Pierced by Love

My first vision of pure, holy love was witnessing mystic Andrew Harvey as he passionately spoke of the Sacred Feminine. I believe that was my introduction to ‘HER’ as well. My whole body felt his fire, the Sacred Heart energy so very new to me – and yet, not. Feeling the passion and ardent love Andrew has for Her awakened something very potent inside my being. That was nearly 10 years ago. Since that time, I’ve carried the sensation and vision of the Sacred Heart in my being, knowing that mystical, burning fire smolders and flames within me, too.

There’s a very distinct difference between what we have for so long *known and are now truly sinking into and FEELING on a whole new level. I wrote about an emptiness over two weeks ago. The energy has amped up since that time, with the last two weeks feeling like a continual state of what I was perceiving as sadness. Last night, a deeper awareness crept into my being, and I understood this is not sadness, but a Sacred Tenderness. A piercing of my heart over and over again.

Bernini's St. Teresa in Ecstasy
Bernini’s St. Teresa in Ecstasy

Perhaps St. Teresa of Avila describes it best with her words in St. Teresa of Avila: The Book of My Life:

I saw an angel in bodily form standing very close to me on my left side…

The angel was not large; he was quite small and very beautiful. His face was so lit up by flame that I thought he must belong to the highest order of angels, who are made entirely of fire. He didn’t tell me his name…

I saw that he held a great golden spear. The end of the iron tip seemed to be on fire. Then the angel plunged the flaming spear through my heart again and again until it penetrated my innermost core. 

When he withdrew it, I felt like he was carrying the deepest part of me away with him. He left me utterly consumed with the love of God. The pain was so intense that it made me moan. The sweetness this anguish carries with it is so bountiful that I could never wish for it to cease. The soul will not be content with anything less than God. 

I’ve known of this, heard of this, read of this. I’m now experiencing this. Tears that come even when there isn’t a circumstance in life to prompt them. Love that expands so huge in my heart I am broken with its sensation. Several of the women in my circles – and a few men, too – are sharing awareness of an expansion that is occurring in present time. Each feels it differently. Some are increasing their psychic abilities, others are sinking deeper into their gift of loving unconditionally. For me, it’s the fire of passion that stirs deep within. The sensation of falling in love – deep, passionate love – over and over again. My greatest gift for myself and others is more and more becoming speaking my heart, openly, without apology and without fear of how I may be perceived. Sacred Love. The Sacred Heart. Tenderness that runs so deep, it’s as Teresa felt it to be – a piercing over and over again that penetrates to the very core.

I’m curious how you may be experiencing this opening in your own energy and frequency. Would love to hear your stories here or over on Facebook – Kissing the Sacred.

Advertisements

Passion Underlying Envy

For many years, jealousy and I were best friends. My older sister is radiantly beautiful, as is my younger sister. (As am I, but we’ll come back to that later.) I was painfully jealous of my older sister Lisa, of her ability to socialize with such finesse, of how much all the guys always wanted her, of her quick witted strength and ability to respond without hesitation, of her confidence in who she is. The energy had such a hold on me, I continually tried to ‘get over it’ and even wrote my high school graduation speech on contentment, centering on this childhood jealousy and desperately hoping something would change after this. It did – but only for a short while. Because in reality – we cannot FORCE our way through emotions that run deep in our cells. We must FEEL them fully, sink deep into the space of marinating in the energy so that the drops of love, of wisdom, of truth can find their way to our lips.

Following up on The Beautiful Truth About the Green Eyed Monster, I see even more clearly today into the layers of our envious nature. Because this has been so present for me, I have NEEDED to understand envy at its depths, to transform how it plays into my heart, my soul and to turn off its power over my thoughts. As I began to feel into ENVY today, this is what I felt/experienced:

soul reflectionWhen we are feeling envious of another, we become empty inside. Not the kind of empty that awaits the Beloved filling us with Love, but the kind of empty that depletes our authentic power. We are in essence, trampling who we ARE. Because envy is derived from placing our eyes, our heart on another person, on their gifts, their beauty, wisdom, grace, wealth, love, health – you name it. We are no longer able to SEE ourselves because all we see is THEM. We effectively tell ourselves we are small, others are big and what we feel, carry, witness, know as our truth no longer holds our gaze.

Now, in a moment of fiery envy, of feeling so empty, small, ‘nothing’ – take a moment and breathe. Turn your gaze back to the beauty staring back at you from the mirror. Breathe HER in. See HER. Close your eyes and feel for your inner power. Let your passion begin whispering to you, touching you, arousing you. Let your interior grace pour itself over you, heating every inch of flesh. FEEL WHO YOU ARE.

This, my loves, this is the beckoning that lies beneath your envy. As long as my eyes were on my sister, Lisa would always be a beautiful Goddess and I would be dark and invisible. She remains a beautiful Goddess, as does my younger sister Lydia. In present time, I not only know, but can FEEL the GODDESS I AM. And what matters most to me, what fills me up so completely is allowing myself to own that truth rather than passing it off to someone else to hold for me. I AM A BEAUTIFUL GODDESS, filled with a richness, with a fiery passion that ignites even the blackest of nights. I know who I am. And that is the breath envy needed to be released.