Feeling Blessed

I’m not sure what to write today, only that I wish to be here and share. Generally I check in with my heart to see what lives there. Today, it just made me feel like smiling when I looked within. Our home is glistening with preparations for family that arrives today. Homemade holiday cookies are sitting here on the counter, bright and delicious on their Santa cookie plate. Yesterday was spent with my sisters and daughter baking them–‘laughing all the way.’ Although our lives are moving to the beat of a different drum during this time of year, there is something that feels alive and invigorated with the energy and rhythm of it all.

A sense of ONEness with our family, with loved ones present and past, with our holiday traditions steeped in the history of our family going back generations–these are the treasures that warm my heart. It feels important to honor who we are and where we’ve come from. Although the language may be different, the reality is that we are being offered this time of year to really let ourselves be seen, to love and allow love to enter our hearts. Walls come down as we fill with the warmth of connection.

I’m setting my intention to even more so honor my heart whispers this holiday season. With gratitude in my heart for all that has come since I embarked on this chapter of conscious open heartedness nearly a year ago, I’m choosing to open myself even more to the love that will surely be present in the people around me. And on occasion remember to close my eyes in awareness, remembering these are Divine beings that grace my presence. We are so very blessed.

I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to thank each of you who share this space with me. It’s been nearly a year since I began writing (blogging, but I really don’t like that word so much) again. Feeling your love and support on this journey is a gift indeed. I so appreciate you. Thank you all for the authentic presence you have brought here…and for opening your heart to me. When we open our hearts, we support others in doing the same. I’m feeling the grace of your gift that is YOU.

May your hearts be filled with love
Your homes with laughter and warmth.
And may you, too feel the brightening of quiet corners
Where the Light shines through.

All my love to each one of you.

Every Step Supported

I find myself once again in awe of what the Universe can accomplish! And truly my friends, I can’t explain to you why this is, for I trust fully in the gifts that seem to be consistently surrounding me. Whatever it is that might be needed along the way, it seems to come at times without any awareness on my part that it was even a possibility.

Most recently I found myself having such a delightful time working with friends to create these beautiful little WordPress sites. It has become a form of canvas on which to paint the essence of one’s being, using the design, photos and language to allow the energy to unfold. Often I’ve thought what a fun little business this might be–and yet the fear of THAT client coming along who might desire a website beyond my knowledge and ability, has kept me circling, uncertain, unable to commit.

Just two days ago, I committed–fully. The evening before doing so, I found myself in tears with the realization that this could be REAL. From deep within my being came the knowledge, the knowing that once I said YES the doors would swing WIDE OPEN. In that moment, the emotions were not centered around the inability to create my dreams but the full awesomeness of the dreams coming true with just one word: YES.

And so setting the fear aside, I chose to stand up and just go with the Flow. When the client came along that needed something beyond my abilities, I would be honest and let them know perhaps I am not the right person for the job. Without any thought otherwise, I felt at peace with this next step and have begun to gather the pieces and put things in motion.

What has come next truly ‘knocks my socks off!’ Speaking with a very dear friend today, Stephen Michael Marcus of the groundbreaking Sacred Ground technology, brought about a whole new Collaboration and option for those clients who desire a bit more advanced website. Stephen is a highly intelligent, very intuitive and extremely loving being filled with so much knowledge and understanding of these more complex and intricate pieces. As we began the dialogue initiated through simple questions about me getting started, a beautiful connection began unfolding.

Are you getting this my friends? The Universe sent me what was needed…supporting me all the way in places where I had let go and wasn’t feeling fearful any longer. I wasn’t LOOKING for it…and truly in some ways hadn’t specifically asked for THIS to be a solution. And yet, we came together, each in our own space and journey, and are sharing our unique energies and gifts in a way that will not only honor our creative desires, but will honor and uplift others as well.

The miraculous occurrence of this continues to astound me….so much so, I’m not even certain I’ve effectively put it into words. What I wish for you to know, to feel deep within your being, to listen to from the quietest whispers of your heart is this dear loved ones: ALWAYS–ALWAYS you are loved, supported and held in the arms of grace. ALWAYS.

