Immaculate Embrace of Love

She enters with a desperation, initiating deep longing in the very core of our being. Stirring, churning, awakening. She is a force to be reckoned with, for she doesn’t accept no for an answer. Although relentless, she remains gentle in her approach, ever willing to wait for our consent. All the while, she burns deep into our being, leaving her fiery imprint on our most interior and vulnerable space.

Her desire is for intimacy, passion and heated discomfort enough to create an opening for her entry. She is tender, holding a beautiful frequency of unconditional love. And if we allow her to penetrate, she will fill every crevice with an insatiable ache for her warmth.

AngelGoddess
Original artist of this gorgeous Divine Feminine art was unable to be verified through the internet. I would love to give credit, so please do let me know if you have information. xo

She does not disappoint, for when she does make contact–when she does find her way into the dark chalice of our being, she fills us with an inexhaustible reservoir of grace. She exhumes the shallows of our human understanding of what it is to love, what it is to be the vibration of pure love.

And she is calling. She calls to you. She calls to me, to us–with a ferocity unmatched by any other. Her warm heat flows over, around and between us, creating sacred bonds that cannot be undone. She opens us fully, spreading apart our resistance, dissolving every utterance of fears. She is pure, chaste, immaculate–devoid of shame or guilt. She knows no boundaries, nor needs any. She is All. She is you. She is me. We are One.

 

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Holiday Moms ~ Unconditional Love

Love LaurenQuite unexpectedly, I’ve felt a calling from within my being. It wasn’t until a beloved and respected Facebook friend, Robin Rice made a post on her page. She was seeking moms of LGBTQ children to take part in a holiday project. Our oldest daughter Lauren is gay and part of this community. Immediately I sent Robin an email and asked how I could help.

Your Holiday Mom is a website sharing letters, videos and audio messages from 40 mothers (and some fathers too) for 40 days between Thanksgiving and New Years. To take part in this project, to be one of those 40 moms–has felt like an immense honor. Being Lauren’s mom has taught me so much about how people are all the same, we’re all gifted with an ability to love and a fear that we might not BE loved. Lauren is proud of who she is, and in the year and a half since she graduated high school especially, we’ve watched her blossom into this amazing being SO filled with a huge heart and unconditional love. Would I say she’s different? Absolutely – because she is – in many ways. Listening to Sally Field talk about her son being gay today lent validation to my belief that it seems there’s almost something so much more open, vulnerable, unconditional in how these ‘special’ beings inspire us to love.

Learning my letter would be shared on Christmas day brought tears to my eyes. Since I connected with this project, I’ve become deeply aware of a growing desire to be there for people who struggle with feeling ok about who they are, who they love and how they experience life from a different perspective. I’m not sure where this all leads me, but I’m going to be finding ways of connecting locally in my own community. And as I watch Lauren with her first real girlfriend, who doesn’t feel so loved and accepted, I’m feeling the call to just hold space and BE love for these young people – and some who are my age and older. Our world needs love around this community. They’re the same as us, and I intend to share that message with all who are willing to hear.

Here’s my letter….of love…and of loving Lauren. I hope you’ll take some time to read the other Mom letters, and some of the comments left from those who read our messages. It will break your heart and give you hope all at once. Much love to you, my friends. xo

 

Love’s Post-A-Day

I think I could write a post a day on all the properties, experiences, lessons, joys, heartbreak, inspiration (you get the idea) of love. She comes to us in so many forms, not the least of which is through the cracks in our hearts. Today’s Lesson: Moving past the frustration, through the heartbreak and into the space of love’s purity. 

So often I hear Rumi’s word in my heart: the crack, the wound is where the light shines through. As I laid on my pillow letting tears flow last night, recognizing for the first time with great clarity a deep heart pain, I nearly smiled with the truth of it. Amidst all of this, there is radiant light beginning to seep into through the jagged edges of heartbreak. I know the words, all too well. I’ve watched my mom go through ‘letting go’ of her five children as we grew into adults. Perhaps with little enough appreciation and definitely void of any understanding of what was really occurring in the deepest space of her heart. We give them birth, feeling even then our heartspace cracking wide open with a love we didn’t know was possible. As our children grow, we revel in our ability to provide their needs, nurture their spirit, honor their individuality. Without even giving a thought to the day when they DON’T need us; when we cease to be the center of their world. When the careful work we have done to let them make choices and be who they are suddenly becomes the impetus to a disengagement from their dependence on us. And truthfully my friends – I would have been the last one to expect this of myself, but I must tell you – it hurts like hell. 

