to even ASK. I’m not sure I’m fully past this step. It’s ok to ASK. Ask for what you want. That means it’s ok to WANT? It’s ok to want, to desire. Why does that feel so unnatural in this respect? There’s an old dialogue – we should feel blessed for what we have rather than always wanting more. It feels selfish, greedy to be asking for more when there’s so much abundance in my life already. Who do I think I am?? Asking for something when I have so much. Already I can feel the esteemed ‘judge’ and ‘lecturer’ getting started on me. Besides ‘what makes you think you DESERVE?’

Tears warm my eyes. Ah, here it is. One of those old wounds being fed by the conversations I have with myself. Someone in my energy field, some part of me has decided she is the ruler over whether or not I deserve more. Some being other than the Universe–God–is now deciding what is right for me, what I deserve, how ‘good’ I am, what worth I really have. Without mercy. There is no grace here. Only checklists of what I’ve done and not done. Criteria that determine how I’m rated overall. I can’t possibly measure up. 

The greatest wound is feeling inadequate. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We all have it – somewhere – in our subconscious. It’s been with us through centuries of human existence. We carry it in our DNA. I believe now is the time we are being called to heal it. Not only within ourselves, but on behalf of the planet. 

Ask for what you want. I want to see myself through the eyes of God. I want to stop being so hard on myself and to let Jackie breathe a bit. I want to see love reflected in the eyes of those around me, rather than begin the list of shortcomings I believe they see. I want to heal. Not only for myself, but for my children and their children. For the generations that came before us and have felt unworthy, rejected…not good enough. I want to stand tall in all of who I am. To raise my head up and know that I am perfect as I am. I AM enough. I want to have such compassion for me that it can’t help but overflow to everyone I touch in any way. I want to be used as a channel of grace. I want freedom to let every emotion flow without censor. I want healing on our planet. 

I could go on, as I’m sure could you. I’m asking. Now and going forward. These words are my prayer. Our time is now–for healing, liberation, compassion. Ask for what you want, my friends. And then dig deep inside yourself to find whatever tools you need to trust that it is so. I believe by our very awareness, we are instruments of healing. The more aware we are of what we feel and what we desire, the more we are able to step into our purpose and allow our gifts to be used to uplift and honor ourselves and our planet. Ask for what you want.

This is my prayer. Amen.