Just as You Are

As part of the fall program Revolution4Evolution, I’ve been taking classes and preparing myself to stand fully behind my beliefs that WE are the change. One of the teachers and the visionary behind the program Malathy Drew assured us that this work would shine a light on the places where we have yet to align our actions–our outer world, with our beliefs–our inner world. I understood it when she said it, and could see how that would be absolutely true.

I now find myself LIVING it. Part of what I’m currently working on is creating a short ‘welcome’ video for my new FB page. Loving words as I do, it seems it would be so simple: just sit down, set aside the nerves and talk from the heart. Oh dear friends, it’s not going ‘according to plan.’ Try as I might, there’s something I struggle to move past in this process and the Universe has her own Divine timing. My mind understands the message: BE AUTHENTIC. YOU ARE PERFECT just as you are. And yet, something deeper within has taken on a very different belief and is now wrestling to maintain its hold.

This space is unexpected and unnerving. There’s a great sense of frustration and again–my MIND understands surrender is necessary. But here’s the odd paradox contained within this inner conflict: there’s also a Divine timing in the act of surrender. Just knowing it, realizing it’s needed–these are not enough. There has to be a very profound shift within the interior of oneself that alchemically begins to RELEASE the toxic beliefs and dialogue contained within the shadows of our being.

Something so simple–proving to be painfully difficult. Even while I realize there is a transforming presence in this space, I continue to feel exhausted, frustrated and at odds with it. So often, we are transformed and connected to the Divine through the simplest of our life’s experiences. What feels so ‘small’ becomes enormous when we are facing the truth of ourselves and letting go of remnants from our past programming.

I’ve attached a photo of another of our beautiful, Divine feline companions. Pete was a rescue and has brought to us the energy of being enough ‘just as you are.’ He has no idea one of his eyes is missing. His life is no less filled with love and serenity. Pete is always willing to purr a sweet whispers of love and has a very peaceful and content presence about him. My heart fills with love….and I am reminded that I am already perfect as I am. Time to let go of expectations for it to ‘look’ a certain way–even those I didn’t realize were deeply rooted in my being.

I thank you for allowing me to share with you, and ask for your love and prayers. Just being in this space of allowing the truth to be stated and feeling the power of these words and this experience is healing. I’m certain my heart is whispering….and for me the work is to see and release the layers blocking my soul from hearing. My spirit is willing…and my intention today is to connect to the inner voice and just allow it to be so. Much love to you all…xoxo

Opening Up and Stepping Out

Fears will bind us.  Love will free us.  We know this, we’ve heard it so often as we travel in our circles of connection.  And somehow its reality eludes us until a space of our own inner fear is awakened.  

I’m struck by this truth on this lovely morning, as I contemplate my own journey.  Just a few years ago I recall not wanting to talk about the energy of pure Love I felt so strongly within–out of fear that people would reject it.  Seems so silly now, doesn’t it?  Who would reject LOVE?  And yet, in my own dialogue lived the belief that it was too ‘fluffy,’ too ‘positive’–TOO much!  Looking back now I realize how fearful I was to allow love to flow freely within and without.

Caroline Myss talks about the ego’s fear of humiliation as the chain that holds us in place.  To step fully into the grace of who we are, to allow our spirit to shine as it so naturally desires to, to enter the sacredness of our souls and be at peace with ourselves–we often have to let go of the fear we’ll be humiliated for it.  We have to let go and just trust the Universe holds us in her arms and is always there to catch us, whatever may come.  And here’s what has proven true for me friends: the fear is so much greater than any humiliation that has come.  For in reality, the humiliation enters from my OWN monkey mind.  I was my soul’s greatest enemy in those moments.  It was my own ego that silenced the voice of my spirit.

And here’s what else is true:  to take the risk, to let go, to choose to BE me no matter what may come–incredibly liberating and deeply gratifying.  There is a sense of openness, connection, purity, grace that occurs.  So much so, that I struggle to find the words to define it.  And so I’ll leave it at this:  there is so much love in my heart–in ALL of our hearts–that to contain it closes us off from the sacred journey we are here to travel. 

For in truth, the humiliation transforms into humility of spirit.  We see the greatness of our spirit, and recognize the folly of our ego.  Only when we understand the dance of these two, only when we can fully acknowledge both the shadow and light of our presence do we move forward into empowerment, and one of the greatest gifts offered to us: authenticity.

