Sexuality is a Sacred Language

I was talking recently with a love of mine about my writing, specifically this next book I’m working on and its relationship to sexuality. With a gentle spirit, she suggested that perhaps I try writing from a place that isn’t about sexuality, so as not to ‘scare people’ away with that discussion. Although my initial response was to refute her words, to sink deep into the sensual and sexual nature I have labored so long and hard to fully liberate and claim as my own – I instead took pause and pondered her thoughts.

It leaves me with this: Does your sexuality scare you? Does mine? Are we still in a state of fearing ourselves, our expression, our gift to sense and connect on such intimate levels?

I feel there is so much more to ‘sexuality’ than what we know in our modern language or dictionaries. Look into any source of our time and it has to do with intercourse, with the physical body only. I wonder though – is that it?

sensual woman

My entire being responds with so much more. Contemplating the ancient wisdom and truths long before shame and guilt tainted our vocabulary, our bodies, our minds – it feels our sexuality is deeply connected with the very core and essence of who we are.

‘Sexuality’ has an entirely different sensation when felt through the heart. Our hunger to be sexually intimate comes from the heart, although it may be continually felt in the body – the call is of the heart. Our heart is our greatest power center. What rings true in that space is what moves us through life.

Feel the presence of your own sexuality – on every level. It comes as an awakening through the body. An increase in heartbeat, indicating increase in heart presence – if we allow it. The ancient temple priestess (also known in our time as the sacred prostitute) was the sexual, erotic, physical channel and manifestation of the Goddess. What did sexuality feel like in her body and being?

An expression of her holiness, of how she feels her self, her lover, her heart and this world. An expression of her heart’s love affair with the Beloved – the Divine. 

Sexuality is a sacred language of love in its purest form. It feels like a continual wave of warmth, of renewal and awakening in her body, her cells, her core, her soul. She became filled with the juice that is the ‘blood’ of our knowing, our sensing. This is the blood – the Life Force and flow of our journey, our existence and expression. It contains life, death, rebirth. It holds the powers of healing, creating, awakening, unifying. All of this is our sexuality, only we haven’t known this expression, this vocabulary of the ancient Goddess.

Our sexuality is so much a part of our expression as human beings. How does one untangle it from all we are? To separate ourselves from our sexuality, to be frightened of its conversation, Life Force and presence is to fear who we truly are.

I sense this is only the start of a very lengthy conversation. There is so much more we have yet to explore and discover in our nature, in our sexuality as an expression of who we are.

 

I Fell in Love With My Ovaries Today

We’ve lost the art of loving ourselves through the ages of time and patriarchy. Rather than wholeheartedly embracing and feeling the power, the beauty, the grace, the majesty of our bodies, we began to shut it all down placing our Life Force on hold. We shrank inside ourselves as all ways of the Divine Feminine were silenced in fear and shame.

I’ve been listening to a series entitled Female Sexual Soul Healing offered by Leyolah Antara of Kundalini Dance – and to say it’s transforming would be a huge understatement. The session I listened to today was ‘Ovaries.’

I’m not sure many of us have ever connected with our bodies in this deep way – to feel, sense, love and feel loved by the energetic and physical matter of who we are. It’s not simply about a body part, but all the experiences, energies, exchanges, beliefs, patterns and subsequent reinforcements they carry. When we open into relationship with our body, with our sexual organs specifically, we unlock a power that has for most of us, been hushed and darkened our entire lives.

Sensual Feminine

In a deephearted conversation with one I love last night, I heard myself saying – owning – fervently out loud ‘I MATTER.’ It’s not a statement we’re prone to allowing ourselves to feel in its fullness, nor to dare speak aloud. It carries old vibrations of selfishness and believing we’re better than we really are. Not so in the ovarian palace. In this space of a woman’s body there is a regal worship and honoring of all she is. Her intuitive senses are embraced, cherished and held in the highest regard. Her worth as a woman radiates with crystal clarity. Her presence and grace in this world, her ability to bring love and healing through her very own Life Force breathes a power that is both understood and wholly welcomed and loved here.

This series is changing me, cleansing me of what has been stored in my body, my dna, and the energetic and physical bodies of women for lifetimes. It’s potent, and with each of the 11 sessions moves deeper and deeper into the heart of what it is to embody, to immerse ourselves in the Divine Feminine. I’m only at the halfway point and there is a stirring in my being that is outside anything my mind could begin to conjure up or create. The energy is real, the healing so very gentle with a cosmic expansion of our purest essence and holy presence.

