Sexuality is a Sacred Language

I was talking recently with a love of mine about my writing, specifically this next book I’m working on and its relationship to sexuality. With a gentle spirit, she suggested that perhaps I try writing from a place that isn’t about sexuality, so as not to ‘scare people’ away with that discussion. Although my initial response was to refute her words, to sink deep into the sensual and sexual nature I have labored so long and hard to fully liberate and claim as my own – I instead took pause and pondered her thoughts.

It leaves me with this: Does your sexuality scare you? Does mine? Are we still in a state of fearing ourselves, our expression, our gift to sense and connect on such intimate levels?

I feel there is so much more to ‘sexuality’ than what we know in our modern language or dictionaries. Look into any source of our time and it has to do with intercourse, with the physical body only. I wonder though – is that it?

sensual woman

My entire being responds with so much more. Contemplating the ancient wisdom and truths long before shame and guilt tainted our vocabulary, our bodies, our minds – it feels our sexuality is deeply connected with the very core and essence of who we are.

‘Sexuality’ has an entirely different sensation when felt through the heart. Our hunger to be sexually intimate comes from the heart, although it may be continually felt in the body – the call is of the heart. Our heart is our greatest power center. What rings true in that space is what moves us through life.

Feel the presence of your own sexuality – on every level. It comes as an awakening through the body. An increase in heartbeat, indicating increase in heart presence – if we allow it. The ancient temple priestess (also known in our time as the sacred prostitute) was the sexual, erotic, physical channel and manifestation of the Goddess. What did sexuality feel like in her body and being?

An expression of her holiness, of how she feels her self, her lover, her heart and this world. An expression of her heart’s love affair with the Beloved – the Divine. 

Sexuality is a sacred language of love in its purest form. It feels like a continual wave of warmth, of renewal and awakening in her body, her cells, her core, her soul. She became filled with the juice that is the ‘blood’ of our knowing, our sensing. This is the blood – the Life Force and flow of our journey, our existence and expression. It contains life, death, rebirth. It holds the powers of healing, creating, awakening, unifying. All of this is our sexuality, only we haven’t known this expression, this vocabulary of the ancient Goddess.

Our sexuality is so much a part of our expression as human beings. How does one untangle it from all we are? To separate ourselves from our sexuality, to be frightened of its conversation, Life Force and presence is to fear who we truly are.

I sense this is only the start of a very lengthy conversation. There is so much more we have yet to explore and discover in our nature, in our sexuality as an expression of who we are.

 

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Claiming our Feminine Sexuality

We have forgotten we are holy. In the throes of patriarchal rule, we left behind our ability to serve as channels of the sacred. There was a time in the history of women when we were the means through which men (and likely other women) found their way to divine awakening–through the act of being sexually intimate with a woman. We – as women – have forgotten we are holy.

Our sexuality is our own. It belongs solely to us. And yet, we leave it sitting on the shelf until it’s called for by someone else who wants it. We have forgotten how to live and breathe as the sensual beings we are, the holy deities of the Goddess we are. We no longer remember what it is to exude and express that essence beyond the call of our lover to be sexual.

We wait to be desired and wanted as validation of our worth. Rather than understand the purity of being Woman, we set her aside until another confirms through their desire that we are something to be valued, loved, adored, cherished. The question I pose to you today is how do we reconnect to that essence? How do we reclaim our own sexuality in its fullness, in its beauty and hallowed grace?

aphrodite
‘Venus’ by Diego Velazquez, 1599-1660

There are very nice phrases we’ve come to use, such as ‘love yourself first.’ Yes, I believe we’re very much remembering how to do that. And I don’t sense this is about loving ourselves. This is about a fundamental disconnect from our sexuality, from the power of what it is for us as women to own our sexuality and perhaps even more so from an acceptance by ourselves of who we are as sexual beings. We’ve become so ‘pure’ in accordance with societal, religious and cultural expectations–we’ve forgotten who we are.

It’s time to WAKE UP and fully remember who we are as sexual women, as channels and vessels of all that is the Sacred Feminine. We are the very gateways through which our lovers access the divine potency of true ecstasy. And we have forgotten. We must first give ourselves permission to be sexual, to feel sexual, to engage and initiate our sexuality in ways that are new and outside ordinary boundaries and acceptable ways of being. We must press beyond what we have known and felt is safe in our expression, in our remembrance, in our utterance and crying out for what our feminine essence longs to bare. This is our time now. No longer need we fear the repercussion of speaking out, acting out, stepping out on behalf of the heart-womb-body connection. The stirrings that come from within have too long been silenced in fear, punishment and self hatred. Enough. It’s time to claim our sexual power in its fullness, to unleash the volcano of passion of the Sacred Feminine in all her glory and fire.