This is my heart’s desire.  To live authentically, connecting with all of Life, offering the service of my soul to uplift and honor our planet.  This is the seed I choose to nurture.  And the result will be the beautiful, bountiful blossoms of Divine Love.  This is my truth.  I know it’s so because I’m listening and I hear it echoed…in the whispers of my heart…..

Patience is a Virtue

While that may be true, I’m not sure it’s a virtue I’ve mastered very well–if at all.  But that doesn’t mean the Universe isn’t asking me to continue learning and putting in my best effort to be patient along the way.  I’m not talking about the kind of patience it takes to wait nine months for a baby to arrive, nor the patience we need to save diligently for a large purchase we would really like to have right now.  No–the patience needed at this time is that of letting Spirit work in her own time.  Allowing the process to unfold as it will, without trying to exert human efforts in an attempt to force it through.  I seem to remember something about a camel through the eye of a needle or some similar notion from the days of church; meaning–that would be a miracle and is not something that can be FORCED or made to happen by any amount of human desire.

Isn’t this where we find ourselves at times?  Situations that occur in our lives, leaving us with the awareness that something is out of balance…but without the power to instantly create the change needed.  It’s a process, and perhaps it’s more like those nine months of waiting for the baby than I originally thought.  That human life has to undergo several transformations before entering this new plane of existence.  During that time, the protection of the mother’s womb is where the tiny new life is most protected, nurtured and given the conditions in which to grow.  Without this safe place, the life may not survive.

Do you recall a time in your life when you have been “in the womb” of protection, needing that time and space to evolve into a new form of yourself?  We can’t possibly know or be who we will become at the end of the process.  All we can do is remain in the NOW of it.  And what serves us best in this place is to allow Spirit to move through us, changing us along the way.  There’s no roadmap directing us, highlighting the path to get there or what it will look like once we do.  It’s the little “hints” and messages along the way–the whispers that serve as our travel guide.  That is why we are on the JOURNEY friends. 

In this place, I surrender myself to the process.  Opening my heart to whatever is needed to heal and become the vessel of love and compassion I choose to be.  AHA! Here is where we do have human power to be part of the change! We CHOOSE.  We may not be able to control the process, but we can choose how to respond to its presence.  Fight or surrender? I choose surrender.  For in doing so, it is to the force of Spirit that we offer ourselves.  We choose to be channels of Divine love and healing, letting go of our ego selves and lightening the burden of human “stuff” we carry. 

The word “entrust” is synonymous with surrender.  The Divine is the very womb of our protection, and a safe place to land.  Can we not entrust ourselves to the truth of this?  Surrender enters each of our lives at various times on the journey.  We are all called to evolve, to let go, to change and move more deeply into ourselves.  What is your present call?  How will you surrender and allow yourself to become the change?  Be still, listen.  For the answer comes…in the whispers of your heart…..

When You Least Expect It

I’ve found this is how some of the most amazing moments of my life have come into form:  when I’ve least expected amazement to enter the stage of my presence.  And yet, I find myself awed each time it occurs, enraptured in the Divine flow of the miracle in which I am a part. 

The most clear example of this was meeting my husband over 20 years ago.  I was just about twenty myself then, and made the conscious choice I wasn’t going to just mess around and take lightly “relationships” with men any longer.  Enough.  I was going to just focus on myself, my life, where I was headed and what I wanted.  Oddly enough, what I always wanted from the time I can remember was to grow up, get married and have children.  That’s it.  Simple.  I was ready at 20 years old–I wanted the commitment, the relationship, the lifestyle of being a mom.  But it just wasn’t happening.  So it was time to redirect.

That was in November.  We had our first date December 12th.  We were engaged by Valentine’s Day…and married just six months later.  Our oldest daughter was born the following August–15 days before our one year anniversary.  I couldn’t have imagined this was how the next year and a half of my life would be when I consciously shifted my focus, my energy, my belief system.  The decision at the time was significant, but truly, I had no idea just how much.  As I let go of needing approval from the men I casually met in my life, my heart’s desire waited just around the corner–when I least expected it!