Today I fell in love with my ovaries as though we were meeting for the first time. I saw and felt their love, their beauty, and the pulsing, sacred breath of life they are. I experienced their connection to my heart, my womb (center of the ovarian palace) and my creativity. These sessions are a sinking into who we are as women, not only from the ancient threads of our existence, but through this moment in time where even more of our feminine creativity, love, healing and compassion are present and available to us.

I’ve seen several offerings from Leyolah over these last few years, and even felt a pull to a couple; albeit a pull that never fully drew me in. Upon reading about and feeling into this series, I was immediately compelled to take part. My 21 days will be stretched over time, and sometimes I listen to the sessions out of order – honoring my intuitive senses and the pull of my own body. This – the beauty and art of being a woman, of listening and responding ever so gently and lovingly to the call of our own inner truth – this is the inner alchemy in which I am immersing myself completely.

Love is Seduction

‘More and more people are realizing to love their mate intimately and honestly is their spiritual practice; the two are not separate.’ ~ Aphrodite’s Daughters

I read an article yesterday titled ‘Danger: How to Know If You’re Having an Emotional Affair‘, and although I understand a bit of the intention, parts of it really fired me up. The overall message in the article felt focused on keeping our hearts ‘in check’ and maintaining a marriage the way it ‘should’ be done.

It’s challenging for me to find the ‘shoulds’ in my marriage, in my love for my husband, my lover. For me, the commitment I feel for him and for what we share and create together comes directly FROM my heart. If we place rules and limitations on what the heart is allowed to feel, to express, to honor, how then can we possibly be in an open, honest relationship with ourselves or our partners?

A Mermaid in the Sunset - Love is Seduction by Marco Busoni
A Mermaid in the Sunset – Love is Seduction by Marco Busoni

I’m not advocating for affairs, for blind followings of lust or heartthrob. I’m saying there is a beauty to the raw wildness of our hearts, and if we can trust its whisperings, whatever action we take will ultimately and certainly lead us deeper into a knowing of ourselves and subsequently all those with whom we share intimacy. This is true not only of our lovers and partners in a physical sense, but of those we love on the deepest levels, with whom we can be naked in some way.

To imply that intimacy comes from adhering to a set of rules and how it should be feels in opposition to the very beauty that IS intimacy. Intimacy for me is a purity of self, an allowing of what is rather than a stamping out of what ‘should not’ be. There’s a beautiful unveiling that takes place when we follow the seduction of our hearts. How does one determine, with what measure can anyone possibly say the heart is wrong?

Perhaps there is an attraction, a genuine heart-centered connection occurring. I believe we must first be honest with ourselves regarding what we feel. We must take the temperature of our own beliefs and values, honoring our integrity and intuitive knowing. Walking this way in our world leaves little room for ‘right and wrong’ when it comes to the language of the heart.

My spiritual practice is very much centered around intimacy, as well as the ecstatic movement through what is mine to experience. There is no authority outside of my being that could begin to understand, much less dictate what is right for me personally, or how I ‘should’ engage my marriage, lover, partner. When we dare to cross that line on behalf of another person, to speak THEIR truth as though it were ours to do so, we unravel the integrity of their individual and soul power. What to one may appear and/or feel to be ‘wrong’ may very well be healing and liberating for another.

We must begin to understand the power of the heart, of her voice. We must honor the knowing in another and drop the need to dictate who or what they ‘should’ be. The ‘danger’ is in our fear of what might come, of how we might find beauty in the midst of what this world considers chaos. Our emotions, the calling of our hearts is one of the most potent doorways to the center of all we are. When we shush even the tiniest part of that voice, we create ripples that will hold us still in time. We must give full berth to the love unfolding within, in its purest authentic expression. This, loves, this is our way to intimacy, to holiness and the deepest level of commitment to ourselves, our marriages, our lovers. Love, in her purest, most radiant form – is seduction.

I Make Love to Change the World

The world will be saved by the western woman. ~ Dalai Lama

We’ve all heard this quote by now, haven’t we? We’ve ridden the wagon of feminine empowerment, liberation, freedoms for some time–and made great progress with still more to come. Women are more and more unveiling and embracing the truth of who we are, of the power we carry, of the ways in which our presence and energy impact this world.

I don’t believe it’s as simple as this quote, however. In fact, something inside me has shown up in questioning response since I read it. I couldn’t hear it at first–the work of releasing myself from inner and outer prisons much too loud inside my being. Today, that little ‘ping’ finds crystal clarity.

