‘Vida Loca’

I’m delighted to be sharing a ‘first’ here on A Heart’s Whispers: Fay Hart has written a guest blog–by request. It’s an honor to have her share in this personal and intimate space, especially as ‘processing’ with Fay has brought about an instrumental shift in my life over the last several months. I love how she so openly shares her own truth, and we become student & teacher to and for one another. There is no pretense of knowing or being more than the client–only that of being a guide to our inner beauty and truth. I’ve learned to respect, listen to and honor my body as a companion and spiritual director of what is true for me…and to release more and more of the subconscious desire to control out of fear.

I invite each of you to take a moment and visit Fay’s uniquely designed website, and to consider sharing an Archangel Reading with her. The changes feel as though they are subtle as you open to the energy of the Divine in working with Fay, and yet the shifts that occur are profound and immediate.  

There is so much I could say to introduce you to this angel who appeared in my life. She is a gifted Poet and Self Awareness Coach, and I’m honored to share with you a glimpse into her own journey. Without further adieu, I give you Fay Hart and a bit of ‘crazy.’ 

VIDA LOCA

“Are you crazy?” was a question I got asked more than once on a recent trip home to Florida, when I told people I live in Mexico. I peered into that thought. ‘Am I crazy?’ I wondered. I looked all the way back through my adventurous life. ‘You must be crazy!’ yelled my brother when he found out I’d hitchhiked to Tuscaloosa to see the Rolling Stones. ‘Are you nuts?’ asked my neighbor when I headed off to London with three hundred bucks and a vague possibility of a boyfriend. ‘You must be mad!’ said my sad college professor when I announced I was declining a teaching position at the uber cool Goldsmith’s College in favour of becoming a postwoman. ‘Maybe I am crazy,’ I concluded. But I remember R.D. Laing, writing about schizophrenic women, suggesting perhaps they weren’t insane but ‘struggling to make sense of a senseless situation’. And a lot of what was so-called normal or sane for women I looked up to sure looked senseless to me. So I followed my heart instead of my head, often winding up in precarious situations, living off my wits, scraping by, fearful and worried but alive and vital and somehow free.

My last great fit of madness, packing up my London life of thirty years to allow something new to happen, brought the same reaction. My gorgeous lover shook his head in disbelief. ‘But it’s insane,’ he said. ‘There’s nowhere to live but London. You can’t live in America, it’s not a country – it’s a whole bloody continent!’ I’ll admit there were nights I cried myself to sleep wishing I could just take it all back – the whole damn thing and just have worked at the phone company for thirty years and be looking forward to a grandmotherly retirement of brownie baking and bingo. But there was no turning back from my vida loca. Throwing myself into the abyss, whole new worlds opened up and I wound up buying a house in Mexico – at a yard sale no less! And now I am on the wildest ride of my life. Living quietly among the gentle Mexican people. Moving ever more deeply into the truth of who I am, who I have always been. And I’m pretty sure I’m not crazy. All the heartache, self-doubt, second thoughts and cold feet that I’ve elbowed my way through as I’ve mustered the courage to act crazy, have revealed themselves to be beautiful gifts, guiding me to my life’s purpose. Along with a traditional university degree, I have a PhD in anxiety, which serves me as I help people face their fears and release limiting belief patterns that prevent them from being peaceful. And I echo the words of Hafiz…

You don’t have to act crazy anymore –

We all know you were good at that

Now retire, my dear,

From all that hard work you do

Of bringing pain to your sweet eyes and heart.

Look in a clear mountain mirror –

See the Beautiful Ancient Warrior

And the Divine elements

You always carry inside…

I would love to hear your thoughts. And please do take a moment to connect with Fay:

Twitter ~ @fayhart101

Facebook ~ FAY

Website ~ followfay.com

A Soul’s Longing


Empty.

Waiting. Wanting.

Ready to be filled up.

Aching for something…someone

Absent of human form

Exceeding my physical reach.

 

Blocks. Desperation.

Struggling, reaching

Unable to grasp, to go beyond

To get within

The castle of my soul.

 

Dark night?

I don’t know.

Tears beg to come, but don’t.

Words begin to form–

Only to fall apart again.

 

Empty, hungry.

Frenzy building beneath the surface.

What is it?

Holding me here….

Blocked, just outside the veil.

 

Why can’t I enter?

I hear the call, and then it’s gone.

How do I get from here to there?

What is the next step to take?

I can’t see it nor feel it.

