SHE is Not Contained

We keep wanting ‘it’ to be ‘something.’ We go in search of ‘it’ hoping ‘it’ will reveal itself to us. Our minds tell us ‘it’ will be tangible, touchable, definable. And yet, when we go into the space of our hearts all those words and the need for definitions fall away.

Love. Purpose. Calling. Longing. 

What’s the ‘it’ they are leading us to?

Here’s the truth, my loves, there is no ‘it.’

Yes. Take a moment and let that sink in.

Divine Feminine breathing

There is no treasure at the end of the rainbow awaiting our arrival. There is no moment in the middle of a conference where we suddenly feel light shine down upon us and we know what we are here to do.

SHE is not that contained. She is a feeling of elation when our child does something amazing. She is the deep desire we feel for our Lover as our eyes meet. She is the softness of words whispered in comfort to another. She is the rise and fall of our breasts as we take in a vision of something beautiful, stirring our senses into madness for Her.

We long to be stretched bare, to be laid wide open, uncertain of who or where we are, to HAVE to call HER in to our most intimate space where SHE will breathe her Love all over, into and through us.

We find ourselves on this endless search for Her, expecting Her to be standing at the end of the path we’re on, smiling at us with a book full of answers. And yet, She has been here with us all along. Very much like the poem Footprints, She is there when our tears fall, when our hearts sing, when our bodies love and our spirits soar. She is in each moment, if we but pause long enough to breathe Her in. 

 

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An Unexpected Call

It was an odd day yesterday. As I shared with my intimate circle of women, there was a restless energy creeping up all around me, actually from inside. My resident ‘screaming woman’ began to make her presence known, signaling something was for sure out of balance from the depths of my being.

My dear, beloved soul friend Joss suggested a bit of music and a practice of moving my body–DANCE. The resistance was immediate, my inner Wild Woman beckoned me, but that old familiar quicksand holding me in place. I’m blessed to have had a beautiful space in which to voice all that I was feeling, to process it, to allow it and to move through it. She had her way with me, this Wild Woman Divine Feminine, and together we lit candles and prepared to dance.

This type of being with myself hasn’t been part of my life in quite this way, so as you might imagine, felt a bit uncomfortable in places. The music, my mind began to focus on finding the right music. Something sensual that inspired a release and letting go, that allowed my body to take over and my thinking self to sink into the background. Ray Lamontagne–my sister loves his style, ‘soulful’ she calls it–ok for a moment, but no, the energy just wasn’t moving, my thoughts remained at the forefront. I tried several other options that seemed as though they should have done the ‘trick’–whirling dervish music, my favorite Jimmy Buffet and a couple other styles. Nothing. Frustration began to set in, and of course that intellect was pleased with the outcome. ‘Told you so.’

dancePausing, I stopped to check in with what I’ve always loved. What used to inspire me to get up and move? What were the songs I would love to sing out loud and just had to feel the rhythm of their energy? Madonna. Always a love of mine. It seemed silly, but ok, I gave it a try. The Madonnna-ish radio station on my tablet began with a Gloria Estafan song and my body knew just what to do. She moved in ways I didn’t expect–not a sultry, sensual unleashing, but a Wild Woman-feel-every-beat-and-just-let-go response. I was quite taken aback and just let myself go with it, tensions melting away.

The AHA! moment that came was this: it wasn’t about allowing my body–giving her permission–to be sexy. It was about dissolving restrictions to just simply moving to the rhythm because of her fear she might be perceived as ‘too sexy,’ too much of all those ugly words we’ve heard said about a beautiful, alluring woman. It wasn’t about whether I was that or not, but about transcending those old patterns and just FEELING into it. It was quite welcomed to just move, to just be, to allow and to not have a care of how it looked or might be perceived.

For too long we’ve held these fears tight to our heartspace, suffocating our spirits, clogging up the intuitive channels of our body’s language and wisdom. It was such a beautiful experience, very different from what I would have ‘written’ for myself. Some of my learned yoga poses (there is much to this occurring, too much to share here) even came into play and felt magnificently empowering in every cell.

This is the spirit, the energy, the call of the Wild Woman. To be and honor who we are. We’ve restricted ourselves and then written a story about who we are that we can’t possibly live up to, mostly because it’s not our authentic truth. My commitment to 2014 is to release the untruths about myself–from within–and to integrate the authentic pieces of who I am even more.

I’d love to hear your Wild Woman stories – whether you are male or female, because this goes beyond gender specifications. Whether from your own experience or something you’ve witnessed. And I’d love for you to consider how you might honor the Wild Spirit you carry within the entirety of your being. She presents differently on each one of us, and yet at the core, She is the very same Presence we are each tuning in to.

I’m reminded of my own commitment to Dance Out of Control….

“living eulogy.
she danced.
she sang. she took.
she gave.
she loved.
she created.
she dissented. she enlivened.
she saw. she grew. she sweated.
she changed.
she learned. she laughed.
she shed her skin.
she bled on the pages of her days,
she walked through walls,
she lived with intention.”
― Mary Anne Radmacher

Dancing the Spiral

So far we’ve come as a human race, and yet so far we have still to go. Fear continues to grip us, both in places we ARE aware of and those remaining to be discovered. It seems as much as we do release, we travel onward in the journey of our souls to realize there is more to let go.

As you process this, rather than receive it as discouragement and lack of forward motion, consider that you are a perennial work in progress. Always there is another step to be taken to move closer to embracing fully our Divinity. The music plays on and the dance that at first felt to be a challenge and required focused energy, attention and effort, now becomes a joy in motion. Even when settling into the elegant and graceful glide across the floor, one can still connect even more deeply to the rhythm and Flow inspiring the body, heart and soul to continually move, to dance the dance.

Open yourself to its fluidity, letting it completely enfold you as you become lost in the sacredness of this space. So much more is here for you than the mind can even begin to imagine–for this space lives beyond the thinking self. Let yourself go, breaking away from the gravity of space and time and instead surrendering into the emptiness of BE-ing and the openness and warmth of Divine presence.

The video below played in my ears as I shared this message with each of you, and I encourage you to take just a few moments out of your day to listen and allow it to inspire you, to move your heart, to melt your fears, and to guide you into the depths of your soul’s beautiful light, pure truth and radiant glow. Connect to the Source that IS you, and flows from within YOU. Much love.