Beautiful Synchronicity

I was thinking this morning about relationships and what is unseen.  It’s taken me several years and several “layers” to appreciate a beautiful synchronicity between my husband and me.  Mind you, the appearance of it is not quite so stunning.  It goes something like this:  I’m aggravated because he seems to be preoccupied and isn’t “present” in our interaction, whatever it may be.  My aggravation makes itself known by saying something directed at him like “what’s wrong with you?”  Or a sentence that begins with “you”….”you’re not present, you seem upset, you’re a little tense.”  And I SO want to put it on him.  That he seems a bit “off” and is responsible for my aggravation.

But really – it’s me who’s feeling something.  I’m not feeling loved or I’m feeling distant from him.  I’m the one who has the aggravation and for him it’s like an ambush when I say “you seem upset?”  Rather than share with him what I’m feeling, I feel aggravated, rejected – and put it on him.  It must be that he feels something unpleasant and creates a blip in our screen of love.  Whether he is preoccupied with another area of life may or may not be true.  But if I’m coming to him and immediately projecting my feelings onto him, I will never know the true answer.  And I rob us both of honest and intimate communication.

Jenny McCarthy said of her breakup with Jim Carey that she took out a piece of paper and wrote down all the “negative” things she felt he’d done or not done in their relationship.  She then went down the page and crossed out Jim and wrote “I.”  Whatever she believed he had made her feel was all her own doing.  I love Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote:  “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”  My husband cannot make me feel unloved, unappreciated, unnoticed.  But I sure can.  I’m solely responsible for how I feel and how I see myself.  People and situations may come along that are upsetting, but then it’s up to me what I do with that experience.

And THAT is the beautiful synchronicity.  Just when I need to see myself clearly, appreciate my own value and know within who I am really am, I begin to feel my husband doesn’t.  This is God’s gift to us all.  We are paired in our lives with spouses, children, parents, siblings, co-workers, friends and loved ones with whom we share a contract to help one another grow and heal the places we are broken.

Truly, what I most need in those moments of aggravation is to listen to my own heart whispers.  For when I do, I understand the language of love that prompts me to cuddle up close and let love flow with my husband.  Even when I’m not feeling loved, I can always find within myself the desire to love.  It pulses with life and shines an exquisitely shimmering light.  I have only to pause long enough to listen….to see…..to feel.

This is my wish for you today.  Pause long enough to hear your own heart whispers of love.

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Dove Peppermint Bark

Today has passed by all too quickly….and I am just now finding a quiet moment in which to share.  It’s the love note wrapped around my delicious little bite-sized Dove Peppermint Bark that strikes me.  Although the theme is holiday, the message is pure:

“If old acquaintances be forgot, give them a call and remember.”

To me, this reads:  “If you’ve forgotten to honor and love yourself along the way, take time out to remember who you are.”

No one – and I mean no one – has the power to make you feel so loved, so revered and dignified as you do.  The affections, kind words and actions of others can certainly brighten our day.  But isn’t it true, when the day is over, and in fact when the day begins again – that it is YOU who stares back from the mirror.  What we most desire to see in that visage is one who admires the person we have become.  If we but take a moment….perhaps clear the fog from the glass….and really look into the eyes of our beholder…..we can remember.  Remember the essence of our soul, Divinely created, here on this journey to become whole, to learn the lessons life offers us.  See into the core of our being, understanding, open to the goodness that is ours.  When we do, in that very second we find within the integrity and honor in being ourselves.  There is no other love that offers us such beautiful, pure, heartfelt acceptance.

Don’t forget who you are.  Remember to find time to see yourself with clear vision.  And while you are looking….listen too, to the whispers of your heart.

Cheryl Richardson~Happy New Year

I love this post from Cheryl Richardson’s Facebook today:

Happy New Year!

Today is a day of wonderful new beginnings – 1/1/11 – a perfect time to think about ONE small daily habit you could put in place to support you in listening to and honoring what your soul most needs at this time in your life.

I’ve started a new dream journal and have decided to spend this year keeping track of my dreams in order to hear the voice of my soul more clearly. How about you? In celebration of 1/1/11, choose one, manageable thing you could do almost every day to say to your sweet Self “I’m here! I’m paying attention! I care about you! Your needs matter!”