 

What is here to guide my way?

I’m asking…pleading.

Come to me.

 

Let me feel you in every pore of my being

Taste your sweetness lingering on my lips

Hear you with the ears of my heart

Know you absent of words spoken aloud

See you again behind the lids of my eyes.

 

Let me know it’s you

I long for you.

Be with me.

 

This is the cry of my soul,

The ache in my heart–

The restlessness of my being.

Come to me

As though we are one.

 

I open myself to you….

Ready, willing, surrendering

Into the grace of your presence.

 

Amen.

 



			
					

Undoing ‘Good’

The first line of Mary Oliver’s poem, Wild Geese, playing with my thoughts, my heart, my emotions this morning–and quite suddenly. 

‘YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD’

It’s one of my most favorite lines of poetry, seared into my consciousness during an intensive with my beloved teacher Andrew Harvey. I loved it as soon as I heard it–felt something release inside myself, liberated. 

Raw, random, personal thoughts fill the space in this post….followed by a pause, feeling, listening, tuning in. What does that mean: ‘You do not have to be good’ ? 

It seems to be a statement to define the unraveling of who we ‘thought’ we were–who I thought I was. 

Every time it comes around again, it feels as though there is a clear shift occurring in my belief system, very visible, very palpably felt. While I’m not yet ready to share the details of this transition, I’m soothed by Mary Oliver’s statement to us all: You do not have to be good. 

Funny how it is, though isn’t it–‘good’–a goal we can chase all our lives and never quite reach it. 

Because it’s a fallacy, an illusion that we have taken on and decided holds our truth. 

Then just as we release one layer of that illusion, another reveals itself–opening the cracks that lead to healing, surrender….wholeness. 

And so it goes….the spiral, the cycle of this journey. Letting go….of ‘being good.’ 

Instead….just BEing. Allowing. 

Thank you, Mary Oliver for sharing such richness and Universal truth. 

My statement to myself this day: I do not have to be good. 

I have only to be ME. And THAT is enough. 

Desiderata of Happiness

After just watching Morgan Freeman on Oprah’s ‘Master Class’ and hearing him mention some of the lines in this poem, I had to take time to read it in its entirety. Reminds me of Mother Teresa’s ‘Do Good Anyway.’ Wise words from open hearts. ‘Be gentle with yourself’…..love that line. Another poem comes to mind, Mary Oliver’s ‘Wild Geese’ in which she begins with the line: ‘You do not have to be good.‘ 

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy. ~ Max Ehrmann

LOVE…Is All There Is

LOVE….
is all there is.

She is the whispers of our hearts
The rhythm of our breath.

She is the rising of the waves
The roar of their break upon the shore.

She is the branch of a tree
With arms outstretched
In honor to her presence.

She is the soft and gentle voice
We hear in the quietest of moments.

LOVE is all there is.

She is the warmth of embrace
The comfort of a smile.

She is the silence of morning
Kissed with dew.

She is the laughter of a child
Delighted with her own presence.

She is the beauty of the rose
Opening to welcome warmth of sunshine
To the center of her blossom.

LOVE is all there is.

She is the sparkle of our eyes
Window of who we are.

She is the beating of our hearts
Life force of our being.

She is the tears on our cheeks
Taking down our walls.

She is the guidance of our souls
Compelling us to take action on her behalf.

She is the light of our spirits
Honoring ourselves and others.

LOVE is all there is.

She is the force that drives us onward
Gives us purpose
Sparks our fire
Soothes our pain
Lights our creativity
Supports the fullness of our being.

LOVE….
Is ALL there is.

Whispers of Love

WHISPERS OF LOVE

May the tears you hold within be released in the moment of sweet surrender.

May the love in your heart be deeply felt and shared with others.

May the joy of your laughter be lifted high above the clouds and heard around the world.

May the warmth of your smile light up the faces of those with whom you share it.

May the brilliance of your being shine bright for all to see.

May the purity of your spirit soothe the pain of another.

May the softness of your presence become the embrace of grace.

May the boldness of your inner fire be the courage that moves you forward.

May the sacredness of your self be remembered in your mirrored reflection.

May the Divine whispers of your soul be ever heard through the entirety of who you are.

May you feel wrapped in the arms of love, touched by the hand of kindness and honored for the authenticity of YOU. ♥

‘Love After Love’

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

I heard this poem today as I listened to Oprah’s Lifeclass with Eckhart Tolle, streaming live on her FB page: Oprah’s Lifeclass