Missing You…Missing Me

These words are from The Wild Pomegranate, a beautifully and poignantly written blog by a friend of mine: 

I find that I’ve been missing my morning writing time.  I’ve missed being in that quiet space in the morning, that creative womb of silence, where inspiration naturally blooms to the sound of a waking world and the clicking of fingernails on a keyboard.

My new moon intention is about finding my creative voice again, which has taken a back seat in recent months.  And, because it’s all about me, it’s all for perfectly selfish reasons, of course.  *laughing*  But in all sincerity, I miss the community I once enjoyed in Blogland – the daily (or almost so) interaction with like minded people who bring so much joy, inspiration, companionship and “I get you!” into my life.   Ah, there we have it – the “real” issue, I guess:  I miss being around people that “Get” me.

I’ve missed you!  You who find that what I have to say has value and import, who understand that I am a multidimensional human spirit who will not be squeezed into a box or a label or a “position”, and who cheer me on through good times and bad.

And I’ve missed sharing what’s on my heart and in my mind.  I’ve missed the words themselves.”

As I read these final notes of today’s post, I could relate completely in many ways.  First, the inner joy of writing words.  If ever I were to have a love affair it would be with words.  Writing them, typing them, watching them appear on the paper or the screen in front of me.  It’s mesmerizing almost…with a sense of magic happening before my very eyes.  At times I’m in disbelief that I was blessed to create something so eloquent and dare I say, elegant.  In truth, there occasions where I’m in awe of the words that flow so easily.  It’s a gift..I’m fully aware of this…and equally as in love with it.  

What also struck me in Gracie’s sentiment was a reflection of how I’ve been feeling while away from my writing these last several days.  A longing, a desire to connect here, to share with this community that exists in my heart and soul, if not in my everyday “real” life.  Your presence and willingness to be here in this place with me has become a part of my inner self.  We are Universally connected, in a way that sometimes “real” life can’t offer us.  Some of you live across the ocean.  It’s unimaginable that we can so naturally, so authentically come together as One in this place.  And again, I find myself in awe.  Of you, of us, of this Divine thread weaving itself into our lives and our souls. 

So thank you.  For allowing me to be myself, to share with you so purely and as Gracie so beautifully stated–for “getting me.”  You warm my heart, you speak to my soul.  And today my loved ones….your loving presence is the whisper I feel from within….xoxo

Follow Your Heartsong

There are times I feel strongly the desire to express through writing, but the words escape me. This morning I decided to pick up an old journal from the middle of 2007 and seek out some of the poetry I had written a few years ago. Reading those lyrics that seem such a short time ago in my life, I was instantly aware of how far I’ve come and how much has been released over the last 3 1/2 years of this journey. The shift within myself was immediate, bringing about a clearer perspective on who I am TODAY. Uncertainties, doubts, worries about where I am on my present path vanished as I began to read the words of a woman who had no voice. Searching desperately she implored God, her soul, her self to step into the light, into authenticity.

“What’s there in my soul, hiding out in the dark? Flames would burst into fire – just give me one spark. Let me just get a glimpse of this delicate space. Step out of the shadows, show me your face. Something within is calling to me – I can’t quite hear its voice; it’s barely a whisper yet it feels like a scream. Crying out in great pain, begging me for its ease. ‘You’re not making sense’ comes my reply. Though your lips move, neither words nor sound can escape. What is keeping you mute, can’t you see, don’t you know? Why can’t you break free from this master of your soul? You want to, I see desperation in your eyes. The message seems clear – this is now ‘do or die.'”

As I look back upon the growing pains of developing my own voice, becoming an authentic expression of who I truly am inside–I can both feel her pain and at the same time feel the love that has grown in its place.  This woman had to want it.  She had to need it, desperate enough to risk all her comforts to find it.

And through her eyes, I can now see how much I have healed the holes in my spirit.  She has a voice now–and sings beautifully her heartsong.

Don’t judge where you are in your journey.  Allow yourself to feel what you feel, experiencing what you must in order to release old wounds and burdens.  Beneath all of that breathes a vibrant, extraordinary spirit, just waiting for your permission to BE.

We each have our own heartsong.  Its sweet sounds can be heard when we honor who we are in this very moment and take the time to listen…..to the whispers of our hearts…..

Moving Forward

There’s so much in our world today that we expect to “move forward.”  Whether it be fast food, drive through dry cleaning or express checkout….we are constantly “on the move.”

For me today, there’s a different connotation to “moving forward.”  I love writing, especially when it comes from the heart.  As I sit here with you…I imagine us opening up together over a steaming hot cup of tea….with delightful little cookies to nibble on.  There is nothing pressing us to move quickly….no need for instant gratification.

Where we travel together is a state of being.  Moving forward is stepping into the whole of ourselves, seeing ourselves for who we truly are and with gentleness allowing ourselves to be just that.  There’s no pressure here, no expectations.  Just an easy space of contemplation….openness…..connection to something that compels us to open ourselves to the depth of the Spirit that exists within us.

Within that Spirit lives love, joy, compassion, peace.  These are the true desires of our heart….what we all, in our own way, strive toward.  And so that….my friends…..is how I am moving forward.  Taking this time, in this space, to listen to the whispers of my own heart.  Perhaps you can hear yours too….

xo – J