The Art of Allowing

Oh my, it feels as though I have so much to say after not writing here for quite some time. I always know it’s time to return–when I’m having conversations with you all in my mind.

I wonder if you feel what I do at just this time–a great shifting in how Life experiences you, and in turn how you experience it–but in the most subtle of ways. Undoubtedly many of us are continuing to move through the spiral of our own journey, unearthing pieces of ourselves, dismantling layers of beliefs and barriers no longer needed. But what has occurred for me over the last couple of months feels quite extraordinary, in the most simple of ways.

Gorgeous Beach Roses, overlooking the marsh at Moody, Maine.
Gorgeous Beach Roses, overlooking the marsh at Moody, Maine.

It’s the first time–EVER–I was on my own for a few weeks this summer, and it was extraordinary. My husband’s father passed away three years ago, and his mother just this January. That leaves my husband as the ‘elder’ in his family, which in itself is quite surreal. There were two properties to be managed – her home to be sorted through, cleaned out and put on the market to sell – and a family cottage on the coast of Maine to be transferred into our ownership and oversight as it’s also a rental property. A friend and I traveled together up to New England and spent a week cleaning, packing, making repairs in the home to be sold. Our time together was filled with laughter, lots of dust and we even managed to get in a few nights out on the town. She then went on to visit family in Canada and I spent the next week by myself at the beach cottage.

I don’t quite have all the words to describe this experience, but I know it changed me in ways I’m not yet aware. When I met my husband nearly 22 years ago, we fell in love and married within less than a year. I moved from my parents’ home to his. So being in this sacred place I love so much and having it all to myself as the energetic shift in ownership occurred was a beautiful gift. I loved every minute. My dear friend Joss unknowingly spoke what’s true in my heart – Moody Beach is a healing space for me. In years past, it has felt very much in my awareness. This year, it was much more as though I was simply allowing myself to love each moment for what it was. There wasn’t anything BIG or earth-shattering that I felt or recognized inwardly. The movement has been subtle, beautiful, gentle. And I feel that is the energy currently settling into our consciousness as the old paradigm of fear and ‘doing the right thing’ march silently out of focus.

There’s so much I could say, but I do tend to write long posts already, so will try to simplify. I have witnessed the delicate grace having a similar impact on several occasions–moving my spirit when I wasn’t even aware it was happening. First, after a week by myself, I was uncertain if I was ready for my family to arrive. We return to Moody Beach each summer – sometimes just my husband and I, other times the kids will go with us; this year everyone journeyed north. They would fly in on Tuesday, but Sunday evening and even a bit on Monday morning I was concerned I might not be so happy to see them. A gentle breeze of grace shifted my feelings as Monday went on – and I felt a bit lonely accompanied by a longing to connect with my family. When they landed on Tuesday, my heart leapt with joy to see these amazing beings who chose me for their wife and mother.  I felt – and still do – quite amazed with how my emotions and heart moved just as was needed in those moments.

On a brilliantly warm and sunny Friday afternoon, I walked to the nearby marsh to find a large flock of geese enjoying the high tide. They reminded me....'you do not have to be good.'
On a brilliantly warm and sunny Friday afternoon, I walked to the nearby marsh to find a large flock of geese enjoying the high tide. They reminded me….’you do not have to be good.’

Similar experiences happened when it was time for the kids to go, for us to come home from the beach and most recently with my work. My husband and I would spend the remaining week together in New England, and although I so looked forward to that, I felt pangs of grief as I watched my children walk towards their gate for the flight home. When we traveled back home to Atlanta over two days’ journey, I wasn’t so sure coming ‘home’ would be welcome. Halfway through day two, I sensed the shift and desire to be in my beautiful Atlanta HOME once again. And with Sacred Circle Retreats – upon leaving closing out our Spring Program in May, I felt burnt out, unsure about continuing this forward. That feeling of uncertainty seemed to increase as my distance from the work and community did. Just a few weeks ago I wondered if I would be canceling the Fall Program because my heart was no longer in it. My friend and mentor Fay Hart is always talking about miracles and how they are everywhere. I’m convinced a miracle occurred because the passion for this work, for our Fall Program and the women with whom I’m so honored to work has only grown immensely over the last few weeks and I’m elated to launch our new series of events this evening.

