Whispers in Reflection

I truly had no idea how dark this year has felt for me. Oh, I’ve moved along with each crisis, celebration and life event. And yet–I somehow stepped out of a sacred space, immersed more and more into the physical reality that swirled around me. The details don’t matter because my focus here is really the journey back into myself. My beloved soul companion Joss Burnel articulated it perfectly in saying that we each have times in our lives where our lives demand much of us and we exist in a different space. But when we come back into the quiet, the serenity, we feel before us a newness of ourselves and an opportunity in which to determine what pieces of our former life we will take forward. There is an energy of discovery in this new way of being that Life Herself has ushered us into.

DSC01356The whispers are returning, sweet friends. Those heart whispers that allow me to close my eyes and feel the Grace move through–those whispers that indeed allow each one of us to do that in our own unique ways. It’s not that we’ve been disconnected, only that for a period of time our attention and energy were needed elsewhere. It’s the ebb and Flow of our lives, though, isn’t it? It certainly has been for mine. I’m not sure I can recall a period of time in which so much has occurred in such a short space in my life. And I must admit I did find myself feeling it was absurd for all of this to be in MY life!? How on earth did this come to be? I don’t live this way. All those silly, false truths floated their way to the surface. And in reflection I see that I am human as are you–we each have these times in our lives and we are each given the gifts that reveal themselves as the dark veils begin to lift.

Our Sacred Circle gathering today was centered around the following passage from Circle of Stones. Upon reading it, I could sense the relevance to other times in my life, but it wasn’t until I sat in the beautiful, sacred circle of women I love that I really felt the truth of the darkness in my life so recently. It didn’t the look the way one might expect. I remembered to find consciousness through it. But that’s very different from moving into a deeply sacred, soulfully present space. THAT is the space I so love and find myself longing for. And that, my dear friends is the space we share here together. Thank you for bringing your presence into this extraordinary virtual sanctuary that is ours. We revel in the light of Divine Presence, and isn’t that, in truth, the space from which even the darkness originates?

From today’s event:

“How might your life have been different, if, as a young woman, there had been a place for you, a place where you could go to be among women… a place for you when you had feelings of darkness? And, if there had been another woman, somewhat older, to be with you in your darkness, to be with you until you spoke… spoke out your pain and anger and sorrow.

And, if you had spoken until you had understood the sense of your feelings, how they reflected your own nature, your own deepest nature, crying out of the darkness, struggling to be heard.

And, what if, after that, every time you had feelings of darkness, you knew that the woman would come to be with you? And would sit quietly by as you went into your darkness to listen to your feelings and bring them to birth… So that, over the years, companioned by the woman, you learned to no longer fear your darkness, but to trust it… to trust it as the place where you could meet your own deepest nature and give it voice.

How might your life be different if you could trust your darkness… could trust your own darkness?” ~ Circle of Stones by Judith Duerk 

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Finding Her Way Back

I lost her…..

 

Carefree, living with wild abandon

Without a care of what lies beyond in the shadows

She once ran free

Unaware of what it could mean to be ‘liberated’

 

There was no book of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’

No expectations of how to be

She already knew who she was

No need to ‘peel the layers’

 

But little by little she slipped away

…..by ‘don’t do this’ or ‘stop that’

Disapproval in the eyes of others

Sending her fire deep into hiding

 

Bit by bit her body became the enemy

Impulses to move with abandon beat into submission

Heat of her passion drowned out

Covered in shame, guilt, fear

 

She lost herself then

And all too soon she was gone

Replaced by this glorious model of perfection

So pleased to impress the ones who ‘mattered’

 

Ugly words, whispering, accusations

Seeping deep into her cells

Redefining her sense of her self

Quietly draining every last bit of resistance

 

But the story goes on….

 

Georgia O'Keefe, Red Canna
Georgia O’Keefe, Red Canna

She’s breathing again, calling her self back

Remembering the essence of who she is

Drawing Life Force deep into her soul

Beckoning Earth, Fire, Wind and Water

 

To WAKE HER UP, to stir her senses

She is WOMAN

Sensual, voluptuous, Feminine

Strong in her power

 

No longer a young maiden

Cheapened by the opinions of others

She stands with her head high

Body erect, beloved and regal

 

Finding her way back

Reclaiming all of who she is

Ferocious rebel yell

From the fire in her belly

 

The language of love–

She understands now

Takes many forms

Claims many hearts

 

Love finds her own way

Carving a path unique to her quest

Void of approval, yet rich with grace

Asking only that we open to her probing entry

 

She lost herself once

And for far too long

But the signs are all there

Soliciting return, imploring reply

 

And so comes her answer

Steeped in sweet surrender

And a quieting of all she has been told…..

 

‘Yes….yes. Yes I am here, open, willing, answering to LOVE.’