Don’t you find the same in your life?  It goes back to another post I made some time ago about the Universe having so much more for us than we could ever dream of for ourselves.  I didn’t dream of THIS life I’m living–not the way it looks up close.  In my heart it was just the family unit of loving connection and growing together.  Something I had grown up with and wanted to carry on as part of my own legacy and life purpose.  The details of how it would all come together didn’t matter.  And the Universe has blessed me with so much more than I could have ever asked for–or known was available for ME. 

I love this journey.  On a daily basis I continue to be amazed with All That Is and the stream of loving consciousness and connection that flows into my life.  My voice expands more and more as I allow its energy to move through me and open my heart to who I am.  Living authentic and speaking out loud matter to me very much.  What I have “least expected” is the generous outpouring of love that comes from within.  But it’s not only within myself I find and feel so intimately this Divine love–I continue to be in awe and daily touched by the depth and raw purity of the love that is available to all of us in so many ways from around the globe.  It’s always there my friends.  ALWAYS.  If we’re not feeling it, then somehow, we’re not allowing it. 

Take a moment to consider where in your life it’s time to let go of old beliefs.  And I promise you that as you do–as you clean out that old closet and make room for something “new”–you too will have the abundance of your heart’s desire “when you least expect it.”  It won’t be wrapped in the packaging you’re anticipating either.  Your heart’s desire will come to you in the form Divine Consciousness–how the Universe sees the whispers of your heart.  Because All That Is sees beyond the “stuff” we carry, into the deepest core of our truth–the soul of our being.  And if we choose to, we can enter the surface of that sacred space through the channel of listening…..to the whispers of our hearts…..

Soul Fragments

“Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could have been any different.” ~ Oprah

Really just take a moment and let your self fully digest this concept. We’ve all learned about forgiveness, but consider the spiritual alchemy of this statement.  “Giving up hope” – something we are not often inclined to do.  Instead we put an enormous amount of energy into hoping, wishing, attracting.  And yet–full reality is we cannot change the past.  So why “wish” it wouldn’t have happened the way it did?  What you have experienced is already imprinted on your spirit and your life–as part of who you are and where you’ve been.  Even if you would not repeat those same experiences, even if you are different today than you were then–the truth remains they are still a part of what makes you YOU.

Let’s begin with how the events of our life shape us, stretch us, grow us and support us in becoming more fully the living essence of the Divine.  We are meant to have challenges, we are meant to experience the fullness of both joy and pain.  The soul has no labels on what transpires in our lives, it is the human mind that creates such storylines.  We are merely players in a Divine play, we are the characters acting out what is meant to inspire, enlighten, empower and move us in our Earth journey.  The soul understands there is a richness in the life of Earth school.  And the soul doesn’t judge what we encounter along the way.

Here’s what happens when we hold onto something past its time in our lives:  the spirit splits, leaving a piece of YOU in that space of time.  You become fragmented and the ability to bring yourself present is challenging if not impossible.  For if you hold onto something from the past, a similar emotion will be triggered in present time, preventing you from being open to what is available to you NOW as you are filled up with hurt, anger, resentment, frustration.  Your cup is too full.  Your spirit is left in a trail over the years of your life and you remain “broken.”

Forgiveness, my friends.  Just letting go of the hope, the wish, the desire for things to have been different than they were.  If you are on this journey, then somewhere inside of you is a belief in the Divine purpose of our existence–ALL of our existence.  We can’t then opt to say, well, Spirit wanted this wonderful blessing for me, but evil forces brought on that negative experience.  And it is we HUMANS who have given these labels of “good” and “bad.”  But that’s a whole other day’s discussion….

Here’s what’s true:  We grow as fast as we choose to.  Can you choose to forgive?  To let go, to accept your life experiences as part of your necessary journey to embrace the beautiful Divine spirit you are?  It’s a choice.  How ready are you to make it?

Begin with the things you can let go of, taking the time you need to work through this process.  Write down all that you know you’re holding on to still, and then allow yourself to go on and write the things you weren’t aware of; once you begin, it will flow naturally.  And then, start where you can, the places you’re ready to acknowledge as part of your journey.

Don’t forget to include the forgiveness you need to give yourself.  Turn inward and find compassion for who you were then, understanding we are constantly evolving and today you might choose differently.  Find love for yourself as you hold the greatest power there is to love YOU.  Your soul knows it, your heart feels it.  Listen……for if you allow it, you will hear it in the gentlest of whispers……