Two quotes come to me in closing. The first I read just this morning and shared on the Sacred Circle Retreats FB page, which then led me to write this post (finally!):

Nonresistance is the key to the greatest power in the universe. Through it, consciousness (spirit) is freed from its imprisonment in form. ~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

The second seems to sum up my summer retreat (because for me it WAS a retreat, they come in many forms, my friends):

You do not have to be good…..
You have only to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. ~ Mary Oliver, Wild Geese poem

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‘Good Karma,’ Angels & Grace

Something happens when we allow ourselves to be in a space of healing, surrender and honesty with the truth that lives beneath the surface. There can be a great darkness…and yet, the light is always present. As we practice the art of allowing without becoming attached to feelings and perceptions, streams of radiance begin to shine through. At first, there are only glimpses, as the emotions that arise can be overwhelming. But as we continue to be honest, to be true to the space we’re in, it’s almost as though there is a sudden moment when the light pervades over even the darkest and most subtle shadows. 

It was a contemplative process determining just how to write this post and what to focus on: good karma, angelic presence or the showering of Grace? All three have played a role in the shift I’m feeling, and so all three will have a place in this sharing.

Angelic presence….when my 19 year old daughter was hit head on Monday evening and walked away unharmed aside from bumps and bruises. It feels to me that people toss around connection to the ‘angels’ all too easily, not really in tune with what that can mean. So I’ve held back my own effort to bring angels into my life on a regular basis. Yes, of course I believe in them…but to say things like ‘the angels protected me’ or ‘angels are all around us’ – hasn’t felt real enough to own as my truth. 

These last few months, however, it seems they WANT me to sense them, to call on them, to feel them. So when Lauren was indeed protected from what could have been a devastating accident–well, the skeptic has to take a back seat. Not only was she not seriously hurt, she was also flanked by people who took care of her during the 45 minutes it took us to get to where she was. I prayed the whole ride. And guess what? I asked the angels to surround her. They not only heard me, they responded without delay.

 ‘You have some really Good Karma.’ 

This bit requires a short back story: we purchased two vehicles just three weeks ago – one for Lauren and one for our other daughter. The search to find a car for each wasn’t easy, as teenage budgets can only support so much. Just as it was getting frustrating and discouraging–we came across not one but TWO perfect cars–both through our mechanic. Trusted, reliable, affordable. Perfect. Bought them both after a test drive and we were good to go. During this process, I got to know Mary the receptionist at the mechanic’s shop a little bit. She knew what we’d been through to find a car, and understood what a blessing it was when these two appeared seemingly ‘out of nowhere.’ She shared our devastation when I called to let them know Lauren’s car had been totaled in the crash. 

What happened next just continues the miracle. The accident was Monday night. Tuesday morning Lauren made a post on her Facebook page about being in search of a new car. Only ONE person replied. Someone who knows Lauren very well and  just thinks the world of her. A Volvo isn’t the ‘ideal’ college student vehicle, and yet once again – a trusted, reliable and affordable car was available with perfect timing. We went yesterday to drive it – and ended up buying the car.

In a conversation with Mary I shared our story. She was in awe and said something about my aura (we’ve never talked on a spiritual level) and then ‘you have some really good karma.’ The weight and truth of her statement hit me. I do! I’m a firm believer that every situation is filled with purpose and every challenge offers something positive to us. We can always ‘recover’ and often we are gifted in some way with more than what we had initially. Lauren’s car accident was a horrible experience in the moment, but aside from some panic, pain and rushing around, the outcome has been incredibly positive. Hearing Mary say these words seemed to shake me out of the melancholy I’ve been feeling. It was like a bit of light shining through….a sweet reminder from the Universe that All is Well. One that I could actually FEEL!!

Grace…all of this is the sweet flow of grace. I know it and I feel it to be so. Last week I ordered two books connected with St. Teresa of Avila. It’s her teachings that led me to Caroline Myss and a class on Mysticism. In that space I learned of the power, presence, compassion and sacredness of Grace. She has been with us all this time. I know she held me as I struggled to find my grounding. Even when I can’t feel her, I know the vision of her essence wrapped around me is real. 