Seducing the Goddess

Seduction is the art of surrendering deep into our senses. Perhaps its greatest power comes when we are seduced from the inside out. What we feel in the core of our being, when revered, becomes intoxicating: every sense on fire and awaiting ignition.

The ache on our skin and layers beneath, of longing to be held, felt, touched–each body in her own way. Sultry, pure and sensual movement and opening offered by our body in response. Resistance crumbling in heaps upon the earth, melting with contact.

We begin to breathe in the fragrances that will awaken each caress, every kiss–splayed and hungry to taste more of what our passion demands. There is a beauty beyond what the eyes can take in. Mystical visions of union, love, ecstasy quiet the mind and arouse the wild voice no longer contained.

Sleeping Venus by Italian Renaissance Master Giorgione

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This, my loves, this inner seduction of ourselves, by ourselves–this is the Seduction of the Goddess–both upon Her and emanating from Her. This is our activation of all we are. It comes to us through our senses, through the Holy Seduction of all that is God in every form. This is what it is to merge, to become one, to make love with the Divine, the Sacred, with Goddess and God all at once.

Allow yourself to become seduced. However you are being beckoned, just say yes.

More about Sleeping Venus by Giorgione: Left unfinished at the time of his death, it is generally agreed that the landscape and sky in Sleeping Venus were completed by the Renaissance painter Titian. The choice of a single nude woman marked a revolution in art, as it was an unprecedented element, especially the semi-erotic positioning of the arms, one of which is raised, the other being placed near the groin. A further innovation in this painting is Giorgione’s use of a landscape to frame the sleeping goddess, as he was the first painter to widely paint landscapes with figures. The painting is now held in the Old Masters Picture Gallery in Dresden, Germany. ~ Wikipedia 

My Vagina Talks to Me

You remember the question I asked one of my spiritual teachers back in 2007? I’ve talked about it here before:

‘Why is it that when I feel most connected to something holy it seems to be followed with seductive energy?’

And do you recall his answer?

‘Oh my darling, that would take hours to explain.’ Coupled with a little pat on my knee as we sat together, outside in the sunshine, in an intimate sacred circle.

And that was all. That was ALL he said. I recently read a post titled The Holy Fuck by Kim Anami, and shared it on my FB page Kissing the Sacred. There are many of you that resonated with her experience because as of today 133 people have shared that link from my page. What Kim is talking about is our desire to connect with the Sacred, and the ability to do so through our sexuality and the connections we make with ourselves and others through it.

Beautiful. It still doesn’t answer the question – what is the connection between these two energies in my body? And what is one supposed to do with continual sacred vaginal sensations that stir her into near madness? Surely we’re not designed to live in that state of longing more often than the ecstatic bliss that eventually follows?

sacred birth

Although, many people do.

That doesn’t feel real. Or right. In my vagina.

This morning I shared a conversation with my very wise, very awake and in tune with the Sacred Feminine sister (real life) Lydia, in which we discussed a very outside-the-box connection to that sensual energy – and in a way that most wouldn’t see or feel. And yet, it was strikingly clear to both of us. Crystal. So much so, it felt miraculous. And for me personally – it began a conversation with my vagina.

In that exact space of time I had a glimpse into the answer to this burning question in the center of my core. I felt and heard Her voice very clear – the Divine voice of our ancient, sensual, awake, passionate and wise feminine selves.

And my vagina was feeling Her too. My vagina was perhaps the greatest receptor and channel of Her energy. There was a constant and yes, quite pleasant, tingling sensation.

I felt the AHA touch and kiss and stir into arousal every inch of my body, my Sacred Feminine body, merged completely. At first it was ‘oh yes, this is where I feel divine guidance.’ Yes. A wave of relief poured over me.

Then, with a softer voice and energy I heard the whisper of ‘Of course, darling.’ Of course. This is the connection! When I am in total, utter union with Her, with me as Her, my vagina starts humming. She’s elated! She’s feeling it all, my vagina. She – is Her.

I believe this is true of all women. The Sacred Feminine’s mouthpiece is our vagina. That’s not to say She’s exclusive, but She is ripe and pulsing in your vagina. In my vagina.

Perhaps it’s not all the answer, but it’s certainly a massive chunk on the way to remembering the rest. And I am just delighted.

