A Decluttered Soul

As I listened today to Shelly Wilson and Sera Beak sharing a discussion, there was a very pronounced heart whisper–or perhaps more than a whisper–that came through loud and clear:

DECLUTTER

Yes, we all (mostly) know about the energetic benefits of decluttering our homes, cleaning out closets, drawers and other such spaces on a regular occasion. This is good for our physical and mental well-being, but also signifies making room for something new to come into your life and not holding onto ‘stuff’ no longer needed. Okay, I get that and it seems like it’s a bit of old news by now. We all understand.

This was different though. Sera was talking about making room for the soul to talk to us.

Declutter the Soul

Personally, I’m realizing–or remembering–some pretty significant things about myself, that are very true to my soul, to who I am and what I bring into and receive from this lifetime. As the path continues and I take each step, there are pieces that seem to be naturally ‘shedding’ and just falling away. It’s not even painful – it just IS. And as it’s happening, it’s so obvious there’s no chance of second guessing.

A Decluttered Soul

Thanks to Pinterest's Rebecca Minkoff for her gorgeous note.
Thanks to Pinterest’s Rebecca Minkoff for her gorgeous note.

That’s what I want.

I want to create space for my soul to breathe, to flush and flourish.

I want to give her elation in every ecstatic moment and quiet reverence for every tear shed.

I want to spread before her a gorgeous buffet of passions as she soothes her fiery appetite.

I want to dislodge antiquated beliefs in favor of her residence within the walls of my own glistening castle.

I want to lie beside her as together we make love with the Sacred.

These are the whispers of my heart…..

A Decluttered Soul.

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God Imagined It

I began to write a ‘Happy New Year’ post on Facebook, and it formed into a letter as the words poured out. And so I find myself here, with so much I wish to say. The irony of this moment is that I was here just this morning, ‘Add New Post’ screen open and ready for all I held inside to fill the page. But nothing happened…

It’s the quote Oprah has shared several times that got me:

God has so much more for you than you could ever imagine for yourself.

My fingers were dancing across the keyboard, thoughts and images coming in waves. What am I thankful for? What changed? How am I different now from January 2012?

Lauren and Cliff – TWO of our beloved children are now off to college. Lauren recently said this is no longer her home, it’s now her parents’ house. She’s found so much of herself this year, a mirror of her own mother who’s been doing the same. She at 19, as I melted into being 40. Clifford becoming a young man as he steps off into his much desired independence. That’s been his gift to me, his quiet spirit guidance – ‘Mom, let it be.’ Jordan, who wasn’t so sure she would like being an only child for the first time in her life–this beautiful young lady (I want to say ‘girl’) unaware just yet of her impact on this world. I realize sometimes I don’t allow myself to sink into what it is to love, to know and to be mother to these three children of ours. It makes me weepy to sit in it for a moment. They’re amazing, these human beings.

Soul Journey

I feel my inner critic reminding me how sappy this must be. But this is my blog, my space, my heart. This is her voice, here. Now. I couldn’t have imagined this life I have. I wouldn’t have thought to expect or ask for all that 2012 brought my way. It’s been an incredible journey deeper into our lives, into my self, my spirit, the interior of my soul. What I felt on January 2–Breaking Down the Box–became the theme of much of my year. Let go, release, liberate, allow. As Summer faded away and Autumn made her presence, the shift had occurred and was finding her way to the surface. With our family in transition and at ‘rest,’ I felt the call. It wasn’t what you might expect. There wasn’t any bolt of lightning. Steadily I’d felt it growing these last six months. And I couldn’t have imagine it this would be how 2012 ended.

Our children are nearly grown. Our marriage has strengthened – again in that quiet, subtle way – and our love has deepened. My heart is more open, although I would have thought it hard to believe that was possible. And not only my heart, my energy, my whole SELF. There’s a peacefulness I didn’t have a year ago. I’m content. (A little laugh here, remembering that ‘Contentment’ was the topic of my graduation speech, although I struggled to find any at 18.) I’ve created a business of my own, having desired and written about this in my journal for a couple of years. And this business is one that I love, that is of service to so many and creates a space of grace and collaboration–very fulfilling. We live in a new time, my friends. We’re alive at such an incredible time of our history. I am loving life and all She has brought to me in 2012. Every moment of heartache, every tear, kiss, smile and fit of laughter–I wouldn’t change a thing.