I’m grateful for all we’ve been through this week. For the bond between parents and their children. For the ability to take care of Lauren as she gets back on her feet. For the abundance in our life that allows us to provide. For the Grace that awakens us from the deepest slumber of our spirits. For the gift it is to be me. 

Amen. xo 

 

Miracle of a Moment

In each moment lives the promise of something that can change your life, shift your perspective, bring you closer to the truth of who you are. It’s all about how we approach the moment, how we open ourselves to connecting to the power that is inherently present in its space.

I’m feeling this on so many levels in my life. Yesterday marked 20 years since my first date with George–in the tiniest opening of that one moment that our hearts connected, worlds changed inside each of us. We realized on some level that we would spend our lives together, create a family, traverse through much heartbreak and extraordinary celebrations. Even if our minds hadn’t yet caught up to the inner knowing that was guiding our paths, there was something much deeper at work between us–all in the space of a moment.

From another perspective, I’m savoring each moment of these few days remaining before we are full force into the momentum of the holidays with family arriving to visit on Thursday and remaining until after Christmas in our home. This, of course, shifts the energy in this serene little sanctuary we’ve created for ourselves, and so the moments that follow will be in a much different atmosphere. And yet, I know…the miracles are possible in EVERY moment, not just the ones that ‘feel’ nice. So as much as I love my quiet, orderly home, I also am reminding myself of the joy, love and connection that will be funneling into this space with each bit of laughter and sentiment of love that is to come. I’m savoring these remaining moments of quiet, stillness….and also honoring that there are days of family sharing to follow. Each one carries its own precious gifts.

Just before coming here to write, I watched the following video of a baby bat being cared for by humans after having been abandoned by his mother. As I found myself lost in the awe of watching this miracle of life being so honored, loved and nurtured, the tears started to form. In the sacred space of a moment, that bat found such warmth in being offered the loving care that his mother couldn’t provide. His story touched my heart in an instant, as love filled my entire being like the hot stream of grace. It happened without a thought, without action. Love can shift our course so quickly, can’t it?

So to you, sweet friends, I offer this reminder: savor the moments you have. Not out of fear for the ones you might not have, but through openness to the power of love and all She can bring you. We don’t know what miracles each moment may hold for us. Open yourself, listen to your heart as she whispers love’s language and allow the moment to completely enfold you. xoxo

Believe in Believing

Believing.  Sometimes it seems so difficult to us as students in Earth school.  How does one define what it is to “believe” in something unseen, unknown?  And what is it that suddenly can “make a believer” out of us when we least expect it?

The Universe works in her own timing.  We are all given the capacity to have enormous faith in the unexplainable.  For some it happens naturally.  Others need to experience an awakening “event” to connect with their inner knowing.  And yet for many, it springs from the “chicken or the egg” syndrome.  We must choose to believe in order to experience.  For this group there is no “Divine miracle” that suddenly wakes us up from our unconscious slumber.  Instead, it becomes a choice, made each day as we are able, to view our world from a different perspective.

Enfolded in that choice is the desire to connect to what we already “know” in the most conscious space of our being.  We are one with the infinite cosmos.  We are one with the magic of Spirit infused into every miracle we welcome into our lives. And as we take these steps, CHOOSING to believe, we become the believer.  The journey is to “believe in believing.”  For when you do–your eyes open wide with the wonder of it all.  Your heart pumps stronger, feeling fuller with the pulse of life.  Your soul opens up to the warmth of sun shining down on you.  Love is deeper.  Joy is greater.  Laughter is louder.  Tears are more heartfelt.  Faith is stronger.  The thought of stepping through a door into something unknown no longer holds you frozen in fear.  Your entire being begins to move with grace, open to the possibilities and willing to risk what has been your comfort zone.

This is my challenge to you today.  Open yourself, expand your awareness–“believe in believing.”  And if you wonder where to channel this energy in your day–you know what to do my friends.  Breathe deeply into yourself….open your inner listening….and hear…..the whispers of your heart……