This world cannot be saved by women alone. We are potent creators, givers of life, lovers of fierce and noble men and women alike. But we are not the saviors of this planet.

couples

What I believe to be offered within this quote and so many others like it, is the unshackling of women. Unshackling ourselves from false truths, from ‘nice’ ways of walking in this world, from victim mentalities, from needing to be like men in order to feel equal. And through the unchaining of ourselves, we in turn become sovereign, claiming fully the power that is ours; ours because it lives inside us. This has been a necessary part of the process, however it is not the ultimate destination.

And our men are in the process of doing the same work; of reclaiming themselves, opening their hearts, allowing vulnerability in how they feel, speak and love. It looks different on the outside, but the interior tearing down and raising up is very much the same.

I want to pause here and say it’s not simply about men and women, heterosexual terms. There are many same sex couples whose masculine and feminine energies ignite and balance much the same way as do those of heterosexual couples. Just as some have many lovers while others choose marriage or monogamy. Drop the rules. Toss out the old language and see beyond the surface.

Women and men alike – masculine and feminine energy each coming together in sacred union, in fiery passion and expansive love for each other – that is what will change this world. It’s the allowance within each one of us that creates the massive alchemy required to open hearts, ignite wombs, heal heartache, empower the generations that follow. It’s a dance of masculine and feminine burning in the fires together in whatever form you wish to take it: your own inner marriage of the two and/or your partnering with the ‘opposing’ energy.

The key is wide open embrace to oneself. The more we steep in the heat of our true expression, our raw emotions, our pure essence, unique personal power and way of walking this world, the deeper we come alive. We bring that life to our work, our creativity, our health, our conversations, to our love and to our partners. There is a holy fire of union shared between us and the masculine/feminine counterparts we choose and are.

Women will change the world. Men will change the world. The masculine is a driving force in blazing new trails, just as the feminine is the passion for doing so. Each burning on its own, expanding to new depths and heights through the mutual love and merging. Making love will change the world. It’s all in how you choose to do it.

Speaking Sexuality Out Loud

Dissolving the shame around our sexuality isn’t exclusive to women – or to men. Nor is it simply about those who are in heterosexual male/female relationships. We’re entering a space where the delicate balance of masculine and feminine are coming together – finding center. There are women who relate more to the masculine way of being, and men whose natural tendencies and desires are in the feminine realm.

We’re expanding the conversation now – and it’s going to get hot. Hot in the ways we desire, yes – increased arousal, fires burning in all the right places; but also hot in the ways that make us uncomfortable, fidgety in our seats, ready to lash out and defend what feels true in ourselves.

There’s been an imbalance in our world through the reign of patriarchy. We’ve all played into it – men and women alike. And for some time now there have been women’s groups and organizations, books, websites, conferences and Red Tent gatherings centered around the empowerment, the healing, the opening and release of the wounds we have carried for generations and lifetimes. So many of us know stories of our aunts, mothers and grandmothers having experienced sexual abuse at the hands of men. And in truth – that certainly still happens.

Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva
Intimate couples by Evelina Pentcheva

We’ve put much energy, heart and time into healing these wounds, empowering ourselves, finding our voices and releasing the demons that plague our past. Women are experiencing liberation, dissolving shame and opening to the intimate, hidden places in our sexual libraries. We love to be sexual. We desire to be wanted, adored. We carry a passion so deep it can ignite inside us in a heartbeat. These are our truths.

It’s time now to give our men the same leeway in expressing their sexual truths. Let us allow them to speak of the sexual intensity present in their own bodies, give them room to unleash the raw desire and lust that lives within their masculine way of walking this earth. Our men, this generation of men along with this generation of women, deserve no less than to be able to speak boldly and openly of their sexual desires. It’s the hiding away, the shaming, the blame and the judgment of what is wrong  and not acceptable that has driven us to acting out our sexuality in secret, in dark places where it has little room to flourish, to burn, to breathe as the truth of what it is.

It may feel uncomfortable in us at times. And ladies, let’s be fair – there are certainly moments our open expression has felt the same to our male counterparts. Let us now come together as equals, processing and releasing the shackles of our history, the wounding, the heartache, the blame. Let us honor each other as who we are in our sexuality, in our hunger and ravenous desire to explore the depths of our bodies, our passion, our fires together. We have certainly come far enough to engage the conversation, to speak boldly and honestly our truths to one another and find in the process an acceptance and even celebration of what is real and true in ourselves and each other.

Claiming our Feminine Sexuality

We have forgotten we are holy. In the throes of patriarchal rule, we left behind our ability to serve as channels of the sacred. There was a time in the history of women when we were the means through which men (and likely other women) found their way to divine awakening–through the act of being sexually intimate with a woman. We – as women – have forgotten we are holy.