I couldn’t have imagined it. Ever. But here’s what I know–God imagined an extraordinary life for Jackie L. Robinson. I’m excited and so open to the moments of 2013–the ‘year of the soul.’ I’m in awe of this energy that has woven its way into my life, and I welcome all it has to offer.

Very deep gratitude to each one of you who is reading this, who’ve been here reading my words from the beginning and those who have recently connected. I’d love for you to leave a note so we can reconnect at the start of a new year. May 2013 bring your dreams to life, stir your heart with love, heal your pains. May you experience what it is to be at peace, to merge with the sacred, to feel abundant joy. May you open to all that awaits you. Believe in the most beautiful of who you are and trust there is a Force greater than you holding the rest. May it all be so. Much love to each of you. Happy 2013, my dear friends.

Entering the Castle

I had no idea in 2005 that a course I signed up for called “From Intuition to Mysticism” would transform my life. Not only did I shift entirely in who I was and how I encountered the world, but the course itself changed direction. There would be three weekend classes, and during that first one in March, our teacher Caroline Myss would undergo a total reordering of what she would teach us. St. Teresa of Avila came to be by her side and served as the guide for the remaining course. Rather than teach us about a variety of mystics in history, we instead began to move through the castle of our souls based on Teresa’s book ‘The Interior Castle.’ What resulted from that class is Caroline’s book ‘Entering the Castle.’ I haven’t read it for quite some time, but picking it up this evening, there is so much that calls to me. Although I’ve not been working directly the introspection contained within, I find that all I’ve encountered over the last seven years mirrors much of what speaks to my soul from within each chapter and page. 

We can all pray. We can all move into the space of our interior self, and even more deeply into the castle of our own soul. From within that place, we carry an energy of humility, openness and clarity if we choose to allow its penetration. What called me back into the pages of Entering the Castle is the Entry Prayer that follows–a prayer Caroline shares for us to come to a place of stillness and begin to ‘cross the bridge’ to the castle of our souls. It speaks to me deeply, and I believe there are many of you who will feel its mystical power too. 

‘I cross the bridge into the silent bliss of my Castle. I close the drawbridge and forbid all outside influences from entry into this holy place that is my soul. Here in my Castle, I am alone with God. Under God’s light and companionship I discover the depth and beauty of my soul. I embrace the power of prayer. I open myself to divine guidance. I surrender myself to become a channel of grace, healing, and service as God directs my life.’ 

This is my prayer. Much love. xo 

Quiet Contemplation

Several times I’ve come to this place and begun writing. And each time, the Flow is absent and the words feel forced and pieced together. Can’t say I know yet if this time will be different, only that I will honor whatever comes through.

To take care of a bit of ‘business,’ I’m very happy to share that the kitchen/breakfast area is now PAINTED and BEAUTIFUL! A transformation has taken place in this area of our home, one that has been much needed for some time now. During my time away from blogging and social media, there has been a very acute connection to energy from a variety of perspectives, as well as a deeper realization of just how sensitive we are, and the way in which we honor who we are in the ordering our lives. 

My dear friend Cat recently shared a video of Caroline Myss speaking on being fearless, the power of Grace, our souls, Divine service–one out of a series of 11. As I sat and listened to each one, there was such deep and profound truth that rang clear in my soul. It was a reconnection, a realization and awakening still in process–one that I can feel such longing for. The ache for Divine connection is one that begs to be satisfied, and yet the irony is that there is nothing on this Earth that can rise to the occasion and do so. I don’t have the answers–and I won’t pretend I do. But I do feel a nearly desperate call for something ‘else,’ without any awareness yet of what that is. 

