‘Just Jump’

While studying with Caroline Myss several years ago, there was a phrase that came out of our ‘classroom’ conversation: ‘Just Jump.’ The premise being there is no ‘good time’ to honor the voice of your spirit, to build a soul with stamina and follow your guidance. NOW is when you are most ready–if you choose to animate the Divine presence of who you are. For me, there has always been something very powerful and unavoidable in the understanding of what my guidance is–and making a choice whether or not to follow it. Once that language is felt, recognized, taken in and fully realized, to not honor my own inner voice mingled with that of the sacred feels to carry significant impact in my life. And really–there is only once choice in that space. 

This is coming to reality in so many more ways ‘around’ the various relationships and experiences in my day-to-day interactions. There is an expansion of the sphere in which I am being asked to step up and ‘just jump.’ Not coincidentally, this falls in line with the commitment I’ve made for 2012 to step more and more into my ‘no comfort zone’ and open myself to let go of what isn’t needed. And on a side note, this seems to go along with a yearning to keep ‘cleaning out’ our home, too. 

Yesterday’s jump allowed me to see the full extent of what we do to ourselves in the midst of receiving and sometimes filtering our guidance. After being at the vet’s office for an hour with one of our rescue cats, I just didn’t feel comfortable going ahead with the run of blood tests and potential treatment they were prescribing for what I was seeing. I couldn’t get to a peace about it. Generally, I would recognize I was a little hesitant, listen to what they said, step into the ‘oh no’s’ and ‘what if’s’ that we often hear when it comes to medical health–and then just go ahead and do it. In this case especially it would have seemingly been much ‘easier’ to just let them run the tests. Our vet had been at a conference over the weekend and specifically attended classes to learn about this because of our situation. They weren’t charging me an office visit fee. Although $238 is a lot, we could make it work if it was something we really needed. And perhaps the loudest (although in a very smooth and subtle way) reason to ‘just do it:’ how on earth would it look for me to say no after all that? Don’t I care about my cat? Aren’t I concerned what could happen if we ‘miss’ something–if we don’t treat him? What about all the time they’d set aside for me, the vet, the assistant explaining everything over the course of the hour I was there? And then I would just walk out and do nothing? How does THAT look? What kind of pet owner am I anyway?

Ah, the brilliant voice of our mind…feeling my inner chaos and stepping in to help me feel better. I remember this voice now from my teenage years even: ‘just do it and then worry about the rest later.’ But I couldn’t. I felt tearful, letting the struggle within myself become overwhelming as I tried to sort it through with a vet tech who really couldn’t comprehend what I was feeling and working out internally, although bless her heart for trying. She left the room to allow me some time to get clarity, to decide what to do. That was when my spirit’s voice came through loud and clear: when you are unsure what to do, walk away. Don’t do anything. If the choice isn’t clear, let it rest and come back to it when YOU are clear. 

I picked up the cat carrier, opened the door and walked to the front desk. While I fully believed in my choice and felt strong in what I was doing, that tiniest little sliver of ‘you look like a fool’ still tried to make its presence felt. We were going to do nothing. Not today. It didn’t feel right, and I wasn’t willing to compromise what I was feeling so clearly within myself. I don’t know how they felt about it, and truthfully, very little of me cares. Even with regard to the cost, although that wasn’t the deciding factor, I heard a new language whispering to me: Is this really a good use of our money? Money is energy after all–and to just spend it because we can make it work without the strength of my belief behind it is irresponsible use of the energy and abundance that flows into my life. 

I *know in my being our boy is ok. He doesn’t have any of those medical conditions the blood tests would have revealed. I just had to give myself the opportunity to hear that clearly, away from the chaos and yes, my friends, fear of humiliation. THAT is what I’ve been talking about. I love my cats unconditionally, enough to trust what I feel about their well-being over what someone who is ‘qualified’ might recommend and believe. But fear would have played the greater role in the past. Yesterday, I walked out of that office with strength in my spirit, increased stamina in my soul. 

It was interesting to note, that when I got in the car I could feel the energy overload of the whole situation. I called a close friend and soul companion just to talk it through–in truth, just to allow myself to say out loud and validate the process and choice. A headache had begun to throb, my body felt a little jittery…until the words began to flow and the peace of being ME, honoring my guidance settled in. 

Uncomfortable, yes. Humiliating–actually, no. I chopped away at some of those old beliefs when I wrote honestly earlier this week, and then the Universe graciously gave me a situation in which to practice my deeper truth: following guidance does not equal humiliation. I’m humbled and grateful. 

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Digging Deep

So much of our growth is about ‘digging deep.’ And the beautiful reality of this truth is that there is so very much inside of ourselves from which to draw courage, strength, hope, inspiration–stamina. And when the opportunity to do so comes along, it’s very rare that we see it coming or have time to ‘prepare’ ourselves for its arrival.

One of the greatest Universal Truths is this: ‘we always have everything we need.’ Even when we may not recognize it to be so, the Universe always provides to us what is necessary for our survival and growth. When we shift our view from the illusory level of this world into the Divine space of our souls, we begin to feel the beauty of this contract we have with the Universe. We are always held in the arms of love, embraced with the sweetness of grace.

This week I took Snuggles, one of our rescue cats to the vet to get his breathing checked. As it turns out, he’ll need medication for perhaps the rest of his life, which in itself is not of concern. However, when Snuggles came to our home two years ago, he was terrified of humans and ran from the room whenever we entered. With much love and tender coaxing, he’s come to realize how much he loves to interact with us and he does allow us to pet him and love on him just a bit. Learning that I would have to take it a step further and find a way to ‘catch’ him and coax him even further into allowing me to hold him still and give him medicine on a regular basis, I could feel my own anxiety arise.

I share this with you friends, because after three days of working with Snuggles to get his needed medication into him, I’ve realized something so very true for us all. WE ALWAYS HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED. Snuggles doesn’t like being ‘cornered’ or ‘captured’ and held. But when I am confident in my ability to lovingly hold him with courage and belief in what we’re accomplishing, the process goes much more smoothly. After a day or two of anxiety over the whole ordeal, I began to just ‘do it.’ And we are making great progress.

We can often not imagine being capable of what the Universe asks of us. Instead we see the obstacles standing between us and the task. How quickly we forget who we are and the gifts with which we’ve been created. Never, never, will we be guided to do something impossible to accomplish. Always we are held in the arms of the Divine, always we are given EXACTLY what we need at any given time, in any given circumstance. Always WE ARE DIVINE, and so carry the sacred energy of being. This is what’s true friends.

Whatever it is in your life that stirs anxiety in your heart when you even begin to consider it–take a moment and really let that thought enter your being. Ask yourself what it is you fear, and what you would need to work through that fear. Listen to the answers. Hear the guidance. Honor your gifts. You have everything you need. You are a Divine being, given the most extraordinary ability of living in this world while connected to a deeper level of presence in your soul. You always have everything you need, and you have only to dig deep to feel those resource–for they are already yours.

We each carry our own beauty and power, we are all reflections of the Divine and each of us is surrounded in grace. We have only to allow these gifts to enter our awareness, to embrace who we are and walk forward in faith. These are the building blocks to engineering a soul with stamina friends. You begin one step, one block at a time–all within your reach….as you listen…to the whispers of your heart……