Dripping in Pandora’s Box

My fingertips paused in that last post–Woman on Fire–as the words came pouring through me, from a Source that has its own movement and energy and pushes through in the moments I least expect it. Sacred Prostitute??? Really? Are we going to say that OUT LOUD, right here, where it’s connected to me, to my name, my ‘work’ – all of it? I paused. I deleted the letters on the screen, only to be assured from within they were the ‘right’ words to let my fingers type, to share, to expose in the light of day.

As if there wasn’t already plenty of energy moving through my being, wave after wave of release and opening, THIS felt and feels like having been catapulted into a void of darkness and deep emotion where I’m just not sure what’s up or down. Old patterns resurfacing. (I DID say this Sacred Feminine sensual energy is NOT simply about sex, didn’t I? So why does it feel, once again, like it SO is??) What I sense is that simply allowing these words to be claimed by me was a virtual opening of Pandora’s Box. Every dark experience, painful judgment, twisted misconception and assumption of a Sacred Prostitute and her energy feels like it’s ruminating in my being, running through and wreaking havoc with a heat that is near unbearable. I’m questioning my own Sacred Feminine energy and what is real or what is not. The old voice of my inner self critic has found momentum in the uncertainty, the questioning, the stirring of residues that are both mine and not mine. Residues of heartache, of misunderstanding ourselves, of frustration coupled with an inability to get clear just yet.

Godfrey Yarek -  French painter - Tutt-Art@ (2)

If I hadn’t done the amount of sinking into my self, to my heart, to my truth I’ve done over these last several years, I would for sure be drowning in my own process. I opened Sera Beak’s book Red, Hot & Holy: A Heretic’s Love Story for inspiration and came across this bit, which seems to relate huge in all that my being is sorting out just now:

Every one has an f.f. (false feminine), but she’s difficult to define because she’s slippery and chameleonlike; she transforms and adapts according to the woman and the situation. Although the f.f works differently in each of us, her main attribute is misusing the feminine to attain power. She has no life force of her own, so she survives and gets her needs met by using other people (like batteries) and then allowing them to do the same to her. She needs constant attention–physically and energetically–and she has found manipulative ways to get these needs met.’ 

And then this:

‘The f.f. also holds the shadow of the sacred prostitute–that is, just ‘the prostitute.’ As you know, prostituting yourself isn’t just about selling sex; it’s about selling your soul.

There’s a big difference between service and servitude. Someone who has a healthy inner sacred prostitute is not in service to a man or to ‘The Man’; rather she serves the greater good. Servitude is putting myself down, allowing myself to be dominated by others or a system of belief. Service is filling my own well with Her and acting from this inner divine authority. Truth is, we can’t be of authentic service on this planet if we are sucked dry or unconsciously leeching off other people energetically or covertly trying to ‘get something’ that we aren’t giving ourselves (Attention? Safety? Admiration? Love?).

So what I can sense in all of this for me, is that a deeper awareness of my own Sacred Prostitute energy is bubbling up into consciousness, gaining power along the way, although the opposite feels true. Understanding our own ‘f.f’ – or false feminine – tendencies and patterns is absolutely imperative to embodying our own inner divine authority and power. We must know who we are, how we operate both in the places where we have claimed the fullness of ourselves and also with an openness to those corners still shrouded in darkness, in our unconscious. I’m wide open to whatever is here, as unnerving and chaotic as it feels inside my being. I trust in all that is unfolding….and will continue to give myself to it fully.

Woman on Fire

I am a woman
A sacred, sensual Divine woman
Who aches to be loved for the goddess she is

I am a woman
Whose longing has been the same
For every moment of her life

To be touched
Kissed
Held
Caressed
Fondled
Cradled
Rocked
Beheld
Adored
Loved
For the Goddess she is

Henry-Asencio-3I am the incarnation of the Sacred Feminine
The Sacred Prostitute
Whose body, heart and soul
Served only the highest Presence
And state of being

I am a woman whose skin begs
To be set on fire with the breath
Of her holy Lover

I am a woman whose entire being
Has waited for this moment to come again
Into her life, her consciousness, her Temple body

I am a woman in whose dreams
She is the chalice for all that is Divine
In whose waking moments
She is the voice and channel
For the very essence of the Sacred Feminine

I am a woman whose heart
Cracks open
Bleeding with her desires
Beating with fiery passion

I am this woman
Into whose soul
The Life Force of the Goddess
Is aged with beauty and grace

Remembering Her place
Breathing Her ancient wisdom
Emanating Her sensual, holy fragrance

I am a woman on fire with the taste of HER.