I also heard Suze Orman talking about how we relate to our money. ‘When we don’t want to look at or deal with something in our finances, it’s only representative of what we don’t want to look at or deal with in ourselves.’ I remember learning this to some extent several years ago when reading ‘The Energy of Money.‘ But as I listened to Suze, something inside my being began to shift, to get it, to awaken to this truth in a whole new way. I feel it, I am reminded of it from within myself on a near daily basis. And once again, I don’t have the answers, nor even a clear guidance on what to do with what I feel–and I won’t pretend I do. But I AM listening, alert and at attention. I am observing the hunger as it impacts even how I manage my money….or delay doing so. 

Back to the painting for a moment. As I began with just a few brush strokes–something immediately felt ‘right.’ Remember in that last post–when I DIDN’T paint? Turns out there was something much more universal at work–even more than I was aware of THAT day. I was going to use a lighter shade, so as not to darken the room. I wasn’t in love with the color–and so my love for painting would have been diminished by having to brush on a color that felt empty, boring, without life. Instead, I chose the shade I first loved, but ruled out due to its richness and the concern of it being ‘too much.’ See where I’m going with this, my friends? A mirror–that is actually being realized as I’m typing. This–a new angle I didn’t see before. It’s the same thing I’ve been trying to do to MYSELF–quiet her/me down…work very hard not to be ‘too much.’ Maintain status quo and don’t by any means stand out from the crowd. 

To be honest, I’m exhausted. It’s a bit unnerving, as I’ve done nothing to BE exhausted from–aside from continually exert enough energy to keep Jackie in that damn box. Ugh. I had no idea, truly, this post was going to end up HERE. Perhaps that’s what has kept me from writing…..the internal digestion of my being is hard at work just trying to stay alive in the midst of such treatment. 

As for the No Comfort Zone Challenge–it’s a daily experience for me. And sometimes trying to see and point out just how I’ve done it each week–already exhausting, too. My life is a practice in getting outside my comfort zone, letting truth weave herself into the fibers of who I am. In that series by Caroline Myss, she said something else that sunk deep into my core: You won’t ever heal as long as you are dishonest with yourself. Honesty–especially the kind that we stir about inside ourselves–is sometimes the greatest discomfort there is. And yet, it brings with it such peace, healing, liberation. 

Thank you all for holding space with and for me. I’m a bit behind in reading your posts…..but I do love connecting with the beautiful energies you are, the perspectives and wisdom you share through your own experiences and the honoring of your own and each other’s journey. We all have a story to share. Realizing the sacredness of it begins within ourselves. 

**To those who have honored me with Blogging Awards….I’ve not forgotten and although I have yet to pay forward the loving grace of being so honored in this way, I’m connecting with new sites that are very deserving of such accolades. More to come. xo

Emotion as Wisdom Carrier

We are so afraid of the waters within us that we often tense as soon as we see tears, asking what’s wrong. When perhaps we need to ask those at sea, ‘what do you see?~ The Book of Awakening

Just take a moment–read that message again and feel it seep into your being. We are so programmed to believe tears are a sign of something being wrong, someone needing to be fixed, rescued, comforted. Sometimes we miss the transformation and download of wisdom being received on a soul level. Often when we are in the midst of such rich ability to sense, to feel with every ounce of our being, we are undergoing a very deep release, which in turn brings in the grace of awakening–shifting our very perception of who we are and how we relate to this life.

Interesting this was the first communication with the ‘outside world’ for me today–this bit of truth from The Book of Awakening‘s daily dose of inspiration, received from my sister through text. We share a very open and intimate relationship when it comes to our emotions, so even the fact that it was she who shared this with me is significant.

What she couldn’t have known was the course of my morning. The number of tears that fell unexpectedly from the core of my being as I wrestled with a situation that appears to be just one of life’s ‘common dilemmas’ but is so clearly a call from my soul to go deeper, to SEE more of who I am and how I wish to live that truth. The turmoil within was so much a part of who I’ve been, the way my beliefs have formed, the ‘reality’ that lives in my cellular tissue even–that I ended up with a headache. That old familiar neck tension, the feeling in my throat that it’s closing, tight, unable–but perhaps even unWILLING to be moved. The stage of healing the wounds that lived there feels to have taken place. It’s now a matter of honoring my soul that has rested in that space–my 5th chakra. So many of my life’s lessons emanate from that energy center. She has become a familiar friend….and sometimes adversary.