Our sexuality is our own. It belongs solely to us. And yet, we leave it sitting on the shelf until it’s called for by someone else who wants it. We have forgotten how to live and breathe as the sensual beings we are, the holy deities of the Goddess we are. We no longer remember what it is to exude and express that essence beyond the call of our lover to be sexual.

We wait to be desired and wanted as validation of our worth. Rather than understand the purity of being Woman, we set her aside until another confirms through their desire that we are something to be valued, loved, adored, cherished. The question I pose to you today is how do we reconnect to that essence? How do we reclaim our own sexuality in its fullness, in its beauty and hallowed grace?

aphrodite
‘Venus’ by Diego Velazquez, 1599-1660

There are very nice phrases we’ve come to use, such as ‘love yourself first.’ Yes, I believe we’re very much remembering how to do that. And I don’t sense this is about loving ourselves. This is about a fundamental disconnect from our sexuality, from the power of what it is for us as women to own our sexuality and perhaps even more so from an acceptance by ourselves of who we are as sexual beings. We’ve become so ‘pure’ in accordance with societal, religious and cultural expectations–we’ve forgotten who we are.

It’s time to WAKE UP and fully remember who we are as sexual women, as channels and vessels of all that is the Sacred Feminine. We are the very gateways through which our lovers access the divine potency of true ecstasy. And we have forgotten. We must first give ourselves permission to be sexual, to feel sexual, to engage and initiate our sexuality in ways that are new and outside ordinary boundaries and acceptable ways of being. We must press beyond what we have known and felt is safe in our expression, in our remembrance, in our utterance and crying out for what our feminine essence longs to bare. This is our time now. No longer need we fear the repercussion of speaking out, acting out, stepping out on behalf of the heart-womb-body connection. The stirrings that come from within have too long been silenced in fear, punishment and self hatred. Enough. It’s time to claim our sexual power in its fullness, to unleash the volcano of passion of the Sacred Feminine in all her glory and fire.

Primal Desire

Penetration. We hunger for it. Our bodies naturally long to merge with another as part of the satisfaction to our longing. Our hearts ever seeking out a way to expand, weaving into the thread of Life in the most beautiful and intimate way. Our souls seeking over and over again the balm that soothes our cavernous aching – to be touched and kissed into a deeper awakening of who we are.

We go through these glorious and sometimes gut-wrenching ebbs and flows of life, through portals of seemingly continual opening and closing, only to find ourselves laid bare, naked and exposed in some new way. It’s the hunger that keeps us alive, the hunger that stokes the fires burning us from the inside out. It’s the full on penetration of the Sacred we long to feel.

Our sense is that we need to feed the body – food, sex, pleasure – and we do. And yet, a much more intense part of our ‘feeding’ is the full presence of ourselves with open hearts and bared souls. We truly become aroused with our own nakedness, our innately raw vulnerability. Ironically, it’s the very thing we have been taught to fear. Primal desire. ‘Painstaking’ hunger.

triple candleI’m here to say it doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be painful or tear us apart from one end of ourselves to another. The key lies in the allowing, in the complete and utter surrender into whatever it is that may be calling us. I’ve written a lot about the number of things that can be, and it feels the deeper I go into my own life ‘work’ the more intimately I am being drawn into the sacredness of our sexuality.

I don’t quite know all of what this is stirring in me. There’s a more direct conversation happening in myself. As much as I feel I’ve been ‘risky’ in my recent posts and sharing, I have a sense that is NOTHING compared to what’s coming in 2015. More and more there are responses to posts on my Facebook page around sexuality as a sacred portal into our wholeness, into our healing and expansion as both Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine – as male and female alike. There IS something in the act of sex – with ourselves, for ourselves, with others and for others – that is more potent than we yet fully realize.

And it’s time to wake up. My friends would know me to say it’s time to ‘wake the fuck up!’ It is. I feel it. Years ago I felt perplexed around the word ‘juicy’ as it related to me. I feel today as though I’m in a crash course on opening into that fully and I’ve barely scraped the surface. So the next bit of advice I’ll give you is this – buckle the fuck up. Because it’s coming and I have zero intention of stopping this flow. I am wide open. I am hungry for all that is wanting to come through me in every possible way and I will continue to say yes again and again and again.

I am certain of this – I am a channel of the Sacred Feminine in all Her purity, in all Her beauty, sensuality, sexuality and grace. I am filled with the juices of Her expansion, Her climax, Her release and expulsion on all of life. And my work here is to allow Her expression and voice, without censor. I say yes. And I am ready for whatever that means. Are you?