I wasn’t prepared – at all – for the level of heartbreak I’m recognizing in myself. Nope, not me. I’ve done deep pain release, letting it all go in cries that come from the darkest places of our insides. I’m good. Ready to go forward with a happy excitement for the next chapter of our lives. I THOUGHT. I was wrong. NOTHING in me was ready for this–for the realization that I’m holding on so tightly I’m creating conflict. I’ve forgotten that I want to LOVE, unconditionally. The pain became the lead, so quietly, covertly–converting into frustration and the belief that I was doing what was ‘best.’ But what I learned a few years back to do with my husband is just what I need to connect with as a mother: just love. Stop waiting for them to become what I see would be good, better, best for them. Stop wanting them to be what they are not. For gosh sakes, Jackie, stop trying to bend the situation to YOUR will. Love. Love them because YOU want to, not because they’re asking, not because they appreciate it–do it for the greatest reason there is: because YOU want to. Because I want to. 

 

Surrender. Let go. Once again, I find myself sitting deep in the center of these words. Follow the truth I believe in wholeheartedly and let this child go. Surrender their well-being to the Universe, who of course is much more qualified than you. Ugh. Dearest friends, I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t find this truth amongst the hurt overlaid with frustration. But I’m feeling it…and finding more peace as the day goes on and it settles in. 

And yet….I know in the core of my being – this is his path. He is fully held in the arms of grace. I’ve said it so many times, haven’t I? Do you believe it Jackie? Yes, yes, I do. Then LET go. 

And love. Just love. I know this harmony so well. Being able to view the situation with a bit more clarity, to release the frustration, to feel the heartbreak….I can find my way into the power of love. SHE will be our guide, now that I’m getting out of the way.

I’m grateful for the gift of clarity, of seeing this situation from a new perspective and reconnecting to a truth I can emulate: BE love. Love because YOU want to….because your heart longs to. xo 

 

Percolating Love

Growing up I was certain that once I fell in love and got married my life would change drastically and things would become clear, easy, happy. Imagine my pain in falling off that pedestal of false perception! For years I wondered how I could have been so wrong, how the Universe could orchestrate such depths of love and connection between two souls, only to leave us empty, yearning for what felt so out of reach. 

It’s been twenty years my husband and I have been together now. The dream I carried in my heart as a child has taken a long and winding journey of its own, alongside the path of my life. But what is true is this, my friends: that dream of love being the answer to everything I desired–it’s truth. Love is the answer. It does carry a powerfully healing and empowering energy. Only not in the way we all anticipate. It doesn’t look like Snow White and her Prince Charming. Nor is it the racy, passionate love we expect to be duplicated from what we see on the screen, onto the pages of our every day existence. 

Connecting to love’s presence takes time. We have so many boundaries and barriers to her entrance into the very tender and vulnerable core of our heart. As humans in Earth school, we are adept at holding her prisoner, placing expectations on how she is meant to look and enter our lives. Sometimes so much so that we can’t recognize her even when she arrives in all her beauty and glory. We push back, keep her warmth at bay–believing somehow WE are the ones being wronged in this scenario. 

We aren’t yet trained to see love as she is. Quiet, open, inviting–ever beckoning us to let go. She waits for us as we wrestle with the art of surrender. With patience and grace she holds space while we flounder in the depths of our own wounds and fears. And when we emerge through healing and a desire to be whole, she is there. Arms open, fully ready and willing to hold us in her embrace. 

One of the most beautiful things about Divine love is she does not force herself upon us. Always we have the choice–stay or go. Open or hold on tightly to what feels ‘safe.’ Walk away with our pride intact, or stay in the place where transforming fire burns away the rough edges of our ego. For beyond those walls of protection lives the most exquisite gem of who we are–the capacity to let go, to love completely, to trust that we are always held in the arms of her grace. 

Twenty years. Love has been percolating in my marriage all this time, and I’ve only just realized it over the last few years. Even in the darkest moments–she never left us–she never left me. The true essence of her has been right here all along, waiting to be unleashed, burning through the barriers we’ve so meticulously engineered around our soft spots. And today, my friends, she could even be Prince Charming! Only Prince Charming isn’t the man I thought he was. He’s REAL. He’s authentic, with dreams, hopes, fears and a truth of his own. We are both human–AND spirit. We are meant to be side by side, loving, supporting, honoring one another. And together, through all of life’s curves and turns, we have and are continuing to learn just how to follow her lead. She is our ever present Guide. 

The choice continues to be ours. Follow, open, allow, surrender….or hold tight. For me personally, I find the more I let go and surrender to the Divine, to the power of the Love I so desire, the more it is reflected back to me. What greater gift could I want from the man I love than to speak directly to the very tender and vulnerable core of my heart? I can’t think of anything. It’s been worth the wait, the struggles, the challenges, the heartbreak to come full circle to this place. No doubt, we have more turns to navigate, but we’ll do it together and in the warm rays of Divine Love.