When Lydia sent that text, she had no idea I’d been in dialogue with my soul this morning, engaging this very truth. The impulse was to name it, fix it, be done with it. Yet–it just wasn’t that simple. Instead, I had to listen with my heart and see with the eyes of my soul. I had to let go, turn inward and ask ‘Jackie, what do you see?’ And then the choice–to listen to her voice–my voice.

As I opened myself fully to listen, I felt the shift, the release of emotion as well as old paradigms of how to live, who to be. I connected deeply with another space of my authentic self. Ego was asked to step aside so that my soul could guide my way. Once the fear became clear, the decision became easy–the path that doesn’t give fear the leading role.

And so I ask you my friends….not what’s wrong with you or how to fix you so you’re ‘happy.’ But rather…’what do you see?’ from where YOU are? Through the mists that lie between our mind and our soul….when you look more intensely and listen with your heart….what do you find there?

Much love…xoxo

 

 

 

Every Step Supported

I find myself once again in awe of what the Universe can accomplish! And truly my friends, I can’t explain to you why this is, for I trust fully in the gifts that seem to be consistently surrounding me. Whatever it is that might be needed along the way, it seems to come at times without any awareness on my part that it was even a possibility.

Most recently I found myself having such a delightful time working with friends to create these beautiful little WordPress sites. It has become a form of canvas on which to paint the essence of one’s being, using the design, photos and language to allow the energy to unfold. Often I’ve thought what a fun little business this might be–and yet the fear of THAT client coming along who might desire a website beyond my knowledge and ability, has kept me circling, uncertain, unable to commit.

Just two days ago, I committed–fully. The evening before doing so, I found myself in tears with the realization that this could be REAL. From deep within my being came the knowledge, the knowing that once I said YES the doors would swing WIDE OPEN. In that moment, the emotions were not centered around the inability to create my dreams but the full awesomeness of the dreams coming true with just one word: YES.

And so setting the fear aside, I chose to stand up and just go with the Flow. When the client came along that needed something beyond my abilities, I would be honest and let them know perhaps I am not the right person for the job. Without any thought otherwise, I felt at peace with this next step and have begun to gather the pieces and put things in motion.

What has come next truly ‘knocks my socks off!’ Speaking with a very dear friend today, Stephen Michael Marcus of the groundbreaking Sacred Ground technology, brought about a whole new Collaboration and option for those clients who desire a bit more advanced website. Stephen is a highly intelligent, very intuitive and extremely loving being filled with so much knowledge and understanding of these more complex and intricate pieces. As we began the dialogue initiated through simple questions about me getting started, a beautiful connection began unfolding.

Are you getting this my friends? The Universe sent me what was needed…supporting me all the way in places where I had let go and wasn’t feeling fearful any longer. I wasn’t LOOKING for it…and truly in some ways hadn’t specifically asked for THIS to be a solution. And yet, we came together, each in our own space and journey, and are sharing our unique energies and gifts in a way that will not only honor our creative desires, but will honor and uplift others as well.

The miraculous occurrence of this continues to astound me….so much so, I’m not even certain I’ve effectively put it into words. What I wish for you to know, to feel deep within your being, to listen to from the quietest whispers of your heart is this dear loved ones: ALWAYS–ALWAYS you are loved, supported and held in the arms of grace. ALWAYS.

Ultimate Truth

In talking with a dear friend last night, I found myself reconnecting fully to a truth I believe is resonant for us all. Our ultimate truth–the ultimate truth–lies within the voice of our souls. It comes from the Source, however we may name that Source according to our own beliefs. We are always being called to connect, to listen to the melody of our souls mingling with the Divine. It is THE most important space of this Earth journey we are taking. And it is where we will find the answers we seek, if we are open to receive them as they are.

Imagine if you asked the Universe, the Divine:

What do I need to hear?

What is the message in this for me?

How do I find peace in this situation?

What lesson are you sending to my soul?

And then you listened….as your soul called you deeper into the space of your interior castle, into a state of grace in which you felt that overwhelming sense of contentment and trust in All That Is….

There is no greater call…truly…than that of the soul.

The Universe–your soul–is beckoning you deeper and asking you to continue on.

How do you respond?